Amherst Steele High School - Amherstonian Yearbook (Amherst, OH)

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Last Will and Testament Thirty-one, about to die, salutes you! Contrary to the custom in such cases and loath as are all members of my conserva- tive profession to establish precedents, only at the behest of my noble client, Thirty- one, have I callled you together, before her death, to hear her will and to receive her gifts. I was persuaded to the action by the unusual circumstances of my client. I dread to tell you, but be calmg the doctor is here ready to rev ve all fainting ones, but he cannot attend too many. Here is my secret, keep it well! A consultation of doctors was called together on Friday, May the twenty-ninth, doctors never known to fail in their prognostications. They have announced that on Wednesday, June the third, thirty-one must die! Had I known what a commotion you would raise and how badly you would feel, the Superintendent himself could not have dragged th's secret from me. My client wishes me to state that owing to a lightness in the head, caused by its gradual swell- ing during the last four years, and a heaviness in the heart and other organs, caused by thoughts of parting and over-feasting, respectively, she may have been mistaken in her inventory, but such as she thinks she has she gives to you, praying that you may not believe that it is only because she cannot keep her goods that she is generous. We, the Class of Thirty-one, being about to leave this sphere, in full possession of a crammed mind, well trained memory and almost riuperhuman understanding, do make and publish this our last will and testament, hereby revoking and mak'ng void all for- mer wills by us at any time heretofore made. GENERAL DISPOSALS To the Faculty we leave one bottle of Goofy's Remedy for Shattered Nerves, know- illg that it Will be greatly needed by them after our departure. To our class advisor, Miss Murray, We bequeath a sweet and unbroken succession of restful nights and peaceful dreams. To the Juniors we leave our ability as orators, readers, athletes, musicians and journalsts. To the Sophomores we leave the privilege of playing Sir Walter Raleigh to the Seniors. T0 the Freshmen we give our science books in order that they may find some n1eth0d of losing their gI'eenne'SS, Whieh has been a noticeable affliction throughout the year. SPECIAL DISPOSALS Valerie Eppley does hereby bestow upon Ralph Brucker her abil'ty to give parties and to serve angel-food cake. Harold Mathes herewith gives his dimples to Elizabeth Buscher. Geraldine Giblin leaves her ability to talk twice as fast as anyone else to Marguer- ite Delefield, Donald Ludwig wills his postion as chauffeur for Miss Steele, to Allen Schroeder. Myrtle Williams bequeaths her willingness to keep steady company to any girl who thinks she can endure it. I Earl Gillman leaves to the Palmolive Soap Co. a story explaining 110W he hae kept that school-girl complexion, Mildred Telzerow leaves her raven locks to Courance Sausaman. Will'am Guild bequeaths his skill in swishing baskets to Donald Turner. Wilford Diedrick does willingly give all his skill for writing poems to Mike Naba- kowski. This ability will enable Mike to wr'te love Sonnets to Dorothy Fllllmer- Robert Krause wills his demureness to James Shay. Jim may use it to a great ad- vantage, but he probably won't. Florence Guild leaves to George Cox her ability to pronounce French. Grace Hubbard gives her dramatic ability to Ruth Ehrman. Grace hopes that, if Page Fourteen '

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Miss Strohmeler has the starr'ng role, that of Ruth Devere, and Laurie Miller plays opposite her as Ralph Morrow. Comedy and laughs are furni hed by Frank Rockwood as Ambrose Pitts. The production was d'rected by John Franklin, noted for his many stupendous and magnificent color and music shows. The costumes W8l'Q'Sl' signed by Grace Hubbard and Naoma Ruth, and stage settings were made under the supervision of Richard Draves and Myron Northeim. The operator ls, of course, the experienced Harry I-Ioffner, who has been in the business for many years. That seems to complete the cast and staff, fo'ks. I find we have a few minutes left and so I will try to pick out of this crowd some of the celebrities you may know. Sitting in a box on my left are the same in eparable three, Paul Braun, now a world-renowned scientist, and the only living man who thor- oughly understands the ofd Einstein theory, Earl Gillman, President of the American Undertakers' Union, and William Guild. head of the department of athletics at Notre Dame. Just across the auditorium in the press box, sits Algegert Fritz, Los Angeles correspondent for the New York Evening Time . With her are Pearl Murray, Ohio W. C. T. U. President, and Geneva Shinskey, founder of the Shinskey Method of Book- keep ng. All three have proved that women have a place in the business world. Just a moment, friends. There seems to be quite a stir at the rear of the audi- torium. I'll tell you about it in just a second. Oh, yes! Wilford Diedrich called the Uncrowned Poet-Laureate of America, just entered with Gaston Joseph, big leader 'n Chicago politics. Now Isee Henry Gerstenberger and Valerie Eppley coming into their box. Mr. Gerstenberger is the owner of the Dependable Hardware Stores with wholesale houses In fifteen states. Miss Eppley was the star of this season's Green- wich Villafze Follies, where she 'wept the crowds off their feet with her marve'ous tap dancing. With them 's Florence Guild, Mr. Gerstenberger's private secretary. In another box on my left, there seems to be a 'stag' party. Otis Schofield, cap- taln of the President Hoover, the largest ocean vessel built, has as his guests Seymour Norton, As lstant Secretary of Agriculture, and John Liss, now head chef at the Silver Peacock Inn, owned by Miss Ruth Mischka. Miss Anna Abraham is also here, She is hostess at the same night club and is extremely popular with alll the patrons. Juvenile Judge Thelma Mays, who got her law training from her father, is in the audience, with Carolyn Sharp and Myrtle Williams, who run the Mona Baby Nursery on Minerva Street. And one of the most noted authorities on birds, Miss Katherine Kuhn, au- thoress of Birds and Their Habits. is also a member of the group. In another private box I see Mr. and Mrs. Harold Mathes. Mr. Mathes is the super- intendent of the California branch of the U. S. Automatic Co. Mrs. Mathes was for- merly Mlss Geraldine Glblin. Just about time for the lights to go out, and the picture to start, friends, but I'll take one more glance about. Oh. I nearly missed Miss Alice Becker, proprietor of the most fashionable hat and glove shop in Los Angeles. She is just ln front of another well-known young lady, Miss Mildred Telzerow. Matron at Lakeside Hospital. With Miss Telzerow is Miss Dorothy Ilakofsky, instructor of French at Vassar. And last. but by far not leant, are the same old two pals wc used to know. the M'sses Uldeen Uatron and Eleanor Burke, mofllstes. who have come over from Paris to superintrend the opening of their newest branch shoppe in Hollywood. The-re go the lights, folks, and the first showing of Two Hearts as One ls about to start. My time ls up now, and I am afraid I shall have to sign off. However, I wish you could all be here with us tonight to enjoy the novelty of this great event. Your announcer has been Donald Ludwig. 'I'h's is the Columbia Broadcasting System. Good night, all! NAOMA RUTH LAURIE MILLER GEORGE INNFIS Page Thirteen

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Egan exerc'ses it to the utmost, she will make a wonderful leading lady for Frederick s. Myron Northeim bestows his job as policeman on William Edwards. Warning to motorists: Don't argue with William. Naoma Ruth wills her love for romance and moonlight rides to Ruth Hermann. Ruth will surely find some member of the opposite sex to share them with her. Henry Gerzztenberger gives some of h's ready wit to Nelson Raesler. However, this must be used only on special occasions, such as in the balcony at noon. Ruth Mischka leaves her ability to play the organ to Herbert Edwards. Max Egeland bequeaths his musical ability to the High School Orchestra ot 1931-32, because he is sure that said orchestra will need it after he in gone. Uldean Catron w'lls her slow rhythmic walk to Myrtle Franklin. Wilmont Baker bestows his long lower limbs on Gerald Bruce, who can surlfly make use of them. Anna Abraham leaves her skill in jerking sodas to Mary Lahltf. Otis Schofield bequeaths his love for argument: and debates to the ring committee ol' the Senior Class of 1932. Kathryn Strohmeier leaves her ability to have seven dates each week to Helen Bortner. Don't get excited, Helen, because two of these dates are of the grocery store var'ety. Gorge Innes gladly leaves the presidency of next, year's Senior Cla. s to any Junior who is dumb enough to take it. Dorothy Meitzke bequeaths her ability to play the saxophone to Katherine Hen- BOD. Seymour Norton wills to Foster Jenne his love for skating and trapping. Dorothy Lakofsky leaves her driving skill and red coupe to Norberta Davis. Paul Braun w'llingly bestows upon George Boyce his love for s:cho'arship contests. Katherine Kuhn gives and bequeaths her quiet, retiring, demure mannerlsms, and her natural shyness, together with all unused blushes, to Janice Holzhauer. Harry Hortner leaves his ability to arch the basketball to Arthur Thomas. The school wishes to save the banking boards, Art. Alice Becker wills her ability to play basketball to Leota Marshall. Frank Rockwood leaves his name Tarzan and h's manly form to James Innes. Gaston Joseph sincerely wills his auburn, curly hair to Richard Baetz. Gaston knows it will be very becoming to Richard. Robert Fleckner leaves his big bars horn to Frederick Leuzler. Pearl Murray leaves her love for fishing to Florence Herbst. Eleanor Burke leaves all the knowledge she has gained in her study of Home Eco- nomics to Lois Stiwald. Donald Ludwig wishes to put in a word of thanks to Eleanor for her kindness. Thelma Mays, with best regards, leaves her alarm clock to Ben Edwards. Richard Draves bequeaths his stage managership to Henry Hargar, kngwing that Henry will be of great value to Miss Rice. Geneva Shinskey, with the consent of her family, sincerely leaves to Marie Wil. helm her squeaky shoes and the Michigan Mouse . Laurie Miller leaves his gift of gab to Ralph Stark, hoping Ralph will decide to say something for a change. Caroline Sharp bequeaths her high spirits and fiery nature to Catherine Bodmann. Algegeft Fritz bequeaths her ability to scribble shorthand to Mary Nord. hop- ing it will win for Mary another reading contest. John F'l'aI1klil1 WilliI1glY19HV9S his much-used crutches to the most unlucky memlber of the Junior Class. John Liss wills his knowledge of Manual Training to Rose Grobe. This know- ledge will enable Rose to manufacture her own rolling pins. Signed- DONALD LUDWIG GERALDINE GIBLIN SEYMOUR NORTON Witnesses- MARION STEELE KATHRYN MURRAY Page Fifteen