Amherst College - Olio Yearbook (Amherst, MA)

Page 17 text:

AMIIERST COLLEGE OLIO. I5 childish glee. Then, too, I must not fail to chronicle the strange silence of the Shutesbury divine and Knight of Pelham. It is even whispered that owing to certain irregularities his priestly mantle has fallen upon the shoulders of the gifted Kebbe. Still, despite these minor changes, Eighty-Eight as a class,- such is the united testimony of Morgan, Swampy, and Doc Ar- nold,-as a class we are essentially unchanged. Waldo still sports the same demoniac grin. Richard's slippery tongue as ever wags in crooked ways, Wilky's legs ditto. Bispham ! alas! who has not heard that far resounding blat, and asked, Has God's sanctuary become a barn for Bashan's bulls ? Bispham is the same irrepress- ible. Not to tire you longer with the monotony of this picture, let us turn and contemplate a fairer and more progressive one. It is the work of Eighty-l5ight's artistic genius, the same that strove with patriotic zeal to emblazon her achievements on the granite rock of the library steps. Alas! how sad a spectacle was that! Greatness unappreciated, and its pathetic cry for an immortal name smoth- ered in benzine and soft soap. Less ethereal but far more realistic is the scene I now present to you. It is the historic Mo1'gan trial painted in what remained of our prize lemonade. This lemonade was first thinned to the proper consistency by an infusion of mouth gas manufactured by Ripley for the express purpose. In the foreground of this picture are Eighty-Eight's illustrious sons, B--n, P-r T1y, and Gi-n. S-s is represented standing in an heroic attitude be- fore his accusers. It is the great recantation scene, and below are the words, And yet she moves. This is supposed to be quoted from Plato, with special reference to the New London Northern railroad. The piece is ideal in its realism. B-n's face is deli- ance itself, T--y's bland countenance as though conscious of the great honor he is conferring upon his fellow-classmen. The benign countenance of the Doctor, too, shows no trace of the college officer sent to report upon the gentlemanly character of the testimony. As one looks closer at the group there comes over him a vague sense of something lacking to complete the picture. This arises no doubt from the absence of J--n.

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I4 AMHERST COLLEGE OLIO. EIGHTY-EIGHT. YELL. Karoi-Karol ! Ka-Rak-Kak-Koi ! Ka-Rak-Ka-Rak-'88. UMMER is passed and vacation is ended. Eighty- ., Eight and li. Lincoln Wood are still here. The pres- ence of the latter admits of no scientific explanation. ffl, Of the former is our theme. As a class we are ex- .5 J ceedingly precocious. Indeed, our failure to graduate last June was a great surprise to the most of us. Not so, it seems, to the Faculty. On careful examination James Gilbert Riggs and J. Romeyn Danforth, Jr., were alone found to have attained that angelic state of depraved docility produced by a con- tinuous diet of Presidential pap. It was recommended that they go up higher, but the sanctimonious calm that broods over their faces still abides, our common heritage and passing benecliction. Once more, then, does this class appear before you. Its advent to the senior year has been marked by few changes. To be sure the old white derb suddenly disappeared-that derb that like a clarion of war for a decade inspired in Freshman fearful expecta- tion and in Sophomore dire alarm, but that strange event that marks the most brilliant epoch in the history of scientific discov- ery is perfectly simple, and probably has no connection with Eighty-Eight. There were some minor changes, but mostly in our general topography. Old members left usg new men came, Corn- well's bristling mcwzmr dc frz'.s'c shrank to civilized proportions, Apthorp's pilosity advanced twenty per cent. at the consciousness of its own seniority, and now esthetic, downy softness vies with rosy,

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I6 AMHIERST COLLEGE OLIO. But perhaps we are boring you other classmen by dwelling on a scene so peculiarly our own. Loath are we to leave this topic, for our achievement in art is the last bright scintillation of expiring genius. Yes, we are getting well along now. In revery we return to its earlier years, reviewing each familiar scene. How fresh we were when as babes we sucked the milk of the contract, in loco j1arc1zfz's.f I-low bold, when in a burst of filial repentance we gave the President our first cane Qin loco Eighty-Sevenj. We are a progressive class, a real case of Darwinian develop- ment. As Sophomores we reached the monkey stage, and a smarter class never greased the seats they left behind them. We stand well up the ladder of fame. Before us the prospect is brilliantg behind we leave the record of a spirit unchecked, a courage undaunted, and a career unsurpassed. - Tzyjfy.