American University - Talon / Aucola Yearbook (Washington, DC)

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Courses Dot In The 7M - 75 Caialo9 ue 101.19 Basic Registration. (Prerequisite: 415.67 Arti- ficial Intelligence). Formerly listed as 101.36 Know Your MIRF. This course is designed to assist the student in recognizing little green boxes, legibly printing between the lines, and scribbling in spaces reserved for office use only. (Section -01 reserved for Introductory Studies majors and their immediate families). (Void where prohibited). 000.00 Intro, to Add-Drop. (Prerequisite:— 1.32 Intro, to Lines II). For the advanced student this course offers technical practicum in signature scrounging, improper use of multicopy forms, forging, and counselor duping. Suggested follow-up courses include Section Closeout, Gobbledygook I and II. 244.55 Class Change. This course, designed primarily for freshpersons and transfer students, is structured to provide the student the greatest mobility and flexibility of action between class periods. A seminar course, with frequent laboratory work on an individual basis. Topics include evasion tactics, traffic regulations, location of convenient fire exits, and cross-country sprinting to dis- tant parking spaces. 222.000 Dorm Bathrooms. This course is required of all Party majors, on an independent study basis with laboratory time scheduled at odd hours of the day and night. Topics covered include toothbrush techniques, fighting the Sunday Night Toilet Paper Shortage Blues, and practicum in oral elimination. 999.997 Advanced Paranoia. Oh my go d they ' re knocking on the door I ' ll hide behind my bed under my desk in one of the drawers sweet Jesus save me from them all are there seeds on my desk it ' s crawling through the window the covers if i can ' t see them they can see me they ' re coming in aaaaaaaaaaaa- aaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuughgh! 683.97 How to Cope with Macke Wonderland (topics course. May be repeated for fun and profit). Abusing change machines, two-for-one sales, basic pastry selec- tion, cigarette flavors, assaulting Macke ladies for cash, glass smashing, basic frustration-agression impulse release. 638.99 Shoplifting for Survival. Tavern pitchers and mugs, ARA Glass-ware, lounge couches and chairs, sug- ar, silverware, bowls, hideaway techniques, flightbags, purses, transvestism for merchandise, Saturday meals on Friday night, salt shakers, traffic signs, and much, much, more. (May be repeated on consignment). 572.43 Roommate Disposal. Basic abuse, sleeping in, sleeping out, effective use of stereos, effective non- use of deodorant and soap, Monday night parties, heavy dope, noise for light sleepers, the third roommate ploy, prankster ' s gambit, etc. 11.111 Fun and Games. Dorm hockey, killer frisbees stalking the halls, the water bucket gambit, sado- masochism, tormenting resident advisors, parties, flip- ping baseball cards, mattress theft. Intensive laboratory time required. 899.46 Intro, to ARA. Four juices for breakfast, vita- mins, protein, and other topics of popular fiction. Basic malnutrition, studies in stomach pump technology, an introduction to cold spinach. page 12

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Kobert Clear cj -provost a president GieorgeWiIliQpis page 14