Alta High School - Accipitor Yearbook (Sandy, UT)

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Getting closer to Brad Spartan. Dianne Clark at- temps to capture his attention by just whispering date’s name, address, and phone number. C) sell your panty hose to the girl at the next table and leave your profit. 10. As you try to pull out of the parking lot. your paranoid date distracts you with her cries to “be careful” and you accidently drive head-on into a snow- bank. Do you A) tell her to get out and push—after all. it was her fault. B) give her 40 t and send her home on UTA. C) make the best of the situation—pull out a blanket, put on some soft mu- sic. and wait for the spring thaw. 11. Arriving at the theatre, you try to buy your tickets, but are ID’ed. Being only 16. you A) settle for the only other show at the theatre. The Happy Adventures of Willy the Bear” B) offer to scrape the gum off the bot- toms of all their seats if they’ll just let you in. C) pull out your older sister’s ID and claim to be a reformed transvesite. 12. Five minutes into the movie, an ex- plicit nude scene is shown. Do you A) discreetly excuse yourself to the bathroom, and stay there until the movie is over. B) ask your date if he thinks you could get extra credit in anatomy for watching. C) fling your Tangy Taffy at the screen in an attempt to cover strategic areas. 13. After the show, your date pretends to runout of gas at Corner Canyon. Do you A) say “no gas. no pass” B) pull out your Ronco Purse-Size Mr. Gas Can. assuring him it contains enough to get you to the next sta- tion. C) Que sera sera ... 14. Finally, the big moment at the door. You lean over to kiss your date, but she moves her head and your braces get caught on her earring. Do you A) nonchalantly wave at her mother who is peeking out the window at you. B) take the opportunity to mumble sweet nothings into her ear. Dancing, a popular way to spend a date was an activity that could be exciting and enjoyable—even when your date was not. C) pull away fast and exclaim. “Hey now you look just like Van Gogh!” DIRECTIONS After you have completed the question- aire. give yourself points as follows: “A”—1 point “B”—2 points “C”—3 points Then total your points and interpret your score by using the scale below. For those who wished to remember their date with pictures, school dances held appeal 14-23: Congratulations, you are a safe date. However, you may notice that when you go out. your dates usually develope strange illnesses and take you home at 9:30. Your telephone is probably very dusty. 24-33: My, you have scored in the “nor- mal” range. Here are all the absolutely normal things you have to look forward to during your adolescent years: disappoint- ing blind dates, untimely pimples, a “C” average in physiology, and 9.7 dates per yer. 34-42:You pervert! Do you honestly think anyone will ever ask you out on a second date? Contact a psychiatrist immediately or else try to find someone who has scored similarly on this test! Dating Quiz ■ 23

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Everything You Wanted To Know About — Dates But Were Afraid To Find Out 1. Stepping on the scale the night of your hot date, you realize that you are 10 lbs. overweight. Realizing that even a Jane Fonda Workout won’t do the job in just 2 hours you A) readjust your scale until it says you’ve lost 15 lbs. B) tape an article on why fat women are appealing to your door and hope your date reads it on his way in. C) chop off your left arm—it easily weighs 10 lbs. 2. When you arrive to pick up your date, you find she is still in the shower. Do you A) quietly endure as her younger sister is sent downstairs to entertain you with her pep club routine. B) tell her to just throw on a towel — you’re going to a Toga party any- Pictures speak louder than words way. C) mention that you haven’t had a chance to shower yet either. 3. You are introduced to her parents and they give you the standard is he worthy of our daughter’’ quiz. Do you A) pull out your pocket-size geneology records. B) look at them blankly and reply. No speakie dee Engleesh.” C) inconspicuously try to cover the woman tatooed on your forearm. 4. Getting in the car. you notice that there is no handle on the door. Your date explains that you have to crawl in so you A) tell him you would rather take your father’s golf cart and meet him there. B) strap yourself to the roof and pre- tend you are a ski rack. C) impress him with a double back half gainer through the window. 5. While driving to the restaurant, you realize that your date is the epitome of a bore and has absolutely nothing to say. In a desparate attempt at conversation you A) roll down all the windows and com- ment on how chilly the weather has been. B) turn the radio up and suggest a Mi- chael Jackson sing-along. C) bring up last night’s All Star Wres- tling Match. 6. Trying to impress you. your immature date decides to drive with his feet while sticking his head out the sun roof. Disgusted with his behavior you A) slap an odor-eater on the gear-shift and be thankful that at least half of him is out of the car. B) grab the wheel and swerve under an up-coming low bridge. C) roll the roof shut, decapitating him—he wasn’t very good com- pany anyway. 7. When you arrive at the restaurant, they inform you that your reserva- tions have been lost. Do you A) skip dinner and go to Fitness Ameri- ca—she was a little on the fat side anyway. B) try to sneak in with the Plumber’s Convention, party of 276. C) apologize to your date then drive to the nearest Taco Time, utilizing your 3 for $1 coupon. 8. Trying to save money, you order the house special, Potluck Casserole. Upon taking the first bite, you realize it contains brussel sprouts which be- cause of allergies, make you turn pur- ple. Do you A) switch plates with your date while she’s in the bathroom. B) clear your plate, thankful that you aren’t wearing orange—it would clash with your purple skin. C) pretend you are blowing your nose and spit the food into your napkin. 9. Your cheap date decides that he is too cool to leave a tip. Trying to save yourself humiliation, you A) place a rectangular piece of lettuce on the table, hoping no one will no- tice until you are safely out of the restaurant. B) leave the waitress an IOU with your 22 ■ Dating Quiz

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Announces Byron Goff Lara Hove Safer Jennifer Soufas Stage Manager Shane Thomas Mrs AntrofeJS Teresa Anderson Dinosaur Shetty Bailey Mamoth Kathy Williams Telegraph Boy Mark Nelson Gladys Lara Taytor Henry Ron Harrison Mr. Antrotous PfeHip Had Doctor Terry Sharrer Professor Kevin McClellan Judge Jim Van Dusen Homer Rick Vonk Miss R Muse Jennifer Jensen M«ss T Muse Heather Campbell Miss M Muse Michelle Linder The Crier Michelle Gandre Fortune Teller Jeanne Homer street Cleaner Scott Longman Broadcast Official Beth A Adams Asst Broadcaster Official Ho y Garrison Asst Stage Manager Amy Smith Defeated Candidate Ricky Hatch Camera Man Crag Larrabee Studio Director Reoecca Conover The Replacements Reed Beardsley. Li a Davies Elsa Smith. Johnny Worlhen Tourist Fam y Jason Clar. Michaiie Gandre. Brian Hail. K.m Sebaske Conveeners Ton Brearton Kan Childs. Metta Oauson. Lorn Frogget. ShaSae McOmber. Caroline Sanches. April Swenson Show Gets Jam Els wood, jube Goff. Sune Goff. Shen Hamngton. Cathy Harlley, Paula Heller. PauHne Johnson. Stephan Keddngton. Jan Southworth Reciting the newly invented multiplication tables. Henry (Ron Harrison), pleases his father (Phillip Hall) and mother (Teresa Anderson). 24 BSchool Play