Alexis High School - Memoirs Yearbook (Alexis, IL)

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l e, Mistook I waited for her on the porch; The sky was black as ink. The roses red breathed incense round; The tree birds chirped, I think. Soon came she softly to the door And groped to find the light. I did not want the darkness spoiled; I love to love by night. I clasped her in my eager arms — Our lips met one another. She screamed, and pushed the button on. Ye Gods! It was her mother. Phelix — Well, Doc, did you get the dime cut of the boy that acc-ideiit- ally swallowed it? Doc — Yes, and two and a half out of the father of the boy. How do you like it here? asked the Cape Colony girl to the new girl next door. I like it. We got crematsd cellars, cemetry plumbing, elastic lights and a hoosit. What ' s a hoosit? Oh a bell rings. You put a thing to your ear and say ' Hello ' and then some one says ' Hello ' and you say ' Hoosit ' . Mr. Farrell (With Newspaper) — Do ycu know William, that every time you draw your breath some one dies. Bill — Wel l I ' m sorry; but I can ' t help it and if I quit drawing my breath I ' d die too. How is it, demanded Mr. Lung, that I scarcely ever find you fel- lows at work when I come in? Well sir, replied Mike, It ' s on account of those rubber heels you wear. Miss Parrish— And then the knight ' s heart was filled with joy, for he saw by the wayside a beautiful damsel. Now you all know what a damsel is don ' t you? Ralph Johnson — Yes, teacher. — a small plum. Sorry

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A Negro ' s Prayer Oh Lord, give Brother Jones the eye of an eagle, that he may see sin from afar. Glue his ears to the Gospel telephone and connect him with the central skies. Illuminate his brow with a brightness hat will make the fires of hell look like a tallow candle. Nail his hands to the gospel plow and bow his head in some lonesome valley whsre prayer is much wanted to be said, and anoint him all over with the kerosene oil of thy salvation and set him on fire. Too Late Frank Mathers to Photographer — I don ' t like those plates at all. I look like an ape. Photographer — Ycu should have thought of that before you had them taken. Phelix Nelson — Ed, what ' s your favorite wild game? Ed Rohr— Football. Polite Hint Mr. Gates — I say, do you ever play anything by request? Delighted Musician — Yes, certainly. Mr. Gates — Then I wonder if you would play dominoes until i finish my lunch. Mr. Borland — Was your garden a success this year? Mr. Lung — Very much so. My neighbor ' s chickens took first prize at the poultry show. Just Overhea rd Mr. Doyle (coming into office) — Good moning. Miss Treadwell, and what are you going to do? Miss Treadwell — Oh, I ' m going to keep house. Mr. Doyle — Oh! I didn ' t think you would take me up so quick. In Physiology Miss Emery — ' T mma, what are the three parts of the brain? Emma — Cerebrum, cerebellum and maeduUa oblongata. Miss Emery — Now are you all sure that you have them? Dale Wixson in History — Offices are given to men who are vacant. '

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-« » M WOMEN When Eve was full of woe, Adam called her Woeman. But when she began to woo him he called her Wooman. Now men have so many whims that they call them Whimen. A LATIN POEM (Found in some one ' s Caeser bo ok.. Lightibus outibus in parlorum, Boyibus kissibus sweet girlorum; Dad ' bus hearibus louda smakorum, Comibus quickibus witha cluborum Givibus boyibus harda spankorum; Boyibus landibus cuta the doorum, Getibus upibus witha limporum, Swearibus kissibus girli nomorum. A mother entering her boy into a new school said: Little Frankie he is so delicate, und so if he iss badt — und he wall be badt sometimes — joost lick the boy next to him, und dat will frighten him. Phelix: We had a contest to see who was the prettiest girl in the Senior class. Marcia: How did it come out? Phelix: One girl got two votes. Mrs. Greenwell: Why don ' t ycu wear your calico dress any more? Dorothy: Oh, I just hate to see myself in print. SO BE IT Cotnposed by a Freshman Poet Am she gone Or is she went Has she left me all alone Will she never come back to I ? Or I ever go back to she ? It cannot was. SIGN AT OCCULIST P— X — Y — O — Q N — R — Z — S — I Dr.: Can you read that? Y — B — O — E — T Dale Laughead: Sure, but I can ' t pro- nounce it.