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Page 165 text:
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MUCH STUDYING 0 ' HEAT, DRINK, AND BE e iterate n 1 est STUDENT WELFARE MQRROW WE DIE VOL. I ZANDER HTGH SCHOOL, CHARLOTTE, N. C., MARCH 10, 1922 No. 000 UTWELFTH NIGHT CHARLOTTE HIGH WINS POLO GIRLS' CLUB HAS INTERESTING l TOURNAMENT MEETING QVVith apologies to no oneb They were twins, and hall been so since thfv were very small, although they could not help it. They were as alike as two bits phvsically, but mentally they were as far apart as Il Scrulxwoman anrl a flappe1'. The Simp was romantic, antic, sympa' thetlc, and trustful. The Slicker was cunning. strategic, and Slick. His motto waS 'Lslick before you slip. Their main trouble was Lucy Furr, a daughter of the idle rich. She believed love nowadays should be full of romance, as in the days of yore. fYore what? I clon't know. Your ancestors, I guess? Now Lucy had been sixteen for practically eighteen years: so she was well versed in how tovman-handle men. Une more thing now. and we will have all that is needed for a story of a young girl's love. This thing is: There had been a recl rose famine in the fair country wherein these characters of ours existed. and now, at the time of the nineteenth coming-out party of Lucy, there was not one of her favorite flower fthe re-rl rose? to be had. Here was a situation full of romantic possibilities, and Lu:y's peace of mind wasA at once disturbed by queer flutterings, which finally ended in a scheme to catch one of oux' twin heroes in a way Creclitalmle to Cleopatra. The outcome- of the mtrain on her mentality was the invitation iprimecl belowk, a copy of which was sent to the Simp anal a duplicate to the Slicker. Mr. Simp Pull:-Your presents are Ve- quested at the annual coming-out party of Miss Lucy Furr. My hand anal fortune go to the one who brings me the rerlclest rose. fRerl rose, not nose-.J LUCY FURR The Simp received his invitation joyous- ly, and danced with ecstacy. The Slicker read his invitation once, and then tossed it to the table with the re- mark: Tl1at'S funnyg she wants :L rerl rose when the white one-5 are the only ones to be had. Oh well, that fortune of hers is worth trying for, The Simp, being romantic, dreamed in the night of a wonderful solution to the prolllem, a Solution that would be I'Ulll21ll4 ti: as any ulrlen lleeml. Next llay, which was the 1lay before the party, he pro- ceeded to carry out the plan of which he had clreamewl. He first procured 21 pan, thpn a knife, and carefully lfor' fear he mlgllt cut his Z-Ll'Yll off! he cut into his arm and caught what blood came into the pan, Then, ever so quickly, he dipped ll white rose in the blood aml, when it was sufficiently rerlclenell, he put it in ll case of rosewoorl. Thinking it to be still more romantic. he thought that it would be best not to open the case until the con- tents might greet the eyes of his lady love, All, he sighed, I will win her, for I am prepared. But the Slicker had also thought of Z1 solution, and that solution wasi-recl ink, the rerlzlest ink that could be fouml. Ah, ha, he thought, that ought to slick'er. The next night, after the Quests haul marched into the banquet-hall, and each han eaten his or her Eskimo pie. Lucy beckoned to the twins, and dutifully they Atlanta, Ga, CSpecial to The Illiterate Inrligest J-Charlotte High School took first place in the annual polo tournament held here, in which many Southern high schools participated. The star player for Charlotte was .Xbllot Fraser. Without his splendid generalship, the team would have been absolutely helpless. He was ably supported by little Mary l':l'lVV2if1'lS, The higlm aml graceful jumping of Susie Plum- mer aml the Apollo-looking Martin Lee Black was a very spectacular feature of the game. Klu:h credit for the victory goes to the heavyweight champions, liliza- beth Geiger and Hal Kemp. DELIGHTFUL LUNCHEON HELD One of the most delightful affairs of the season was the charming Six-course soup luncheon which was held in the vlining salon cle luxe of the magnificent edifice of the Zanrler High School. During the fantastically served luncheon, music was renrlerefl lay the guests, with the :url of llot soup anfl cold anx Phe :hief feature of the occasion was the en- tertaining amusement of flipping soup crackers. Finally, after this had been enjoyed for some time, much to the sor- rnw of the guests 21 bell tollerl the knell of parting time, anll the luncheon came to an enll. Ulu! l fm-gn! to say this took place at recess! followed her out onto the lawn and into the moonlight. Which of you, she cried. hai Z1 rexl rose for me? Cry nu more, fair one, quoth the Simp, l have it g :mel he drew forth the case, anll opened it with a flourish, or il screwdriver ll've forgotten whichl. But, alas! The luloofl-stained rose was the color ot' dry lalooel-brown! Ol1! she Criell, as she rose, l shall have no fell rose. You rose too soon, Lucy, saiml the Slicker, I have a red rose. l am yours, yelled Lucy as she fell into his arms. They were married there ly the Sinm, whom we shall make ll ve-11ience's sake. z1n4l, as figuring up lmw much lrttlc' Ilan fulfill spake, slick'e1' ? preacher fm' cvn- tlxe Slicker started he had lnarriell, VVell. lliwln't he Notes There has been muglw why this play was called lt is ge-nerallv conceded that Ll guy as slick as the Slickc-1' could be slick enough to have both l,ncy's money and u divorce lvv the Twelfth night after their lllZll'l'lIlgE. llence the name. conjecture as to Twelfth Night. More Notes VVl1en first promlucecl, the play ran for rather the players ranj three miles before they succeeded m escaping the ZllllllEllCC'. Even More Notes The author would not let his name llc known, because of the fact that so many people would not believe that such Z1 won- flerful play was ever written by him, A. NUTT, '22 The Girls' High School Clulm met fm' its regular meeting last Thursday after- noon. The opening sung was Hail, llzlil, the Gang s .Xll Here, with numerous juzv variations. Lillian johnson, our presirlent, had charge Of the meeting. She was wonrler- fully clmrlning in 21 black sport costume, trimmed with cerise annl old gold lmraisl. Vlfith much fervor she read for ue- The Flflppers' Creed. llargaret Henderson, our former presi- dent. radiant in an evening frock of bright fell crepe, uniquely trimmed with clusters of purple grapes, read ua an interesting anrl practical paper on VVl1y lt Is Neces- sary for Club Girls to Blake Llp. ,lean Crowell, in a garnet anml green afternoon frock, gave us Z1 helpful talk on The .Xrt of Using the Lipstick and Eye- brow Pencil, lluring the intermission which followewl, Marie llagooml entertained ua with an Egyptian snake flance. ller costume was effective anrl becoming, being of vivid yel- low taffeta. piped with fell, and covers-Ll with bpzlngles. ller jade bracelets and anklets gave il realistic touch. .Xfter the intermission, wc had the most important part of our lvrugram, in the talk which Bliss Marion llullley, our Girls' VVu1'k Secretary, gave on the timely sulu- ject of Huw to Patch a Millionaire Hur-- llzmllf' This inspiring talk close-rl the 11111- gram, zxnzl we took up the current business uf the clulx. Miss llncllsy reminded H1056 wlm were trying for the ring, annl haul not read the copies of l-xyllll Hang ahe- lmacl picked nut, that the time was short, anrl they must hurry if they wished credit. Nancy .Xlexanmler then came forward with the pitiful case uf a worthy family which was struggling for existence un the mere pittglnce of Efi1l'l,00fJ il year. 'lille llZl.l'4l' working father was in great need of ll new evening suit. The wife and three little girls had nn party frocks. lt brought tears to nur eyes to think of anyone no destitute, and we all resolved to :lu some- thing fm' this newly family. .Xfter all business had been disposed of. the Service Committee had charge of the sumptuous lranmluet To which Miss llmlley had invited to be our guests the players of Keithk Yaulleville 1n'ug1'zun fm' the lzlt' tm' lrzlrl uf tlle week. Louisa Duls and llelen lizmline en' ltl'l2tlllt'4l us :luring this. time as fllll'lC5C 5i11g-slung girls. Their costumes were gor- genua, anal they gave us 21 pleasing nnll VJ1l'lE4l repertoire ul' songs anal clanses, HEARD CLASS Bliss -If-nie is lliagraming Zl sentence on tlw lmoard. Nluumle R. 'WlllCTC dues l cmne in. Miss Jessie- IS Corning. Sarah .Mlelaimle Mayer fat lmanket-hull giunel. VVhu's that little guard? VVill Orr fsamc 1-lace!- His name is Sclliltzg llc-'ll be our lxest man next year. Szlrzlh ,Xclelaimle flmlnshinglz Oh, VVillg 'ln you really mean it? Clma. Clegg f--- Can il lmersam ln: pun' islxefl fur aometlling he llllhllll dune? Blisr. Fannie- Certainly not. C'l1zu'lesf-- Well, l l1aven't done my geometry.
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Page 164 text:
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ANNUAL STAFF-BEFORE THE WoRK BEGAN If anyone should ask the cost of this annual, you may tell him that SNIPS AND CUTS, Volume XIII, cost one case of complete insanity, three nervous breakdowns, five threats of suicide, the loss of one hundred pounds in weight, a month or sleepless nights, innumerable brainstorms. and about two thousand dollars and a few sense. l 1 -AFTER THE ANNUAL WAS SENT TO Pmzss
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Page 166 text:
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2 THE ILLITERATE INDIGEST Thursday, March 10, 1922 THE ILLITERATE INDIGEST Published Spasmodically by the Boneheads of Zander High School i V V PHE BONEHEADS 1 t . p llll'l'X l7llJDX DULS ..,......................................,...., .,,,..,. I Lditor-in-Chief ,lUl.l,Y .LXXVN HEBERT .. ,,,,,,, Associate Editor M.XlllJlli l'l.XYXNi0UD ,,,,,,,,,,, ,.,,, B Ianaging Editor HIQS KUTIC MOURE .,..,.......... ...... ,,,,,,,,,,,, F a culty .Xdviser Assistant Boneheads Reporters li.Xlll El.l2l'l'l.XNT McC'Ll'NC l -xl XRTIY VFRYFPI XL-K . . , . . Alfl'leffCS iiifi rx' sxiiniyifli l.l,flt lxX lilll,l, l,.X5l,ll'. j Pluyuu-PALvllINI,: UVVEN SIRXIDI-I .XILXMS NURTY NANCY Al,lCX.XNl'Jl2R liRR.X'l'lt' lilJl'l'll tilI,f.'llRlST .,.. Social R.X'l l'l,li1JRUTH'I'RUl2Sl7l2l.l. RUBY MlI,I.l'IR . Y . ,, , Y - .,,.,.., .. ' H4 Sll.l.X' sw: cirxmiixx ,,,,.,,.,.A, icxt-lunge NWN 40llHsXN - Jumor 1 I MANAGEMENT ,lf ill 1If.XY-lil' ,lf lxlfS .....,,..,....,....,.,.,,,,,.,,...,,,,,...,,,A,.AAA,,,A,,,,A,,.,.A, Business Manager Qlilahtlgli .XQUS Hltlrla .. .,........,,,,,.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, A,.,,, X dvertising Manager 11219 lil:NNI:'I 1' .v....,, .... ......, C ' irculation Manager, -lunior High School S1-35 PW' YSIH' 7 Cents l'er tiopy A MENACING EVIL There is a state of affairs now existing in Charlotte lligh F-:hoc-l which has long been a source of much worry to us. We realize the grave duty that rests on ou shoulders as editors: we realize the tremendous influence that we have over the opinions and actions of the student-bodyg we realize that we can. through the editorial columns of this paper, sway the tide of student thoughtg we realize that it is our solemn duty therefore to condemn all prevalent evils. But the delicateness of this particular situation, and the sniallness of our vocabulary, has heretofore hindered us. and rendered us incapable of doing our duty .,... X few minutes ago we were suddenly stricken with the divine afflatus. XVe snatched up a piece of paper, and began to set down our thoughts. llerc is what we wrote: ln all of the categories of human foibles there is nothing so insidious in its nature and so damaging to the character of a high school student as the habit of studying. Many promising youths and maidens have had their careers ruined, and been doomed to spend their lives in an insane asylum or the pedagogical profession for the simple reason that they fell into the habit of perusing profound books and indulging in recondite ratiocinations. Indeed, when we pass through the silent corridors of Char- lotte High School at about 8.30 a. in., and peer into the open doors, and see the young manhood and woinanhood of Charlotte bent ci-.ver open books, wasting all of their pristine vigor in the meticulous search for knowledge: when we see this, our soul is chilled within us, and we are. for the moment, cast into the plumbless depth of an abject pessimism, Fellow students, something must be done! Such a situation should not be allowed to exist. .X little studying is all rightg it will probably leave no permanent effects. But Continued studying is undoubtedly harmful, and is 21 grave menace to the welfare of our school. In spite of the enticing appearance of a page of Caesar's Gallic Wars, or a problem in simultaneous quadratic equations, we must not allow ourselves to study. We must firmly resolve that we will follow the straight and narrow way, and abstain, at all times, from studying. ll ll ll WHAT 1: 2 ELECTRICITY 3 I: MEANS TO YOU ll I ll ll You can't have a comfortable home today without electricityg and if your home is thoroughly modern, cleanly, and comfortable, you use electricity not 4, :I merely for lights but for cleaning, washing, sewing, and various other things. 3 ll Electricity is a conservator of human energy. When electrical appliances ll 1: enter a home, that tired feeling is no longer complained of by the mother. li There is an electrical appliance for practically every household duty. ig Il 0 Look them over at our display room. ll ll SOUTHERN ll ll PUBLIC ll ll UTILITIES ll :l COMPANY Q l oi!1limiImuuuniiiuniulimiIumummiiIinumminuinumiIInummiiImiImmIIImiInmIununmmnuilllullullllunrozo The Man Who Made Good . s .Xsk the successful man how he Q 2 got his start, and you will nearly Q always find that in his youth hc 2 2 learned the importance of thrift. 2 2 lle worked and saved, and when E E opportunity came his way he had E 2 the capital necessary to take ad- 5 E vantage of it. U 3 Success breeds surcess. The man E Q who has a little money to invest 5 ' always tmds ways to make his cap- E 2 ital grow. Be ready for your op- 2 5 poitunity when it comes. Start Z1 E 2 sa.ii es account now. E Il The Independence B Trust Company f- S E 5 Four per Cent. Interest paid on Deposits E g E Z CHARLOTTE, N. C. Z O ' :Q nnIiiiInuInuiiiiinniiii.zuiinInIImiiiIIuiniIimiiiiiuiiimniiiluniinuiiiiniiiiniiiIunu:muIluuiiIuiniuvnlinluiillii9 4 E A PERFECT DAY IN SCHOOL 'lille beginning of a new school week is always a nightmare. To the inhabitants, it means another day with zeros, and to the teachers, four classes whose knowledge is nil. Well, as far as bad behavior is concerned, you would never know there was such a phrase or an action at Char- lotte lligh School on any Monday. Last Monday, however, was a little better than the ordinary. The reasons are unaccount- able, but the fact remains, just the same. VVhen the 8,30 bell pealed forth the hour for study period, everyone went to his room and quietly studied, Not a single person stopped in the halls to talk. At nine o'clock, every single student of our school was present, and not one arrived late. The order during the day continued. Mr. Penny's second period biology class had a perfect recitation, and Mr. Penny himself spoke not a word. Miss Horne's fifth-period French class did not utter a sound: everyone refused to talk. Ralph Truesdell studied in his history study period. and Guy Myers actually remained in Miss Chalmers' room one whole period. .Xt luncheon time the conduct improved. if improvement were possible. As usual f?J, no one ran to the cafeteria: every man took his place in line, and patiently waited until he reached the counters. Not a soul requested another to buy his lunch for hiin, and, as for pushing. well everyi body knows the students of Zander Hi wouldn't think of doing such a thing as that. O yes! The pupils condescended to go to their classes on time, and everyone arrived just when he should. The re- mainder of the day was as blissful as ever. The sound of the liberty bell denoted the end of the struggle. and everyone im- mediately hurried home. Thus endeth a perfect day. Uh! l forgot! The illustrious editr6SS of our school publications came to our school home with powdered nose, puffed hair, and tcan you believe it?l a vanity case in her band. Fusloiner: ls this well -water? Clerk: Does it look sick! -
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