Alderson Broaddus College - Battler Yearbook (Philippi, WV)

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MW Eq vs THE BOARDWALK L lllIlIlllIlh ll ' - llllIllllllllllll llnllxulll ummm Oshkosh Daily News announces: Are you in love? Are there ditiiculties which arise, threatening to overshadow and dispel all happiness? Are you in love with five men at the same time? Did your sweetheart remember you with a picture post-card for Christmas? Are you pining away or eating your heart out? VVrite to Miss Frankie Lee Holland, whose uncanny understanding will make all life one rosy dream. Ashtabula Qohiol Sentinel: lVIatron Enola Spitzenbarger announces that the crime wave has abated. Under her careful management but l0o,000,000,0oo delinquents are now under guard. Can You Imagine? Inez in love? Hugh not arguing? Annual Staff working? Professor Goofus on time? Jess Poe swearing? Marguerite Forbell enthusiastic? Lois not in love? Culpepper in a bad humor? Charlie Ball smoking? Roy on Campus? Mae without Maybelliiie? 68

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'I THE BOARDWALK re f,,,,i . ,,,f Vruy K Yfrr Z Y Nh f ,tx nIululililulliWqiM1liliiiWZy5uu X un , llllllllllll I Hon. Hugh Moore Smith, ex-Prosecuting Attorney of Fayette County, has formally announced his candidacy on the Republican ticket for Governor of West Virginia. There are prospects for one of the most exciting and contested campaigns in years, as both Democratic and Republican candidates are of strong characters and have enthusiastic followings throughout the State. New York Herald, june 18, 1940. Taken from the Society columns: Mrs, Lois liyrnside Lilly, who was at the Polo Grounds yesterday to see her husband, NI. S. Lilly, smack out his first home run of the season, returned to her home today at Madison, VVest Virginia. NVith a feeling of intense interest and sympathy we read the following: Mr. A. Hovey lVIcClung, a traveling salesman, formerly of this city, was arrested at Charleston, South Carolina, charged with having moonshine in his possession. Upon investigation it was found that the liquid thought to be moonshine was a harmless hair tonic. Mr. McClung was released with apologies from the authorities. Pocahontas Times, January 7, 1940: Two dollars and ninety-eight cS2.98l cents reward for the return of a .303 high-power Savage rifle to Ruckman Deitz, a citizen of Mt. Lookout, Nichols County. The gun was lost somewhere between VVilliams River and Bill's Ranch. Editor's note: Mr. Deitz was chased Qinj last Friday unceremoniously by a ferocious grizzly and lost his gun in the race. From the Chattanooga News, February 21, 1940: Miss Meryl Thomas, National Secretary of Students' Y. VV. C. A., has recently written a large number of pamphlets giving full information as to thelfpurpose of tlfilg Y. W. C. A. and its functions. Anyone desiring one of the pamililets may send to 1682 Eleventh Avenue, Culpepah, Virginia 'five cents' or 'one nickel' with his and address. Eagerly we read when we see another taken from The Aldersonian: Mrs. Alta Woods Hill has entered her O., Jr., in the Alderson Baptist Academy and junior College, that he his inherited talent for singing properly cultivated. Calvin Creek VVeekly, June 1, 1940: M. W. McGee, YV. R. Shawver, R. H. McClung and J. A. Poe have just the 'Long Distance Hospital' on Cabin Creek. Though established only a few months, they report excellent progress, having already treated seven patients, only five of whom have died. The Monroe VVatchman: Carrosine Ballangee, a thriving dairyman of this County, has recently purchased thirty-two head of pure bred Jersey cows. The Normal, April 4, 1940: Miss Inez Belch, a maiden school teacher, has retired from active school life, and endows the 'Club for the Extermination of Men' fifty thousand dollars. Forty-nine thousand and fifty dollars was given her by a relative. All the rest she has saved herself by habits of thrift and economical living for the past five years. La Critique, November, 1941: Madame La Champdivers, nee Kathryn Wikel, returned yesterday from Monte Carlo, where ostensibly she has been gathering at close range material for a new novel to be entitled 'Successful lVIethods.' The public eagerly awaits another work, written in her usual brilliant yet blase manner. Mme. Champdivers, with Henry James, says that she cannot write of things she has not experienced. VVith astonishment we read: Theater, April, 1940. The premiere danseuse, Margarita Forbalierre, at whose feet all Europe has worshipped since the beginning of her continental tour, has sailed for the United States, where she will go to Alderson, VVest Virginia, in search of inspiration, as Paris has proved something of a bore to the delicately atuned, artistic temperament. 67

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wr, sw xi, THE BOARDWALK lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllla 'H IT llllllllllIl J IMIAMMA, MAKE 'EM DoN'T Lemme? VVhy not? H an Aw, cantcha take a joke ? Good night! il' ill' -ll- H 'IQHINGS THAT NEVER HAPPEN Gladys Iwiller unprepared. Boss with his English notebook. Irene jones with dignity. Otis at class on time. Helen Fry Hirting. 'I' 'X' it Hugh: I would rather have a C or than a Ii. Honey: VVhy ? Hugh: I am afraid I'll get stung. D 'Pk ill' it Now, boys, I'd tell the story about crude oil, but it's not refined. ui an an Hooray! VVe get out tomorrow at 12:45. VVhat for? For dinner! 'I' il K Miss Bailey: Raise your hand, please. Charles fhand raisedl : I don't have anything to say. Miss Bailey: Fine, in we as Brains: I got zero on my Latin test. No Brains: That's nothing. Brains: What's nothing ? No Brains: Zero. okes jack: Pardon me for stepping on your hoofs. jill: That's all right, I walk on them myself. 'Il' 'lf 'TK' julia as Joke Editor: fjoke number 67,238J. O SOL Mio Light of my life, Iliazdaf' he whis- pered. Sole of my sole, Neolin, she re- plied. !! 'Ill' 'H Such a splendid fit, said the tailor, as the epileptic left his shop. an 4+ is Sky's blue, Oceans' hue, Horses' neck, I do, too. or 4 on Culpepah fin geometryl : Is my fig- ure all right ? Hugh Csagaciouslyj: Just a trifle thin, my dear. lk 'll' if The roughest date I ever had-a man with a tweed suit. -It -YF ili- Professor Cantrill gets a bargain! Two fifty-cent tickets for ninety- eight cents. CProfessor Stewart paid the differencel. 'IK' HE ik- Spring is here, said the monkey as he pointed to the back of his watch. 69