Alberta College - Aurora Borealis Yearbook (Edmonton, Alberta Canada)

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40 AURORA BOREALIS CHARACTERIZATION OF A COLLEGE WEEK Monday—General search for laundry slips. Tuesday—Inmates of the “Barn” evince great alarm, casting anxious glances towards the ceiling which rocks under the airy tread of the girls’ gym classes. Wednesday—“Charge of the flat iron brigade.” Thursday—Mysteryday. Hash, pudding camouflaged under whipped cream. Friday—The Five F’s: Fish, Freedom, Frolic, Frantic Fuss, and Fuming Faculty. Saturday—“Clean-up day” and “Sports day”. Sunday—Corn flakes, church, ham, quiet hour, walks, salmon, sing song, church and so to bed. SONNET To An Exam Paper O tomb of hope! O, father of despair! You hold me in your clutches. O, that I Should wiser be and know how to reply To all these questions. Ah! I can but glare At my weak scribbling. How can I bear To face my parents and to say that my Stupidity and indolence were by My hand to ruin me—An ill-begotten pair. A ray of hope appears amid the gathering mist —Examiners are sometimes kind, mayhap This one will kinder be and let me thru. Next year, then I shall work and get the gist Of this term’s work. Meanwhile I can but tap My scanty knowledge,—but it is askew! D. W. Hyndman giving abbreviations: “Dd t agt cm in et.” Meaning: “Did the agent come in yet.” Ham Operator: Receiving thinks he is asking about a train, answers: “No! but I can see his smoke, he’s coming around the bend.” + ! WATCHES JACKSON BROS. JEWELRY I | ! DIAMONDS SILVERWARE I Repairing of Jewelry and High Grade Watches 1 Our Specialty 9962 JASPER AVENUE ENGRAVERS Edmonton OPTICIANS

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AURORA BOREALIS 39 THE COMMERCIALS’ ENCYCLOPAEDIA 9 :00—The beginning of a day’s torture. Typewriting—Learning to hit keys. Shorthand—Something that keeps us awake all night. Correspondence—Every Monday, Wednesday and Fri¬ day (for some people every day). Theory Tests—Examinations for the purpose of show¬ ing us how little we know. Spelling—The Steno’s bugbear. Filing-Sitting two in a seat for a class period. An in¬ teresting class. Bookkeeping—The process of causing disorder in our brains. Penmanship—Something we can’t pass. Arithmetic—An unnecessary invention. 4 :00—The end of a day’s trouble. Dr. McCall—“Raymond, why are you so far behind in your studies?” Raymond—“So I can pursue them better.” K. Lord—“When is a hat not a hat?” Marg. Gaetz—“When it becomes a woman.” I think that College girls are more careful than other girls. They have to be—they’re watched more. Some of the boys in the “Barn” claim to have open minds, but it’s only a leak. Blair—“What is a pedestrian?” Armour—“A man whose wife has gone with the car. News Item—One man is knocked down by an automo¬ bile every ten minutes in Chicago. One would think it would wear him out. “I guess I’m all wet,” said Jim, as he stepped out of the shower. Mark Twain was called upon to speak at a club dinner and took for his theme, “Honesty”. He said, when he was a boy at home, he one day saw a cartful of melons. He was a boy—and he was tempted; besides he liked melons. “I sneaked up to that cart,” said Mark, “and I stole a melon. I went into an alley to devour it. But I had no sooner set my teeth into it than I paused; a strange feeling came over me. I came to a quick resolution. Firmly I walked up to that cart, placed the stolen melon where I got it from, and took a ripe one.”

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ALBERTA COLLEGE Co-Educational and Residential College Public and High School Courses Business and Music Founded 1903 Pleasant Surroundings The first unit of the new building offers classroom equip¬ ment and residence accommodation of the most desirable kind. Thorough Training Qualify for admission into the business world in an up-to- date and thoroughly equipped school. Cultural Opportunities Study music and expression under the most favorable condi¬ tions. Attend the recitals given in the College and in local churches and theatres. Edmonton audiences attract the most talented musicians that tour the west. Christian Environment Competent and experienced teachers of high moral prin¬ ciples and integrity are at your service. They are eager to instruct and direct you. Friendship and Memories Thousands of young men and women have secured their training at this College. Identify yourself with this large body of graduate students. You have to get your training somewhere. Take it where you can do so to the greatest advantage. New friends and new experiences await you here. You are welcome. Teachers Encourage your graduating students and the young men and women in your district to write for our Calendar. It contains full information regarding the courses offered and it is free for the asking. ALBERTA COLLEGE REV. F. S. McCALL, B.A., D.D., Principal 10041 101st Street Edmonton, Alberta