Agnes Irwin School - Last Strand Yearbook (Rosemont, PA)

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I M eirs, not knowing French, spntters, and sticking h-er head under the table replaces false teeth. Bean tactfully pats Tenney on the head, and tactfully sends her out with the children. M eirs reap1Q?r.rTdnd they comfmence tea. j BEAN: I saw Anna Walthour and Elizabeth Yardley at Rachellio's yesterday. They certainly do make stun- ning models, and Miss Fitler has a wonderful dress- making establishment. They have excellent taste. I bought this top-hat there. Isn't it a dream? MEIRS z I aside j Nightmare! BEAN: Anna and Elizabeth are the most attractive models in town, and my dear, such figures! MEIRS: I looking at her own shapeless forinj Bah! BEAN: They told me they had seen Hilda Tunis in a comic opera, Dream, Dreamy, Dreamier, Dreamiest Smilesf' They say the part suits her to perfection. It's all the craze. In the great scene she wanders about the stage, smiling serenely, with six cats at her heels. It's won- derful the magnetism she has for cats. But then she adores them. MEIRS: You don't say so! She's not the only famous one. Yesterday I bought the latest book written by Mar- jorie Paul Morris. Have you read it? It's called, How Lizzie lost her Soul. The authoress is said to suffer from melancholia. BEAN: Too bad. ME1Rs: And it's dedicated to our friend, Mary Scull. What's become of her, by the way? BEAN: Oh she has taken to making inventions. Her latest is how. to make cream turn sour. But I've had a quarrel with her, and so don't remind me of the horrid cat. I M eirs looks interestedj We know another authoress, Julia Hamp. She dashes madly from Denver to Philadelphia on the limited, and when she's not smoking, she writes articles on how to right the wrongs of the world. MEIRS: Who would believe it? I'll have to read some of them. To what magazine does she contribute? BEAN: The Pink Cauliflower, and, by the way, it is edited by Charlotte Fahnestock, who has made a great success of it. Before she became editor nobody read it, but her idea of giving a gold watch away with each copy has made the Cauliflower very popular. I heard that they aren't making it profitable because the watches are very expensive, and the paper is sold at only five cents a copy. But of course that doesn't make any dif- ference to Charlotte, and it has an enormous circulation. I do hope the company won't fail as I am reading a. most interesting series of articles they publish. Isabel Page writes them. One week it's on good manners.

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Mains: Clumsy beast! Don't you kno-w how to pour tea? I should think that one of your profession could cer- tainly do that. Why goodness gracious! It's Helene Martin! Where did you come from? How are you? MARTIN: I'm doing this to help Molly, who had a quarrel with her waiter, and consequently discharged him. I'm sorry I spilled your tea. MEIRSI Oh, being it's you, that's all right. I Enter Bean with children. j MEIRS: Why, 'pon my soul, it's Elinor Bean and her little Limas. I saw you passing by, and wondered who you were. BEAN: How do you do? I'm very glad to see you. darlings. I want you to I To children j Come here meet my friend, Miss Meirs. Anne, this is String, and here's Kidney, and the twins, Boston and Baked, Butter, Black, Scarlet Runner, Pole, Sugar, and I-Iaricot Vert. and curtsy. Meanwhile I The ten Beans bow Martin, wide-eyed, watches proceedings, but being sharply reprimanded, gets more tea. Bean seats her- self, while the little Beans climb, creep, twine, and crawl about.j MEIRS: ffixing her false teeth more firmly j My, but I'm glad to see you. Tell me what you've been doing with yourself, and how you happen to be here. BEAN: I came to see Molly, and find out how her Do- mestic Science ideas are working out. She talked so much about keeping house in her youth, that it's no wonder she's taken to inn-keeping. fMelodious strains from without. M eirs looks up crabbedly, her lower teeth flanking to the floor! MEIRS! That's Marcella Cerboni, as I'm. alive. Cerbonil How are you my dear? Why are you playing an ac- cordion on the street? I thought you were starring in opera. CERBONI: I do this for exercise, and give the proceeds to the poor. In the evening I sing opera. BEAN: Won't you come have a cup of tea? We'll have a. nice, cozy chat. CERBONI: No, thank you, I must take my constitutional without interruption. Come call on me sometime at the Marcia Reale Albergo. Goodbye. ' f Little Beans quarrel over some seed cake. Their nurse enters. 2 BEAN: Don't you remember Tenney? She's become a linguist, and is caring for my darlings. She teaches them Sanscrit. TENNEY: Bon jour, ma chere Annie. Comment vous portez-vous?

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I make the children learn those by heart. And the next week she tells how to be beautifulfiip until aftern the a e of nineteen. It's most interestin . g 8' MEIRS: Did you hear about Hansell Earle? She has been suing Leokowards Zacharewcz, the Polish actress, for daring to call herself the most beautiful woman on earth. I read all about it in the paper. Hansell always was a beauty. I hope she wins her suit. I Enter Frances Tyson with a cat in her arms and Kate Jayne in a brown gollatea costume of the Eliza- bethan period. They are arguing so violently that they seat themselves at a table without seeing Bean and M eirs, who listen attentively to the discussionj TYsoN: But Kate, do listen to reason. JAYNE: Reason? I never listen to reason! 'I'YsoN: I brushing catj You can't build that new theater at Manayunk, and an amphitheatre at Brown's-Mills-in- the-Pines, and start a new circus company all at once without mining yourself, your health, Anne Meirs, and me. JAYNE! fpeevishlyj Frances, please let me be. Am I not the most successful theatrical manager in the world? You might think from the way you talk to me, that I have no more common sense than a baby. TYsoN: fdrylyj At times, I believe you haven't. k vw- -1- , , JAYNE! Very well, if you're going to say nasty things I won't talk to you. I Martin brings in tea. Tyson and lane drink, each reading a paper in stony silence.j Mamas: fta Beanj They're at it again. Kate has another wonderful idea, but just watch her come down to earth. I had a talk with her on this very subject last night, and she thinks it's all practicable. BEAN! How does it happen you two are in it? MEIRS: We own a share in her business, and ever since she went in for theatrical work she has come around to our store for advice. BEAN: Your store? Mains: Yes, Tyson and I keep a store for fresh fruit, vegetables, and flowers, which we grow ourselves. She has horses and cats, and I have dogs and cockroaches for sale. It's great fun. Come see it some day. JAYNE : Frances. TvsoN: Yes. JAYNE: Don't let's fight. TYsoN: We're not Fighting. It's merely a debate. Ques- tion, can Kate Jayne do or not do what she wants? fHolding up cat.j Angel here shall decide.