Agawam High School - Sachem Yearbook (Agawam, MA)

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Mrs. Smith. Huh, very alarming! Marion ought to have had that when she was going to school. Mrs. Jones. That’s no dream. At Chicago, ‘‘The People’s Lecture Hall tonight, lectures for weight. Miss Katherine Otto speaks on ‘Laugh and Grow Fat’.” Mrs. Smith. Katherine who always said, “Oh feet, don’t fail me now.” Mrs. Jones. And, Mrs. Robert Rickert, nee Dorothy Munson, has now opened a hardware store. ” Mrs. Smith. That’s probably because she knows which kind of pans make the best food. Experience is a good teacher. Mrs. Jones. And look at this picture. Marceline Gosselin still a model for “Stillman’s Freckle Cream.” Oh, this is one! “Send for the Palmolive Soap Company beauty pamphlets on ‘How to Keep that School- boy Complexion,’ by Judson Hastings.” Mrs. Smith. I always did adore that “last rose of summer” on Jud’s cheeks. Mrs. Jones. Gordon Wallace has a shop in Paris. The paper says, “For Correct Harmony in Your Daily Apparel see the Wallace Collegian Shop.” Mrs. Smith. “Collegian”, you mean “collision.” Mrs. Jones. I guess the crash was too much for you. Thelma Gemme has opened an optical shop in Japan. See the slogan, “The Eyes Have It.” Mrs. Smith. I can see Thelma’s black lamps now. M; s. Jones. Oh, Anna King is stepping along. Listen, “For comfort in later years, go to the Wilbraham Old Ladies’ Home. For application blanks write to Anna King, Proprietress.” Mrs. Smith. How natural, Anna King and in Wilbraham — Ideal spot, all right. Mrs. Jones. Esther Stebbins is exchange manager at a home for con- valescents. Mrs. Smith. Heavens, didn’t she have her fill of exchanges? Mrs. Jones. Then Alfred Johnson. He holds the title of home-run king. He plays with New York Yankees. Mrs. Smith. I’ll bet Babe Ruth is wishing he was young again. Mrs. Jones. Just two more classmates, Anna DePhillips and Bar- bara Fruwirth. Both married. Mrs. Smith. Yes, I heard Barbara has quite a tribe of football play- ers to bring up. Mrs. Jones. Anna DePhillips is living a life of leisure. Mrs. Smith. Anna would look lovely reclining gently on a lounge and sipping amber tea. Mrs. Jones. Oh, don’t get dramatic! Here is some news of the teachers. Miss Smith and Miss Ward are in Greenland. Miss Ward is writing the history of the land and Miss Smith is surveying the land. Mr. Dacey has retired. Mr. Williams and Mrs. Williams have retired, too, and of course living happily ever after! Mrs. Smith. Oh! Mrs. Jones. Mr. Smith owns a prizefighting camp. Miss Phealan is [30]

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Mrs. Smith. And then. “Mary Bruso has opened a private school for girls. The course includes accuracy, trimness, and the advantage of being small.” Mrs. Jones. How like Mary! Well, so much for that. Now comes my news. Mrs. Smith. Goodness, yes! I can hardly wait. Mrs. Jones. Zella’s paper is quite a newsy piece. Mrs. Smith. Oh, naturally. Mrs. Jones. The theatre news is so exciting. Remember in those days how we adored Valentino, and then he died ? And remember his fa- mous picture, “The Sheik”? That is running again in New York. And who do you think is the hero? Mrs. Smith. I couldn’t guess. Mrs. Jones. Frank Consolati! Mrs. Smith. What! The class sheik, the world’s sheik? Who’d ever have dreamed it! Mrs. Jones. And — “The Vodka Theatre in Russia, Madame Vron- sky, nee Louise Shields, is taking up the fame of Nazimova. She stars in “the Girl You Can’t Forget!” Mrs. Smith. Louise always was dramatic. I’ll bet she’s doing fine. Mrs. Jones. And Cornelius Crowley has just graduated from Cecil De Mille’s Paramount School for Bashful Boys. And he is engaged. Mrs. Smith. It must have done him good, then. Oh, won’t he look grand walking up the aisle with a flower in his button-hole and a smile upon his face? Mrs. Jones. The last of the theatre news says the former Eunice Perrigo is now married to the great producer of “Exit Smiling” and is be- ing starred by her famous husband. Mrs. Smith. Well, exit the theatre. Mrs. Jones. Now for the music world. “Annette Letendre, known to the music world as Madame Hi See, is singing with the Very-Light Opera Company. Also Caroline Cascella has been promoted from piano player of the Garden Theatre of Springfield, to the Roxy Theatre of New York.” Mrs. Smith. Roxy Theatre! Three cheers for Caroline! Mrs. Jones. The rest are all here and there. Oh, listen! “On sale at your nearest news stand, ‘The Elastic Book of Snappy Jokes’ by Esther Pond. Get your edition today.” Mrs. Smith. Well, Esther would! Mrs. Jones. Under Washington news, “George Reynolds, Esq., has been appointed official barber to the House of Representatives.” Mrs. Smith. Well, I never thought he’d be a cut-up! Mrs. Jones. New York has two contributions. “The notorious Christine Wallace has opened a new night club on Broadway. It is opened to the public as ‘The Canon-Ball Cafe.’ And there’s also another grand opening. ‘Madame Ella’s Style Shoppe, Ella Gregory, Proprietress’.” Mrs. Smith. Cafe and Style Shops. Of all the class. Mrs. Jones. This one is funny. ‘‘The Wakefield Clock Works an- nounces the completion of the new up-to-date time clock. Strikes every five minutes.” [29]

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principal of Agawam’s new Junior High School. Mrs. Aldrich is estab- lished as the head of an orphan asylum. Miss Jauch has just been divorced by a famous American Polo Player. His name is withheld. He was granted his decree on the ground of foreign intervention in the way of conversation. Mrs. Smith. Pollez-vous, pollez-vous? Mrs. Jones. That’s new French to me. And Mr. Phelps. It’s so ex- citing. He defeated Hobby Jones, the great golf player! Mrs. Smith. Oh my, I’d like to see him swing that club! Mrs. Jones. That’s all there is. Mrs. Smith. I’m so excited. I just know when I go back in the house I’ll probably vacuum the stove and light up the carpet! Mrs. Jones. My work isn’t done either, but come over when you can and we’ll gossip as usual. Mrs. Smith. All right, I will. [Both leave stage.] zMs the (lass Wills Ladies and Gentlemen. Board of Education, Superintendent, Teach- ers, Pupils, and Friends — Only at the behest of my noble client, the illustrious class of 1928, of the Agawam High School, of the Town of Agawam, County of Hampden, Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I hereby present the foresaid client’s last will and testament. THE WILL: We, the class of 1928, in full possession of a sound mind, memory, and understanding, do draw up and publish this, our last will and testa- ment. As to such estate as our conscientious minds and sinewy arms have acquired, we do dispose of the same as follows: We give and bequeath — To the Town of Agawam, the knowledge that the class of 1928 will give renown, even fame, to the township. To Mr. Phelps, a new set of golf clubs so that he can beat Mrs. Phelps playing golf. To Mr. Williams, the other ring to go with the diamond Miss Hug- bee now has. To Miss Hutton, a covered waste basket. To Miss Perry, a health book, entitled “How to Avoid Scarlet Fever.” To Mr. Smith, a wig to replace the hair he pulled out at recent games. To Miss Haker, a canoe so she can paddle in her Pond. To Miss Smith, a set of Walter Camp’s Daily Dozen records so that she will not miss her morning walk on rainy days. To Mr. Dacey, a messenger boy to call back to clean their benches those sheiks who have to comb their hair before class. To M iss Mclntire, a pig pen so that she may have a place to keep the “Typewriting Mascot. ” hi]