Academy of Richmond County High School - Arc Yearbook (Augusta, GA)

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K. t ti xiii. i, -1 William Blitchington. the famous inventor. grafted a thimble into the pumpkin stem. and now any child can snuff the candle in a Jack-oil.antern by merely pushing the stem of the pumpkin until the thimble covers the flame. Sam Carstarphen is a paper doll manufacturer in Sanford. His bushy appear- ance is a compliment to all four. Once a week the society page carries the picture of Margaret Chapman who has been bitten by the society bug. since she moved to the high rent district. lt is said that she sleeps in an evening gown so that if she dreams of attending a social func- tion. she won't have to wake up to dress. Brainerd Currie is president of the Liberal Club of America. He likes to refer 1 to the courageous Idealism of Soviet Russia and prophesy the fate of Capitalism- America. Brainerd claims he cannot live in Russia because of the climate. f A'Woods Devereaux is the manager of a coffee-shop. whose slogan is: Use less sugar and stir like H-3 we don't mind the noise. Henry Drost. local manager of the A. S P. Tea Stores was recently hit by a A coal truck while delivering a basket of eggs. The eggs are expected to live. ' Nancy Fitzgerald has married a mind reader. He comes home often for a rest. ,l Neal Franklin is designing new type Zeppelin hangars in Akron. Ohio. The idea came to him while watching his wife. Alice Patche. yawn. Frances Forney has become a noted poet, A sample of her ingenuity is: Give me a sentence Ikey Said the teacher to the boy- ln which you use the word twopence. ' ' And Ikey said, Oi, Oi- F' 'ly Some bendits held mine fader up 'jj, Und den began to shoot 'jg Und dot's Yot's why he's lucky - He's got a twopence suit. 1 Heres mud in your eye. said Josephine Fry. the beauty specialist. as she , slapped the clay pack on Queen Maries face. -A Scotty Fulton, who was practicing medicine in Glasgow. has changed to the ' sugar manufacturing business when he became informed of his diabetic condition. 1. Ah. hal cried the villain. as he sneercd at his helpless victim. I am going to 5 throw you to my ferocious man-eating shark. But our hero just laughed and Zi laughed. 'cause h-e knew no man-eating shark would touch him. He was Robert Garrett. Agnes Gay has gone crazy trying to kill a cock-roach with a polo-mallet. Anna Goodwin and Sarah Traylor. former cheer leaders. are now train callers at .Q the Union Station. They are being assisted by Hobdir Indred. a Russian. who has -1 not yet learned the English tongue. Claire Graham is demonstrating electric corsets which are now very popular. ,c Her sales argument is: Down with the LORDOSIS Curvef' Mary Haggerty is editing a column in the Savannah Hawkeye. called Things . I Never Knew Till Now. X. This is some of the junk she writes: ', 'tThat Mahatma Ghandi did not win the title of Miss America. it 'i r 1 That writing a publication such as this is a darn nuisance. 1 .' Agnes Halford is elephant hunting in Africa. When she landed at Cairo. all y . the elephants broke out in a cold sweat. - Frank Harris is the wrestling coach at Brfenau. Here is his testimonial for the yi Strongfort Correspondence School: Two years ago I was a puny 97-pound weakling. ,-' and the boys teased me because l couldn't lift a copy of the Saturday Evrening Post. . J But since taking your course, I have become the 'Worlds Most Perflect Man' and l ' -i am able to open the windows on a street car. t Rudolph Heath is now selling patent medicines. and pink pills for pale people. U Margaret Heffernan and her gigolo are touring Europe. Ruth Hill is chemistry professor at California and is famous for her discovery .LT ,,tr'Q,w:.,,-0' .... ..- ---x.av.J'Nsagq1,N QR . NYT. 'in 'I' T s W' ' ' +1 'L' ' f e55:iusiI3i?:u.l3fcs'7lwiTt -e l 9' .5 -i ,'ftgf,:3:f.F1-1.-,.fi rf' .fo Qty bln., Y, I-'A as -AW ...vi I Twenty-Three

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,. 4 'vii .wi'fi'iw ' ' . it uv. mvuntlt-A 1, i '...'. ' 1 Class Prophecy f i xi ' Last Tuesday afternoon. we entered Mr. Talleyis laboratory with the intention of f explaining our cuts from his class. The room was piled high with mysterious- I looking apparatus and criss-crossed with complicated wire systems. A giant dynamo. ' .' sitting in one corner. was filling the room with the hum of its throbbing transformer. il'-I' and huge sparks. feet in length. were being sent out by the gyroscopic induction coils. , ' I Mr. Talley was perched gracefully on a table. munching a tender pink mushroom A 'h and scratching his right ear. Q Said he: By means of this intricate mechanism which is based upon the theory li. that time is the fourth dimension, it is possible to regress to the past or progress into Q., T the future. Now. watch. lim going to regulate it for 1952. and we will see who will K'-,ti then be in this room. He threw a switch. a dim light flickered on a screen and fy grew brighter. and in a few moments we were able to recognize the face of Mr. 'Ri' Talley. But what a wreck had time and toil made of this 'ghandsornei' man! But i.-.N did he care?-Noi-He seemed serenely unhampered by the mocking inhibitions of a 'V T repressed soul seeking triumphant expression through the masquerade of pseudo- i 1 realism in the suave juxtaposition of plane upon counterplane. Was he not laboring fi' night and day for the interest of science and humanity? He was perfecting the V Talley-Ho perpetual motion peanut grinder. His long. sensitive fingers. the fin- ' gers of a scientist and dreamer. toyed with the skull of a midget which served him as paper weight. Suddenly. out of a dim aperture in the wall. in staggered Frances , Garten. Mr. Talley exchanged a quizzical glance with the midget, fitted it into an i 1 ivory holder and lit it abstractedly. i ,I Suddenly Frances espied us and mumbled incoherently. We gasped, What are il y you doing here? and she answered jerkingly. l am the new Physics: teacher. Yes, Vi. a teacher! Picking up my tired feet. l hurried to the office of President Bill Hardy. A l . pleasant smile played around the corners of his desk and his eyes crinkled at the cor- ners of the room. He offered me a job and pressed one of the buttons on his vest. in-1' Immediately Dean James Skinner. Jr.. came in. 'Take this young lady to the .A ', Physics departmentf he ordered. 'Oh. by the way. have you found quarters yet? ifg No? l.et me seefyou had better use these for the time beingf He handed me a roll of quarters and stood up. l attempted to thank him but my fingers were all Q' 15 thumbs. Hardy rubbed a blue and freshly-shaven cheek against his shoulder and CL' returned it to his coat-pocket. 131 During our subsequent conversation. Frances Garten told us that she had just re- i4 it turned from a meeting of the class of '32 and that she, being the secretary, had a record of each member. The list was as follows: ily Margaret Alston is the author of a book Children Made Wiser. ln this she fl H' includes all those principles which she defended so vociferously. ' ig Agnes Armstrong. dean of women at J. C. A.. after reading that A little knowl- f.,'.', edge is a dangerous thingii installed a standard uniform for Co-Eds. Eleanor Beardren has just been fired from the position of teacher of psychology 5' V. at West Point. as a result of remarking. Now l shall illustrate what l have in lf' mind. and erasing the blackboard. ti Nl Niilawster is in the bawthf' stated the impeccable manservant. sidehurns curling if. slightly in scorn at my lavender shifting. Claring at him with my baby blue eyes, tl, l snapped. Announce me. He went over and tapped on the bathroom door. At if that moment his master emerged. He was freshly tubbed and shaved. llis hair was til as slick as a seal and his mustache glistened like twin bayonets in the morning sun. 'xiii His dressing gown showed lilies sprent. fair roses richly interblent with honeysuckle --ii overlaced and cowslips in the corner placedf, Hello, I said. and offering a cig- fd arette. Keep Kissable. He laughed appreciably. while buttering a piece of toast 'tl and dropping a fried egg. Pulling out a handsome hand-tooled leather notebook 1 and humming an aria t Aria Coming Out Tonight Mah Lindy Lou. if my memory -I serves me right.t I asked. To what do you attribute your success in the movies, Nlr. Blanchard. X, 1 . -.Wu V I . ,, . . ' lt Lv., , , - ,.,,,, J . , , , 'liihl 1 -v 1-5 2 j't.'fTfTr,.,g,-Q-71.3. Twenty-Tun

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W, . -P fr s - iii'-tltigfiig into it tlxnoxx digg, + 1 W A -... ,4- of nitro-methyl-diamino-bi-phenyl-hydroxy-benzyl acetate. Margaret Holland. research worker in Etymology, discovered that the principal part of the verb drink are: drink. drank. drunk. expelled. Maudie Mae Jarrel. can he seen at any time behind bars in a padded cell pick- inff microbes off spiders legs. Mary Kemp and Carolyn Swint are co-authors of the Pulitzer Prize Novel for 1901 'Pink Elephants l Have Met. The following is an extract from the first chiptel Omar Schmaltz rode gaily down the street on his velocipede. blithely strum- ming his zither. 'Heyy Omarf' called his friend Joe Grad. 'who was that lady I 'iseenw you with last night?' 'Puleezelf shrieked Umar.. jangling the strings and throwing hi clutch into free feeling. that wasn't a scene, that was an act! ' and smiling, the box fell dead. L eitrude Kitchens is manufacturing Sylpho for the Shylock Reducing System. Their logan is Lose a pound of flesh. Bob Lamar is going to open a mammoth laundry in Creenscut. President Al Smith Jr.. has been invited down to rip off the first button. Jack Levy operates a de-luxe barber shop, and now shaves every week or two. Sarah Mallard was married to her seventh husband recently. She talked the other iv to death. Mattie Lon Grimaud manufactures the Legless Bed for old maids who are afraid of finding a man under it. Jacqueline Marshall. the naturalist, has written a book entitled Dumb Animals I H ive Met and dedicated it to her husband. -Xlice Morgan has finally devised a means by which one can pass math. Her ad- vice 1 not poison the professor. because his assistant might give the exam insteadg but P01 on the professoifs wife and he will give you an :X out of sheer gratitude. lois Moses in a recent intelligence test. found that college students are superior in intelligence to Mongolian Morons. X11 advertisement in yesterdays paper carried this Girish Maiden. height 6 ft. 4 u wt 96 lbs.. glossy black hair at present. curly. white teeth, upper and lower, cost NZw 00 and tiny eyes and lips. Has 510, 000. 00 of her own and about 520,000.00 of other peoples. Talks baby talk if desired and looks cute in a kitchen while making water melon omelets. Bites her fingernails. which is very economical as she doesn't hare to have manicures. Object matrimony. Anyone interested write to Miss Margaret Moyef' Sam Mcflrearyz now a retired millionaire. made his fortune by operating a speak- east next door to the Medical College. I lewellyn Gibson holds a responsible position as official linguist for the United State Uoverninent. All foreign correspondence must go through her office. Fred Mull is the owner of the largest dairy in Blythe. The seventh of his ten famou rules is: Do not adulterate milk. Howard Mr-Uinty. noted surgeon. was heard to remark, L'The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Doris Nowell. the second Garbo. is much envied for her poise. it is said that he isnt upset even when caught eating Hot Dogs. Ophelia Ponder is an entertainer in a New York Night Club. She once said They laughed when I said l could tell a joke. but they threw me out when l told itf' Katherine Roe-ssler is now chasing radio-announcers with the same vim and two: with which she formerly chased football-players. Regina Richards was a dog-catcher in Memphis until she went insane. She wa then sent to South Carolina to teach school. Leopold Schneider is in the poorhouse after attempting to sell electric toasters in the breadlines. Xmelia Sheftall. noted veterinarian. is doing research work on the Treponima PdiilfilllIXl in cows. Mary Sheppard is in Spain studying Spanish literature. While there, she dis- .-'- ---- , . f.:1f 'T T '1 L' . ca L A iw .i I 'P If 2 .?,fQ o:'.w.'wam:o2. tt- 8r.r,,..1-2 1 vn,,fs,' ri Tnselillv-F our