Abington Friends School - Outward Bound Yearbook (Jenkintown, PA)

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Prophecy but after my first patient died, I quit. Elinor, you finished nurses' training and were rewarded for your efforts by being elected 'Miss Pill-Giver of l955'. Oh, yes, I remember, that was the year I married a doctor and began raising little 'Pill-Givers? You know where I began my ex- perience as a nurse? says Elinor. Giving bed- baths in Home Nursing at A. F. S. Here she is interrupted by a strange sound. c'Gwen Mable, do you think that's appropriate for this climate? inquires Elinor as she puts another hot dog over the fire. This is neither the time nor the place for playing a harp. Thatls what people do when they go the other way. What's this place coming to? I'm sorry to disturb you, Elinor, but I'm still trying to help Helene stay in tune. She never could sing on key, but at least she was original. Helene can sing some notes that Mozart hasn't even heard aboutf' But Gwen points out that she didn't teach Helene the fine arts of music all the time. When she wasn't helping her, she would be out at the Phillies ball park. It was my ambition to teach Del Ennis how to appreciate a curve at a piano. But Helene took up most of my time. When Helene Wasn't practicing scales, she would manufacture argyles with Dottie. You bet, replies Dottie, as she puts a marshmallow on the end of her pitch-fork. We were the best in the business. It grew so large that we had to form a knitters' union, L. Lewis was the president. VVe started a lot of new uses for argyles. Our biggest invention was argyle diapers. Down here there is no need for them as the cli- mate's too hot. Itls even too warm for this red devills suit I knitted. Cn earth, our biggest user of argyle diapers was Stefannie. She certainly did fulfill her ambition of being a mother. I sure did, replies Stef as she stokes the fire. When I left A. F. S., I had no one to pyschoanalyze, and I just couldn't get along without anyone's mind to read. So I decided to raise a large family and have lots of kids to work on. 'gHaving all those monsters seems like too much trouble, says Claire, reclining on a mound of coal. My whole life was dedicated to the manufacturing of labor saving devices. I invented a robot that did all the housework. It also in- cluded a radar system that would guide my children to and from school on its beam. This system also aids in checking up on the where- abouts of your husband. But my best invention was a collapsible car which I could drive intothe house. This way I don't have to walk up the steps. It even drives under water, so I took it up to Canada via the Great Lakes. Guess whom I saw up there? Joan Geiger. She looked sharp in her Royal Canadian Mounted Police Uni- form. Ever since the summer of '49, Joanie's heart has belonged in Western Canada, and I don't think her affections were just for the scenery. Joan, like all good mounties, was out to get her man. Didn't you want to be a model, Joan?,' Yes, but I'd rather be a model wife. Say, there's one member of the class missing, says Joan after she finishes counting the pitch- forks. Chl here she comes nowl Hello, Bobbie Herzog. Why were you late? asks Joan. 'CI couldn't leave earth until I finished auditing the books at the bank, is the answer. I hoped, after I left Abington Friends, my worries about balancing the books would be over. I would have been here yesterday, but when I went to Heaven I didn't find any of you kids. So I knew it wouldn't be heaven if my old pals from Abington Friends weren't there waiting for me. At this moment a voice is heard shouting, Special boat back to earth. Anybody care to go? Evidently Satan has decided to give some of the people a second chance. But the class of ,SO settle themselves around the fire again and start another round of hot dogs. Twenty-:even

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Class All aboard! a voice shouts. Last chance to catch the Trans-Stygian steamer leaving mid- night June 9, 2025. A figure runs down the river bank in an attempt to catch this ship to the underworld. As she boards the boat, we notice that it is Ginny Keim, last member of the class of '50 to reach the infernal regions. Satan, the pilot, directs the boat to the Hot Spot, the place especially designated by him for the reunion of the class of '50. This impish group is so en- grossed in toasting marshmallows, its members do not notice Ginny entering the Caverns. She can hear Barbara Hartman's familiar voice dis- cussing the deplorable fashions found in the lower regions. The discourse goes something like this: Now when I was on earth, my husband, -Iohn D. Rockefeller, thought red went very well with my complexion, but down here red is all I can wear. I'm getting tired of it. These horns aren't very becoming either. Why I've seen better chapeaux in Macy's. Barbara, is it really true that you married one of the Rockefellers? asks Lynn while she prac- tices a few tap dancing steps. Naturally, of course. After I finished that Broadway show with you, I married ID. Well, Barbara, continues Lynn, you always did say it was easier to marry a rich husband than a poor one. After this remark, Lynn proceeds to try a few of her dancing routines on the hot coals. She then points out that these steps were from that Broad- way show, Gentlemen Prefer Brunettes, in which she starred as a tap dancing comedienne. Yes, says Ginny, everyone thought you were a second Milton Berle. But Lynn, you taught Milton all he knows. Oh, Ginny, when did you get here? The Devil said he didn't expect you to come south this year, remarks Lynn with surprise. Well, I had booked passage for Heaven, but when I was excavating for the American Archaeological Society, I dug down too far and couldn't find my way back. Being a Bugology teacher at Locust Institute, I found it necessary to analyze the mind of the bed-bug. I found that by dis- secting the bugs, I received a clear knowledge of human anatomy. Whatl exclaims Bar- bara Ruch. Do you actually harm those poor defenseless animals? Why, in my Senatorial campaign speech I warned the public about peo- ple like you. It,s always been my belief that no one has the right to take the life of another, not even that of a mosquito. Do you mean, re- marks Jean Henderson, if a mosquito attacks me, instead of swatting him, it's better to bite him back?,' Barbara then argues that she should not even do that because Jean would have on her conscience the knowledge that she had caused the death of some poor animal. Why, Barbara remarks, I even carried out my threat of becoming a vegetarian rather than be a mur- derer. Barbara, don't mention that word murder, pleads Jean. 4'When I was a member of the F.B.I., Edgar Hoover used to send me out on all the murder cases. Many a difficult murder I solved with my trusty camera. I added new gadgets that take pictures of invisible finger prints and can even photograph around corners and through brick walls. After spending twenty years on the force, I wonder if people die of any- thing but murder. I can assure you they do, says Minnie the Mortician. But Jean, think of the fame your job brought you. Radio programs like 'Henderson, Crime Photographer' and comic strips such as 'Jean Tracy' were written about your heroic deeds. Then Jean asks to know how Minnie made out in the undertaking business. Well Jean, I did all right, but business was dead most of the time in spite of Elinor's help. You know, she was a nurse and after her ministrations her patients would be dying to visit me. Elinor then makes the remark that she thought Minnie was aspiring to be a Florence Nightingale. I was, Elinor, Twenty-.fix

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Class VW!! ana' Testament . . . We, the Class of 1950, being usually of sound mind and physically wrecked, do declare this to be our last will and testament and do hereby bequeat Helenels argyles to Jane Kniveton. Lynn's numerous ways of remembering things to Linda Hano. Mary' Jane's love of monkeys to Miss Tees. Joan's love of ranch life to Audrey Roberts. Barbara Hartman's daily popsicles to Margie Craig. Jean's careful driving to jean Nicholas. Bobbie's Wonderful open houses to those in search of good food and lots of fun. Ginny's brand of boisterousness to Sue Kaiser. Gweifs chemistry questions to Evelyn Breuninger. Clairels quips to Trudy Putney. Barbara Ruclfs dislike of dissections to future biology classes. Stefannieis flustrations to Jane Coburn. Elinor's sisterly advice to the eighth grade. lx Dottie's knowledge of all the latest tunes to Paula Subin. h the following: The Senior Class leaves its unique class meetings to all future class presidents. The Seniors leave the junk around their room to the Salvation Army. The Seniors leave all the time spent in preparation of their yearbook to the Junior Class so that they will not have to rush to get theirs out. The Seniors leave . . In Witness thereof we set our hand and seal this ninth day of June, l95O. Twenty-eight the Seniors