Abington Friends School - Outward Bound Yearbook (Jenkintown, PA)

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Class All aboard! a voice shouts. Last chance to catch the Trans-Stygian steamer leaving mid- night June 9, 2025. A figure runs down the river bank in an attempt to catch this ship to the underworld. As she boards the boat, we notice that it is Ginny Keim, last member of the class of '50 to reach the infernal regions. Satan, the pilot, directs the boat to the Hot Spot, the place especially designated by him for the reunion of the class of '50. This impish group is so en- grossed in toasting marshmallows, its members do not notice Ginny entering the Caverns. She can hear Barbara Hartman's familiar voice dis- cussing the deplorable fashions found in the lower regions. The discourse goes something like this: Now when I was on earth, my husband, -Iohn D. Rockefeller, thought red went very well with my complexion, but down here red is all I can wear. I'm getting tired of it. These horns aren't very becoming either. Why I've seen better chapeaux in Macy's. Barbara, is it really true that you married one of the Rockefellers? asks Lynn while she prac- tices a few tap dancing steps. Naturally, of course. After I finished that Broadway show with you, I married ID. Well, Barbara, continues Lynn, you always did say it was easier to marry a rich husband than a poor one. After this remark, Lynn proceeds to try a few of her dancing routines on the hot coals. She then points out that these steps were from that Broad- way show, Gentlemen Prefer Brunettes, in which she starred as a tap dancing comedienne. Yes, says Ginny, everyone thought you were a second Milton Berle. But Lynn, you taught Milton all he knows. Oh, Ginny, when did you get here? The Devil said he didn't expect you to come south this year, remarks Lynn with surprise. Well, I had booked passage for Heaven, but when I was excavating for the American Archaeological Society, I dug down too far and couldn't find my way back. Being a Bugology teacher at Locust Institute, I found it necessary to analyze the mind of the bed-bug. I found that by dis- secting the bugs, I received a clear knowledge of human anatomy. Whatl exclaims Bar- bara Ruch. Do you actually harm those poor defenseless animals? Why, in my Senatorial campaign speech I warned the public about peo- ple like you. It,s always been my belief that no one has the right to take the life of another, not even that of a mosquito. Do you mean, re- marks Jean Henderson, if a mosquito attacks me, instead of swatting him, it's better to bite him back?,' Barbara then argues that she should not even do that because Jean would have on her conscience the knowledge that she had caused the death of some poor animal. Why, Barbara remarks, I even carried out my threat of becoming a vegetarian rather than be a mur- derer. Barbara, don't mention that word murder, pleads Jean. 4'When I was a member of the F.B.I., Edgar Hoover used to send me out on all the murder cases. Many a difficult murder I solved with my trusty camera. I added new gadgets that take pictures of invisible finger prints and can even photograph around corners and through brick walls. After spending twenty years on the force, I wonder if people die of any- thing but murder. I can assure you they do, says Minnie the Mortician. But Jean, think of the fame your job brought you. Radio programs like 'Henderson, Crime Photographer' and comic strips such as 'Jean Tracy' were written about your heroic deeds. Then Jean asks to know how Minnie made out in the undertaking business. Well Jean, I did all right, but business was dead most of the time in spite of Elinor's help. You know, she was a nurse and after her ministrations her patients would be dying to visit me. Elinor then makes the remark that she thought Minnie was aspiring to be a Florence Nightingale. I was, Elinor, Twenty-.fix