Abbott High School - Blue and Gold Yearbook (Elgin, IL)

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Smile Mr. Dueringer: Do you want a large or a small picture? Student: A small one. Mr. Dueringer: Then please close your mouth. Smile Math. Teacher: You don't understand? W'ell, just watch the blackboard, and I'll go through it. Smile Teacher: What do you understand by the word deficit, Johnny? Johnny: It's what you've got when you haven't got as much as you had when you had nuthin'. Smile Many a father who worked his way through college is now working his son's way through. Smile Never break your bread or roll in your soup. Smile Nowadays the only red men who bite the dust are those who eat spinach. Smile Teacher: Use the word commercial in a sentence. Student: When I call my dog she'1l either commercial stay, according to how she feels. Smile Jack: What is the noblest king of dog ? Jill: I give up. Jack: The hot dog. It not only doesn't bite the hand that feeds it: it feeds the hand that bites it. Smile John had given the information on his test paper in geography that a furlough was a donkey. The teacher was interested in knowing why John gave this information, hence this conversation: Teacher: John, where did you find the information that a furlough was a donkey ? John: In my geography. Teacher: Please bring the geography to me. John did so, and a picture was shown of a soldier sitting on a donkey. The caption under the picture read: OH on a Furloughf' Smile Bill: Who won the race to the fence, you or the bull? Pete: lt was a toss-up. Chatter Smile Feminine Patient: Doctor, why does a small cavity feel so large to the tongue? Dentist: Just the natural tendency of your tongue to exaggerate, I suppose. Smile And if I take the job I'm to get a five hundred dollar raise every year? Yes, provided, of course, that your work is satisfactory. Ah! I thought there was a catch in it somewhere. Smile First Student: I wish I could be like the river l Second Student: Like the river? In what way ? First Student: Stay in bed, and yet fol- low my course! Smile Teacher: By what is Australia bounded, Fred? Fred: Kangaroos Smile Football player lto his motherbz Gosh, this spaghetti reminds me of football. Mother: Why ? Son: Always ten more yards to go. Smile Serious Escort: I'm sure we all have our own hopes and aims in life, Miss Brown. What is the height of your ambition ? Miss Brown: About six feet, good-look- ing and lots of money! Smile Customer: Have I the pleasant expres- sion you require? Photographer: Perfectly, sir. Customer: Then shoot quick: it hurts mv face. Smile Science has invented an earthquake an- nouncer that goes off like an alarm clock. Now if science would invent an alarm clock that goes off like an earthquake more boys vfould get to school on time. Smile Ho: So you graduated from the barber's college? What was your college yell? Bo: Cut his lip, Rip his jaw, Leave his face, Raw! raw! raw! Smile Which would you rather have been- Mary Queen of Scots or Joan of Arc ? You have the floor: relieve my anxiety. Joan of Arc, because she got a hot steak while Mary only got a cold chop. Smile Mr. Justwed: What did you do to this meat? It has such a peculiar taste. Mrs. Justwed: Oh, nothing. It did get a little burnt, but I fixed that-I applied Un- gentine right away. Smile The absent-minded professor drove up to his garage door. looked inside, and blinked. Then he leaped back into his car and drove like fury to the police station. Smile Mother: James, why are you late? James: Teacher kept me. Mother: Why? James: In class she asked me how many teeth a person has, and I said, 'A mouthfulf Smile Freshman: I don't know. Sophomore: I am not prepared. Junior: I do not remember. Senior: I don't believe I can add any- thing to what has already been said. The Most Beautiful Words in Any Language Why Teachers Need Vacations Class dismissed. I'll excuse you this time. .. There is no assignment for tomorrow. H Touchdownl Your grade is 100. Boys, may I introduce you to Claudette Colbert? The depression is over. Do we have to write this with pencil or ink? Can't I stay tomorrow instead of tonight? What's the date today? When do we have to hand this in? May I borrow a ruler? O, I forgot to bring my excuse. I wrote my theme, but I left it home. ll 1. Do you take any off for spelling? There will be no school next week. HMM, I take that test over again 7 No one claimed this S10 you found. Do I have to make up the work I missed? l33l

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Sept. Sept Sept. Sept. Sept. Oct. Oc t. Oct. Oct. Oct. Oct. Nov Nov Nov Nov. Dec. Dec. Dec. Dec. Dec. Ian. lan. Ian. Ian. Ian. Ian. -Mr. H. G. 7-Mr. Miller 16- SCHOOL CALENDAR September -Mr. Miller gave a welcome address. 12-Mr. Saam reviewed two splendid books. -Iudge Daniels gave an address on Constitution Day. -Football pep meeting. Rah! Rah! Rah! 24-New Abbottarian staff urge pupils to buy the paper. Kindergarten Kids! October 3-Educational movies of Alaska and the World War were shown. 10-Abbott Band was presenting a musical program when-Clang!!!! A fire drill. More music. 17-Mr. Waggoner of the Elgin High School addressed us on chemistry. 22-Elliot Iames startled his audience by giving several liquid aid demonstrations. 24-Reverend Crawford Brown spoke on future ideals. 31-The Abbott Orchestra gave a concert assisted by Miss Marjory Wigton, harpist. November Lawrance spoke on Greater Elgin. and the faculty entertained the honor students. Rev. Clyde Forney was the speaker. 21-Miss Black 28-Kenneth Foster spoke on China and had an inter- told us of her travels in Mexico. esting display of Chinese clothing. December 5-Miss Black completed her talk on her trip to Mexico. ll-Two school plays were given. 12-Reverend Iordan showed us many colored slides of Mexico and also an interesting talk was given. 19-Miss Frances Sellers entertained us with whistling and bird imitations. 21-Merry Christmas!! january 9-Reverend Wm. Rest talked on The Way to True Greatness. I0-Heaney, the magician had many clever new tricks. A debate was given by our own students on Re- solved: That the President's powers should be increased as a settled policy. 21-26-Exams! Exams! Exams! 28-Welcome, new students! 30-Mr. Miller gave a fine address. 1934-35 U01 Feb. Feb. Feb. Feb. Feb. Feb. Feb. Mar. Mar. Mar. Mar. Mar. Mar. April April April April April April April May May May Iune 22 27 February 8-Zellner, a protean characterist, gave a very interesting program. 12-A vaca tion-Wheel 13-Boy Scout Week. Scouts from the High School troops gave an interesting and educational program. 20-Mr. Cartwright of the Elgin High School said Your character plus your determination plus your atti- tude toward everyone and everything plus your leadership and poise in life is your pathway to success. -Another national holiday. 25-Eidie, a native of Norway, gave one of the most educational and interesting programs so far. -Reverend Rainey Bennett said, How about the hen for our national emblem? March 6-Dr. Harwood showed us some animals that he ob- tained from Africa and with his numerous thrilling tales certainly held our attention. 8-Many boys of Abbott were honored by receiving letters for basketball, tumbling, and football. 13-Dr. Armin G. Weng spoke on Lincoln's Religion. 15-The Case of Elmer Imbecile!! The Blue and Gold staff advertised our annual. 20-Reverend Clyde Forney was our auditorium speaker. 27-The Abbott Girls' Glee Club and numbers by groups 1 3 of the band and orchestra offered a delightful program. April -Most of us enjoyed the Indian program presented by the Abbott Band. Whoopee!! -The Commercial Club gave a splendid skit, Office Hours. 3-Miss McLean from the Public Library spoke on The Founders of Elgin. . 10-The Band played several contest numbers. 17-Home Rooms planned shows for the Carnival. 24-The Abbott Orchestra played several of their contest 26 1-Mr. Beckner took 6-The annual went 7-The carnival was -The carnival was numbers. postponed. May us to some other worlds. to press. given. Iune 7-See you in September.