University of Texas Austin - Cactus Yearbook (Austin, TX)

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S C I E T r EXPLANATION Trembling employees of the Paralta Studio shuddered under the baleful glare of Sally Earl Goodenough ' s steel- ly eye as she put them through the third degree as to the exact reason why they wanted her picture so badly for the Cactus. Stubbing their toes guiltily on the floor, the employees quailed before her wrath, muttered in a subdued manner that they merely needed it to close the class section. Humph! Fiddlesticks! snorted Miss Goodenough. My big brother George warned me about you — you need my picture for the SLIME and you ' re not going to get it!! So saying, she turned on her heel and strutted out, later changing her mind and returning to have the picture made, hoping against hope for publicity, no matter how revealing it might be. The only reason why such fertile material was deleted from the pages of SLIME is that Sizzling Sally ran afoul of Simon Legree and was used in one of his degrading publicity stunts, thereby barring her from the pages of this conservative magazine, CAUTION On the other hand, beauteous Beth Duncan (McLain ' s Former Precious, Sweet Vision But Now His Nightmare) cautiously refused to have any picture made for the Cactus at all, although she was a beauty nominee and a mem- ber of several campus organizations as well. Caution heeded her nothing, for the forward Miss Duncan protruded her neck so far and so well (along with that of Rosser (Don ' t Call Me Dude) Coke that she made the pages even without benefit of portrait. Cau- tion came a little too late. QUEER Deterioriatioii of student masculin- ity may be seen in a vicious social cycle which transpired following this year ' s Rush Week. Kappa Kappa Gamma invited the entire S.A.E. Chap- ter to a lovely pink tea following their quantity Rush Week. Not to be outdone. Pi Beta Phi started their pot to simmer, inviting all the S.A.E. to their stucco love-nest. Pricking up their ears at this new but pleasant divertisement. Phi Gamma Delta phoned to announce that they were bringing their own little group over for the enlightenment of Pi Beta Phi. Their plans went amiss, however, when they arrived at their destination on the appointed hour to find only Hallie Orr and the housemother awaiting them. GIRDLE Joyfully blending into close harm- ony, the voices of carefree picnicers rose above the woodland scene. Final- ly all voices were stilled except for a single girlish soprano, easily identified as that of Nell (Platinum Blonde) Col- gin. On and on went the voice of Our Nell as song after song poured from her versatile memory bag. After many moments her escort, Tim (T. H. Wil- liams Co) Williams admired: My, but you have a big repertoire. Now Timmie, admonished Nellie with ut- most sincerity, don ' t you try to sell me a girdle. Pagt 33 7

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CRIME INITIATIVE One day this last October, the in- ventive genius of A D Pi came into its own in the form of a rush picnic for the blanket minded daughters of the first year class. With a supposedly convincing list of young males and the rushees, the wagon train pulled out for the hill country. Significantly glaring was the absence of the custom- ary permit and watchdog. RUMOR All Slime reporters are not com- pletely efficient. For one assigned to cover the machinations of Pi Beta Phi brought back the following incomplete stories from that field of research. We are passing them on to our readers in the hope that some may be more fully explained for our next issue: Can anyone give us the name of the Pi Phi, who, making for their well- traveled alley to meet a late date, got into a car with the wrong party? Can anyone explain why Pi Beta Phi ' s red- haired flash from Sophie Xewcombe was not kindly received? Who were the three Pi Phis that rushed for their S.A.E. sisters the last date of fraternity rush week? Were they Edmonds, Fields and Yeager? Were they the same three who became a little overly-hilarious one fall evening, sneaked out of the house and serenaded the same group of sisters? Where was the subsequent picnic held? HOOTCHIE-KOOTCHIE Picnickers often show amazing versatility. For once this past season, when rain spoiled Phi Gamma Delta ' s well-planned Bull Creek sojourn, the brethren retired to the Chapter House, with their feminine guests, where all participants enjoyed a most novel bit of unscheduled entertainment. CRIME OF THE YEAR Typical was the merciless hot-box that Pi Beta Phi applied to Meta Young until she promised to pledge, only to be told the next afternoon that she had failed to pass the chapter. Such an unladylike display of poor taste and poorer ethics can only be applied to the presence of such as Martha Ed- monds, Adcle Barbish, Judith Sternen- berg and Mary Rice, who, surely, must have forgotten that leniency must have been practiced in the choosing of mem- bers in times past. Meta Young, dis- tracted, pledged Zeta Tau Alpha which clearly indicates a torn-up mind and a tendency to do something desperate about the situation. Pi Phi gets a thumb down for this. PSEUDO BLUNDERBUSS Scandal is a stately lady, Whispers when she talks; Waves of innuendo, Ripples as she walks. Such was the introduction to the Reformed Political Blunderbuss which appeared on the campus Monday before election daj ' . What followed was the most glaring case of decep- tion ever perpetrated upon the student body of the University of Texas. Copies were quickly gobbled up by the gullible crowds, who would, perhaps, have been more wary had they chanced to see upon the second page the name of one John Patric, otherwise known as Simon Legree, would-be political boss, emblazoned beneath the title of editor. Search as they would, the crowds could find no scandal; found only that they had been the means of fattening the purse of Patric. (Continued on Page 357) Page m

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