Central High School - Cog N Pen Yearbook (Newark, NJ)

Page 21 text:

HOW TO FLUNK The following prescription has been guaranteed by numerous personages as a sure method by which one may attaın the depths of failure. You may have faith in the words of these persons for they have had the experience of accomplishing the feat mentioned above. To begin with, determine that you are not going to like a certain subject. Bear this fact in mind, for you will not attain worthwhile results, if you for one minute fail to remember your dislike of it. Decide that your teacher has it “in for you”; you just know that he will fail you regardless of the type of work you do. Tell everyone that you have the hardest teacher in the school and believe it yourself. (This is said to come very natural). See to it that everyone (includ- ing yourself) knows at the beginning of the term that your chances of passing are slight. Do not attend classes regularly. Let your dislike for the subject cause you to frequently absent your- self from class. When you feel ambitious enough, go to class. How- ever, do not, under any circumstances think of making up work you have missed. For if you do, there is less chance to reach your goal. Do not force yourself to listen unwillingly to your teacher's ceaseless explanations. Allow your mind to wander where it will. If you have a desire to gaze out of the window, by all means see to it that you satisfy your desire. Д Have ап obliging friend do homework for you ос- casionally. Let me advise you, however, to make certain that he knows not very much more than you do. Moreover, do not allow him to do work for you too often. Plan to be absent whenever a test is to be given. If your friends are inquisitive as to whys and where- fores tell them you were ill. (It is not necessary for them to know the real reason.) Follow carefully the advice given above for three months. Then the only thing standing between suc- cessful results and you will be the examinations. Take your first examination. Depend upon the fellow at the next desk to help pass. Allow the teacher to see you gazing at your neighbor's paper a few times. This will result in the inevitable confisca- tion of your test paper. Pretend a cold on the day of your last exam. And lo! you will have attained the goal of— failure. And when the list of flunkers is out. YOUR NAME LEADS ALL THE REST! —Frieda Halpern. THE GIVING OF A SPEECH Tomorrow I must give a speech, A helpful lesson it will teach, The topic of my speech will be “Оп Carelessness, oh my, oh me! After a restless, sleepless night, And losing much in weight and height, I come to school and there await, And wonder what will be my fate. When suddenly I hear a call, Into the pits of fear I fall, My name it is that now I hear, While others loudly clap and cheer. Two minutes pass and I am through, A clap, a cheer, and smiles—my due. And down the stairs I quickly run — Instead of work it was plain fun. — Martha Meisner.