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Page 221 text:
"THE YOUTH 0F TooAY
IS CONFRONTED WITH THE
mosr DIFFICULT PRO'LEMS-
THE WEEKLY CABINET MEETING OF THE ttYii
THE DAVISON-NORSENG COMPANY
The Davison-Norseng Company is an imaginary association that resulted from
the over zealousness of these tWo enterprising young men to get rich quick. They
have, by borrowing offices in which to have their pictures taken and by printing
post cards, endeavored throughout the season to carry the public along with them
in visualizing such a company. Financially the organization has failed in its aim
and purpose. Because the majority of people insist on putting their blotters on
their desk upside down, not even the business men have benefited. The company was
godfather to the King Midas Band, whom it nurtured to' maturity, only to have the
band grow up to prick the balloon and leave the company without an enterprise.
The result is that Davison and Norseng tread alone, unable to solicit even an ad,
for the business men all hide when they see them coming.
THE COLLEGE MILKWAGON
We wish to solemnly doff our hats as we pay due respect to the passing of the
Methusela of the college farmis agricultural implements, the milkman,s buggy. The
vehicle has established an endurance record rivaled only by the celebrated tione-hoss
shay? and for this reason deserves a eulogy not unlike that given iiOld Ironsidesf,
The eye of many an old grad has danced to see on his return the milky-way veteran
of his Alma Mater unchanged from year to year. Its cargo has reared the present
citizens of the town from children to strong men and women who praise its name.
Such an outstanding record is a true illustration of that old River Falls never-
THE Low DOWN
And now for our good "loyal" friend, the tiLow Down? To you we turn the
other cheek as we shower you with the most generous wishes. We hope that you
may find numerous problems, customs, and traditions to reform and over which you
may become "sour" and disgruntled. May your bright and fitting comments ever
continue to curb any obnoxious tendencies that may arise and may they continue to
spur the school on to even greater heights.
Two Hundred Seven
Page 220 text:
THE LIBRARY ISSUES AN ULTIMATUM
The Lincolnians are organized for two purposes: to supply the students with
school stickers and to hold their annual campaign and election. With these pur-
. . . y" J LL x7 "1
hnnnn 1n munJ Hun" 1." 4' Kim auu mu: 1.. v'.
r J ' .
C. A. candy sales, the poverty-stricken students and faculty have been relieved of all
their spare dimes and nickels. So far one has been able to see most of the foot-
ball games between the interference of one Lincolnian vender and another. The
only apparent difference between a Lincolnian vender and a respectable peddler is
that the latter has a peddleris license. If the membership continues to increase,
however, they may become considered so much of a public nuisance that it will be
considered necessary to place them under the college ban.
They profess to study Roberts, iiRules of Order" but we throw out the sugges-
tion that next year they adopt for their text, iiHow To Become An Efficient Sales-
manf by Ike N. Sellum.
YOUNG MEN,S CHRISTIAN ASSOCIATXON
Dear Y. M. C. A., we view you with the deepest pity. All year have we heard
you work yourself into a frenzy over the facing and solving of problems, which,
though you cannot find them, you have forced yourself into believing must exist, and
that it is your duty to solve. What a predicament you must be in. And it is
because we feel sorry for you that our hopes and wishes are of the most generous
nature. May you actually some time come face-to-face with an lionest-to-goodness
THE COLLEGE MASQUERS
The College Masquers is an organization that meets jointly with the G. O. P.,
providing entertainment for the latter. It is sad but true that they are the laughing
stock of the crowd. It has not been much beyond their ability to present several
plays throughout the year.
Two Hundred Six
Page 222 text:
Two Hundred Eight
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