Winthrop High School - Winthrop Winner Yearbook (Winthrop, ME)

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46 WINTHROP WINNER Briggs: Doctor, can you help me? My name is Briggs-. Doctor: No, I'm sorry, I simply can't do anything about that. The head teacher in the Su n d ay School found too much noise going on in the next room. Seeing A. Bond, a little taller than the rest, talking a great deal, he brought him out and banged him in- to a chair in his room, saying: Now, be quiet! A little while later a smaller head ap- peared around the door saying: Please, sir, you've got our teacher. He Did His Best J. Maxim Ca hungry Irishmanl, went into a restaurant Friday and said to the waiter: Have yez any whale ? Waiter: No. J. Maxim: Have yez any shark? Waiter: No. J. Maxim: Have yez anv swordfish ? Waiter: No. J. Maxim: Have you any jellyfish ? Waiter: No. Alright , said John. Then bring me ham and eggs and a beefsteak smoth- ered wid onions. The Lord knows 1 asked for fish ?. . One day R. Swift was seated in the waiting-room of a station with an odor- ous pipe in his mouth. L. Moore called his attention to the sign no smoking . R. Swift: Well , said Russell, I'm not a-smokin'. L. Moore: But you have a pipe in your mouth. R. Swift: Sure, an' I've shoes on me feet an' I'm not walkin'. His Idea of Genius Bud Cobb once said to Hobble Ste- vens, the young cowboy singer: Mr. Stevens, donyt you believe that genius is inspiration? H. Stevens: No , replied Hobble, genius is perspiration. He Knew Only One Mr. LaPlant had been telling his Bi- ology class that recently Worms had be- come so numerous that they destroy the crops, and it was necessary to import the English sparrow to exterminate them. The Sparrows multiplied very f as t and were gradually driving away our native birds. H. Deblois was apparently verv 1n- attentive, and Mr. LaPlant, thinking to catch him, said: Henry, which is worse, to have worms or sparrows ? Henry hesitated a moment and then replied: Please, I never had the sparrows. Cobb at the Gem fturning aroundjz Can't you see anything ? Peg: Can't see a streak of the stage. Cobb: Why, then, I'll tell you what to do. You just keep your eye on me and laugh when I do. Marjorie F.: I think Helen will make a fine wife. I have been calling on hel for six months now and nearly always have found her darning her father's socks. Bob S.: That caught me, too, until I foliind out that it was always the same soc . Kat: I've an invention at last that will mean a fortune. Lucie: What is it this time? Kat: Why, it's an extra key for a typewriter. When you don't know how to spell a word you hit that key and it makes a blur that might be an e or a or almost anything else. Merrill and Phyllis were seated in a buggy one evening in town watching the people pass. Nearby was a popcorn stand. Presently Phil remarked: My! The popcorn smells good! That's right , said Merrill, I'll drive up a little closer so you can smell it better. , ,

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WINTHROP HIGH SCHOOL 45 Want Ads Wanted: By L. Gale an instrument that will make her able tor Stan a Bell fStanley Belzj. Wanted: By S. Gaylord a book on love making. Wanted: By M. Audette and M. Bis- son a baby Chick , Wanted: By R. Dostie a shoe Heal that will not Russ . Wanted: Something to make a corn Cobb keep away from a S p i de r Webb . Wanted: A Black Smith shop next to a Well . Wanted: Some Mills that Arthur Rourke, Jr. can buy. Wanted: A Bole CBeaulieuJ, for a Hall . Wanted: By C. Wentworth some more wood that will keep her Bond fire going. Wanted: By Robert Stewart a car of his own and a girl to go with it. Wanted: By E. Lewia something that will make Buster Deblois appreciate her. A S Wanted: By Miss Hoke something to make R. Stewart study his French more. Wanted: By Mr. Millett a Detective to find out who makes all the noise in his Business Training class. Wanted: By Mr. LaPlant someone to take charge of his Biology Class while he is absent, and keep them quiet. Wanted: By Mr. Grant some tape to put over Ray's mouth to stop him from talking and laughing so much in class. Wanted: By Anita Dostie a little of the sun's Ray . . . It is said that Edna Young has been seen about with a Green guy. O. Tibbetts: You remind me of the ocean. H. Smith: Wild, romantic, rest- less -. O. Tibbetts: No, you just make me sick. In the Freshman Latin Class, student translating: And the Romans 'flew'. Another student: I didn't kn o w they had airplanes in those days! Mr. LaPlant: What is a weed ? Lila: A mislaid plant. Mr. LaPlant: Name one. Lila: LaPlant. Mr. LaPlant only wishes that Peg Bruneau would sleep as soundly at night as he does when it is time to get up in the morning. Rosa Bruneau after a hard time eat- ing her candy yesterday, said she wish they would put a zipper opener on cel- lophane wrappers. Dance note: I'd ask you for the next dance, but all the cars are taken. Betty Webb in English Class telling how to make a dress: Well, first you select your cloth, then a pattern and some thread. After that you cut out the cloth and sew it up. Well, doctor , said M. Cushman, Why in the world don't you look at my tongue, if you want to, instead of writ- ing away like a newspaper editor? How long do you expect I am going to sit here with my mouth wide open? Just a moment more, please, Mad- am , replied the doctor, I only wanted you to keep still long enough so that I could write this prescription. Harvey Buzzell's father came in to see him, found him holding one of his rabbits by the ears and saying to him, How much is seven times seven ? Bah , his father heard him say, I knew you couldn't. Here is another one. Six times six is what? Now I know our teacher was lying to'i1s. Why, how? asked his father. Why, she told us this morning that rabbits were the greatest multipliers in the world.

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WINTHROP HIGH SCHOO L 47 C. W.: Will I have to give up my club when we are married, love ? Marjorie: Oh, I'll have a little club at home for you, dear. Mr. Jordan recently received an 1n- come tax form, and returned it saying: Sir, I belong to the Foresters and don't wish to join the income tax. Modern Example Miss Vetter: Give me an example of three punctuation marks. Leonard Moore: A comma is the brake that slows down the speed, an ex- clamation point is an accident, and a period is a bumper. Professor Millett Cin Math. classjz What's the matter with you ? R. Parker: I got a sliver in my finger. Professor: Ah! so you've been scratching your head again. R. Cobb: My brother Won't be at school today. He fell off the roof of the barn. LaPlant: Is he injured badly? R. Cobb: No, not very, he struck on his head. E. Stevens: You look like a nice sensible girl. Will you marry me ? A. Bowens: Oh, no, I am just as sensible as I look. It was the day after the Junior Prize Speaking Contest. This was the conver- sation: Swifty hasn't been doing much work lately on Advertisements for the Win- throp Winner. Funny, he was working down on Morton Street last night for at least half an hour! Was it for Advertisements, Swifty ? R. Stetson: I wonder how old Miss Hoke is ? G. Ruman: Quite old, I imagine, they said she taught Caesar. To Mr. Grant during a history test, Glenis Richards wrote this appropriate verse: Can't think, too dumb, Inspiration won't come, Bum ink, bum pen, Best wishes, A-men. Mr. Grant's reply: A paper, a blank, Noianswers, no rank, Keen mind, clever lass, But no work, no pass. Miss Vetter: Leonard, what is the object of 'he' Y L. Gaylord: She. Profound Sayings The only thing we get on our radio is dust. -Irene Fleury A train smokes and also choosf' L. Gale to V. Rourke: In the United States many people are put to death by 'elocution'. fHint 'U H. Laughton: I saw you running to school this morning. I thought you were too lazy for that. R. Lewia: That's easily explained. Laziness runs in our family. L. Horzempa: Oh, Mother! The cir- cus has come to town. There's one of the clowns. Mrs. Horzempa: Hush, dear! That's not a clown, it's just a Senior. G. Lee: Olive's face is the picture of health. M. Rourke: Yes, and she painted it herself, too. Hush, little Henry, Don't you cry, You'll be a big man, By and by. Gaylord: Did you see the smile she gave me? Oh, boy! Kus: That's nothing. The first time she saw me she laughed out loud.