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Page 32 text:
From sea to shin-ing sea CRACKS CONTINUE Harry Henderson: " Why does a student never lead a quiet life? " Frank Forte: " I know! I know! He’s always pursuing his books. " Teacher: " Tell me, Edward, would it be possible tor you to walk around this round world of ours if it were all land and no oceans? " Edward Hall: " No, Ma ' m, I couldn ' t. I sprained my ankle, and it pains me to walk. " Gloria Hall: " Why are you taking that cream and sugar to the show, Pat? " Patricia Bicknell: " Didn ' t you hear about it? There ' s going to be a serial. " Ed Swift: " Don ' t take that hay to bed. " Bob Sutherland: " I ' ve got to feed my nightmare. " Alvin French: " What do you want to take a ruler to bed for? " Barry Belmain: " Why not? I want to see how long I sleep. " Norman Strehl: " Did you see that nut sitting on the curb with a piece of bread? " Bill Chinn: " Sure! He was waiting for the traffic jam. " Marion Farrell: " I don ' t feel so good. " Pauline Pierce: " Where do you feel the worst, dearie? " Marion Farrell: " In school. " Elbert Bartlett: " This verb stuff gets me. What ' s a passive verb? " Ray Davies: " A passive verb is when the subject is the suf- ferer, as ' I am loved ' . " Tom Taylor: " Hey, wisdom, what ' s the equator? " Howard Bassett: " The equator is that menagerie lion running around the earth and through Africa. " Janet Taylor: " We don ' t have a mountain range in our kitchen. We have an electric range. " Vonie March: " Of course not! A mountain range is a cook- ing stove used at high altitudes. " MY MELODY Pat Champlain — The First One to Say Good Morning. Stan Harter — Taking a Chance on Love. Tommy Swearengen — Riding down That Old Texas Trail Bob Stevenson — Sleepy Lagoon. John Dixon — Somewhere Sometime. Mignonne Van Court — Breathless. Sally Ambrose — I ' ve Got Rhythm in Everything I Do. Jackie Kwei — Need I Speak. Bill Kenney — Take Your Shoes Off, Baby. Frank Forte — I ' m on Pins and Needles. David Senegal — I ' d Love to Know You Better. Barry Behmain — That Ain ' t the Way I Dreamed It. DIPPY DOODLES Jack Menges was once up a tree, But he was worried as worried could be, For plums there were none, Which spoiled all his fun. He now roosts in a palm, that grandee. Walt poked at a nest with great glee. The hornets were soon on a spree. He took to his heels With squawks, squeaks, and squeals. Their nips Kolasa conceals. There is a young gent at our school, sir, Who was bothered each morn by a rooster. Steve jumped from his bed. And chopped off his head. Smith now snoozes and snores as he uster. Dave Iventosch tooted his flute. The neighbors began to soon shoot. Their aims were not true So David still blew. By golly he’ll never be through. There was a Bob Forbes in a boat. He said, " I ' m afloat on a float. " He let out a scream And sank in the stream. Now Bobbie no longer can gloat.
Page 31 text:
And crown thy good with broth - er - hood Canny Cracks Anne Foley: " When was beef the hiqhest? " Judith Daly: " When the cow jumped over the moon. " Charles Losee: " Could I borrow your pen? " Vaclav Benes: " Why you didn ' t return it the last time you borrowed it. " Charles Losee: " Now what ' ll I do? I want to borrow it again. " Electric Servicer: " Good morning, Miss, I ' m from the electric company. I understand there ' s something in the house that won ' t work. " Alice Pappas: " Yes, Teddy ' s upstairs. " Joseph Wood: " Did you hear about the military worm? " Bob Elliott: " The military worm? " Joseph Wood: " Sure. He ' s in the apple core. " Teacher: " What is smaller than an arit ' s mouth? " Robert Thorsen: " What goes into it. " JoAnne Lurker: " When is coffee like the soil? " Frances Tenney: " When it is ground. " Belden Gardner: " Why is a book like a king? " Charles Moody: " It has many pages. " Leota Moulton: " Why is ' k ' like a pig ' s tail? " Virginia Linforth: " It ' s at the end of pork. " Nancy Tryon: " How is the best way to get fat? " Marjorie Towler: " Go to the butcher shop. " Joyce Arnold: " When is it ever going to be easy to read in the woods? " Frances Starbuck: " When autumn turns the leaves, goosie. " Bob Ingersoll: " What is the best butter in the world? " Byron Brown: " The goat . " Eleanor Bird: " Why is a steel trap like the measles? " Virginia Church: " Because it is cafching. " Wade Williams: " How does a sailor know there ' s a man in the moon? " Paul Gordet: " Because he went to see (sea). " Stan Harter: " What is mine and used by others more than by me myself? " Dick Robinson: " Your name, wise crack. " Kenneth Beaubien: " I bet you don ' t know what ' s bought by the yard and worn by the foot. " Kenneth Pettit: " The carpet. " Margaret Starbuck: " Is there any great difference between a cat and a match? " Jane Biedenbach: " I suppose so for I think a cat lights on its feet and a match on its head. " George Hobart: " What insect is found in school? " Dexter Ahlgren: " I ' ll tell the world. It ' s the spelling bee. " Hugh Finley: " What is the best way to raise strawberries? " Louis Rhodes: " With a spoon. " Edward Downing: " Plant tight boots, and what will you raise? " Ray Davies: " Corns. " Bill Pryor: " What is a good thing to part with?” Bob Reynolds: " My comb. " Bob Hunter: " In what way do men now compete with the birds? " Dacre Stone: " In flying through the air, and they ' re winners, too. " Sam Chapman: " When do broken bones begin to make themselves useful?” Lloyd Rolfe: " When they begin to knit. " Edward Stovall (in whispers): " That must be looked into. " Percy Cruikshank: " Yes, I know. The mirror. " Gwen Day: " Why is your nose not twelve inches long? " Hilda Martens: " Because it would then be a foot. " Alice Frank: " What is the best thing to put into pies? " Mary Louise Carlson: " Your teeth. " Cynthia Sawin: " In what month do girls talk the least? " Eda Mackenzie: " February, because it is the shortest. " Teacher: " When is the worst weather for rats and mice? " Robert Gray: " When it rains cats and dogs. "
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