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Page 43 text:
THE TARGET 4i Jiro Uchiyama, reading- in L9 English: " That wild marauding cheese " (chief). Mary Parham, translating Latin: " Marcus saw the moon and stars in his dinner. Anna McLaughlin: " What chap- ter of the ' Odyssey ' are you read- ing? " Mildred Bain: " The tenth. " Anna McLaughlin: " Just wait ' till you get to Hades. " Seen on Zella ' s composition pa- per — - " I can do my bit by keeping the collars flying. " William Walton: " It was bad enough to be in the show this after- noon, but my ma ' s here tonight. " Harold Milnes, translating Latin: " The sailors were dying on the is- land in order that they might catch fish " (meaning delaying). Lillian St. John- in Latin: " The enemy will be on the point of burn- ing the sea. " Mr. Beardsley: " Why was astron- omy and not philosophy practiced by the ancient Babylonians? " Carol Parratt: " Because the land was flat. " Teacher: " Dick, what is an aque- duct? " Dick Cleverdon: " It ' s a thing to batter down walks. " Doris Bridge translating Latin: " I saw Claudia ' s star under the cook ' s basket. " Jean Dupont, going into the Em- porium, " Oh, let ' s go up the Aes- culapius " (escalator). Anita Isaacs in yard: " Everything looks so black after you ' ve been sitting on your stomach a long time reading. " Miss Vassaide in H 9 French: " What did you study for today, Hu- bert? " Hubert Kenny: " I wrote those questions orally. " Miss Fisher: " How would you feel toward the boy who wouldn ' t let you sit on the fence that divided your yards? " Ned Maher: " I ' d feel sorry for him. " Little boy to Louise Blake: " Are you studying Classy Mitts? " (Classic Myths). Daniel Nutting: " Clear the train, the tracks are coming. " Mr. Beardsley: " St. Frances put wood ashes in his food. Now, why did he do it? " Paul Barnes: " He was Hoover- izing. " Paul Albert, phoning to butcher: Have you any hair (hare) left? " Lorna Doughty: " I have a hole in my stocking, darn it. " Theresa Chambers: " You ' d bet- ter. " Mr. Beardsley: " Give a descrip- tion of the capture of Jerusalem in 1099. " Dorothy Belle: " It was in the spring. "
Page 42 text:
40 THE TARGET THE WAR IN OUR MIDST. A Bomb — John Fiske, occasion- ally bursting to let out a correct English answer. A Tank — William Reiber, slowly but surely crawling to the land of sleep during recitations. A Submarine — Erato Dehmel, working havoc among all correct algebra examples. Earl Sanford — making History in- teresting by his famous daily gas at- tacks. was the Mr. Beardsley: " What religion of the Pilgrims? " Ernest De Reynier: " Merchants. ' Mr. Beardsley: " What natural barrier stopped Frederick Barbarossa from crossing into Italy? " Catherine Burke: " Oh! It was the Pope. " Mr. Beardsley: " The Scots settled Ireland, the Picts, Scotland, and who settled England? " Helen Heavy: " The shovels, I guess. " Anita Isaacs: " The Chinese built the wall to keep out the tartans " (Tartars). ATTACKS ON UNFORTIFIED DOMES. W hen you have been sent out of the room and you see Mr. Clark coming. When you get up to recite and Erato Delmel grins at you. When you hear the buzzer and you ' re in the midst of an examina- tion. When you drop a crumb. Louise Blake, rushing wildly around: " Oh, where is she? " Laura Durkee: " Who? " Louise Blake: " Ursula ' s lunch. " Louise Blake in Algebra: " Miss Harris, after we get the answer to the third, shall we work it any farther? " Malcolm Stratton, reading the " Odyssey: " " As they who hold open the sky " (meaning as they who hold the open sky). Miss Farwell: " How do you translate the present passive infini- tive of ' teach ' ? " Evelyn Holcomb: " To be teach- ed. "
Page 44 text:
42 THE TARGET Dorothy Sargeant in History: " They were cursing along the coast " (cruising). Georgia Smith, translating Latin: " Today we went into the woods to see the white bear ' s maidservant. " Trammell Rutherford: " We en- countered a wildcat surrounded by her puppies. " Russell Calhoun: " Gargantua was a rabbit with a big mouth. " HOSPITAL NOTES. Mr. William Walton will teach, upon request, the art of laughing and growing fat. William Reiber is in charge of all the rest cure cases. Richard Dehmel will give free in- struction on how to use a desk for a bed, thus saving a needless expense. For the benefit of the conva- lescing, Mr. Lawton Butler will show how to listen to the History and do Algebra at the same time. CAMOUFLAGE. Henriette Zabel: " I can ' t recite, I was absent last Tuesday. Marion J. Smith: " I flunked in spelling Friday because I didn ' t get time to study it. " Miss Fisher: " Norwood, why didn ' t you do your work? " Norwood Nichols: " Because I thoug ht we were to look it over and do it orally in class. Henriette Zabel: " I can spell it but I can ' t pronounce it. " Erato Dehmel: " Ha-ha, he-he, etc. " Robert Dunn: " I almost put that, but I didn ' t. " Catherine Burke: " Oh, I forgot it, I ' ll bring it tomorrow. " Henriette Zabel: " Please just let me see your paper for a minute. — I was absent. " Miss Smith: " John, put away your knitting. " John Bogle: " Oh, just let me finish this row. " Laura Durkee: " I could do better in Latin if I wanted to. " Donald Gubser: " Someone was making so much noise. that I didn ' t hear the question. " Miss Vassaide: " How long did you study your lesson? " Martha Hanna: " I didn ' t look at the clock. " Curtis Wright: " I had a headache when Miss Harris gave us the test. " Emily Brown in History, after someone else has answered the ques- tion: " Oh, I knew that. " Mr. Beardsley: " Tell us some- thing about Philip of Macedon. " Dorothy Belle Tusch: " I can ' t tell you about Philip but I ' ll tell you about Alexander. " Elma Auze: " I know it but I can ' t explain it. " '
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