Weymouth High School - Campus / Reflector Yearbook (Weymouth, MA)

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MARCH REFLECTOR 15 No glanders in our family, doc! I de- murred. He held up his finger within three inches of my nose. Look at my ringer, he commanded. I did so. Now look across the bay. At my finger. Across the bay. At my finger. Across the bay. At my finger. Across the bay. He explained that this was a test of the brain. It seemed easy to me. I never once mistook his finger for the bay. I ' ll bet that if he had said, Gaze, as it were, unpreoccupied, outward, or rather laterally, in the direction of the horizon, underlaid, so to speak, with the adjacent fluid inlet, and Now return- ing — or rather in a manner — withdrawing your attention, bestow it upon my upraised digit, I could have done it! I ' m willing to bet that even Henry James himself would have passed the examination. After asking me if I had ever had a grand tincle with curvature of the spine or a mother-in-law with swelled ankles, he retired to an inner office to consult himself. Maybe he had an oracle in there. I don ' t know. I stood by the window and gazed first at my finger and then across the bay. At length he emerged from his consulta- tion, looking like the Federal Reserve Bank in Boston. He had written out a diet list to which I was to be restricted. It had every thing that I had ever heard of to eat except snails. And I never eat a snail unless it overtakes and bites me first. Then he told me that I had cirrhosis of the heart, indurated arteries, neurasthenia, neurites, acute indigestion, eonvalescene, and about one chance in a thousand to live. You must follow the diet strictly and get plenty of oudoor air and exercise. Take a tepid bath at night and a cold one in the morning. Be cheerful and fix your mind on pleasant subjects. Take a phosphorous pill three times a day, preferably after meals, and a tonic composed of the tinctures of gentian, chinchona, calisaya, and cardamon com- pound. Into each teaspoonful mix tincture of nux vomica beginning with one drop and increasing it a drop each day until the maxi- mum dose is reached. Have you got that? Yes, I lied, feeling slightly dizzy. Good morning, then, said he. We both took something — he took up a book and I took the air. Now that was a year ago and I, like Jimmie Gallagher, am still hanging on. Elsie Stub ' 30 A Case of Mistaken Identity As John Huntley was walking down Rockcroft Avenue, he saw a slightly opened door, leading into a beautiful house and, seized with a spirit of adventure, he walked in. He walked through long halls till he came to another door a little ajar. Giving it a push, he stepped into a dining-hall pre- pared for a banquet. As he was hungry, he ate some of the food. Then he went out and to a theatre. After the performance he chanced to think he was hungry and decided to go back to the room. When he arrived, the room was full of men who looked as though some calamity had befallen them. As he was in evening clothes, he was seized immediately with cries of: Here ' s the groom! Start the wedding March! He was carried to a large salon, where he was told to Buck up, George. Get to the altar before Ethel. But I ' m not going to get married. I never heard of Ethel or saw this place before in my life. ' ' It ' s just nervousness said the young man who had taken him in tow. You ' ll recover after your married. ' ' ' ' I haven ' t any ring. Isn ' t that proof that I ' m not going to get married? Why, don ' t you remember that you sent it to me for fear that you ' d lose it? Now march. John was led, dazed, to the altar, and didn ' t hear a word that was said till the minister was saying, I pronounce thee man and wi — . Hold on , John shouted at him and the minister stopped short, with a look of the utmost surprise on his usually benign features. ' Hold on, ' is right, said a voice from the door-way, as a very flushed y oung man ran up to the party. Who is marrying my bride? Then John turned around and

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14 WEYMOUTH HIGH SCHOOL Hot Air Operator! Give me 8-300 please! Let- ter? Oh, K. What is the letter? Why, I just said K. I did not say OK. I said Oh — Yes, I know I said K. Please allow me to finish. I said, Oh because I didn ' t understand what you meant .it first. The letter is K — Yes— Hello, Betsy? — Yes. How are you? Is that so? How ' s the baby? Still givin ' him Eagle brand? Air? Isn ' t that nice! No. Air? Well I always claimed ya can ' t go on looks. Have you seen the new boarder? Oh, ya have ? Well ain ' t he the most hansome thing ya ever saw? Air. He ' s got such bew-t-ful hair — I know it — No! Well, I whis ' t I was young again though by the actions of some people forty is still in baby clothes. Air? I declare, and him earning good pay. Why the way she galavants around you ' d think she didn ' t have no husband to get a supper for. What do ya know? — Why, the baker ' s cart is down there a good half hour every day. Air? As I said to Joe — Joe, I said If she was a tending to her business she ' d have no business odering that junk offer baker. — Air. That ' s just what I say! My Joe, he calls it sawdust — Ha Ha well, the new boarder is so sweet about that. He said to me, Mother — he always calls me Mother — Yes, I know he ' s sorta orphan-like — Mother, he said, don ' t you put on any fancy stuff for me ! ' ' But I do and he appreciates it, too! Air? Well I al ways knew she ' d get in wrong. It ' s scan- dalus the way she ' s carrying on. Betsy, there ' s someone on this line that ain ' t got no business on here. Ya can hear ' em click- in ' . Oh! you ' re chewing gum. Well, it ' s good for the teeth. Air — Well, I feel sorta sorry for him — He usta be an actor-like. — Ya — Oh, Betsy, I read an adorable book last night. — Fatima ' s Last Choice. — Oh, it was simply thrilling! — I don ' t know who wrote it. But, then, the author don ' t make no difference to me. You want to get it. Fatima is in Dutch when the story begins — what I mean is she ' s in wrong, and she meets this little Frenchie that says cheery and all that sorta bunk. Oh, it ' s simply thrilling! Well, Betsy, can you smell that? That ' s my potatoes. Bye — Oh, Betsy ! That baker ' s over there again. — Well, I never did pry into other people ' s business much. I ' m not that type. It ' s nice the baby ' s better — They ' s a new kind of Talcum Powder in the new ' ' Drug Store. ' ' Quite good, they say — Yes. Air? — Well — ' Bye. My potatoes is burnin ' ! M. Pray ' 31 O ' Henry Sees a Doctor There was nothing the matter with me, but I was very ill. I couldn ' t work, sleep, physician. He was young, somewhere between twenty and forty, and wore heli- otrope socks. I liked him immensely. He put me through some coordination exercises. Have you a pain in the back of your head? he asked. I told him I had not. Shut your eyes, he ordered, put your feet close together, and jump backwards as far as you can. I always was a good back- ward jumper with my eyes shut; so I obeyed . My head struck the edge of the office doo: - which had been left open and was only three feet away. The doctor was very sorry. At least he said so and closed the door. Now touch your nose with your right forefinger, he said. On your face, said he. I mean my right forefinger, I explained. Oh, excuse me, said he. He reopened the door and I took my finger out of the crack. After I had performed the marvel- ous digit-nasal feat, I said, I do not wish to deceive you, doctor, as to symptoms ; I really have something very like a pain in the back of my head. He ignored this symptom and examined my heart carefully with a latest popular-an-penny-in-the-slot ear-trumpet. I felt like a ballad. Now, he said, gallop like a horse for about five minutes around the room. I galloped. Then without dropping in a penny he listened to my chest again.

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lb WEYMOUTH HIGH SCHOOL faced a man who looked exactly like him. ' ' Why y — y — ' ' said the young man, ' ' who are you? Then John told his story and apologized for walking in so unceremoniously the way he did. The young man said his car had been delayed by a traffic tie-up and that was the reason he was late. When every thing had been forgiven, the wedding started again, this time without any- thing stopping it. The real groom married the real bride and we hope they lived hap- pily ever after, — but who can tell ? Marjorie Cass ' 32. Study Period A study period is usually the most boring thing imaginable. You stroll into the room, sit down and open some book, picked at ran- dom, and gaze about until the presiding teacher drops a gentle hint such as: Let me see every one studying, please. You focus your eye on the book and wonder if there is anywhere you can go that night. Your mind runs on and on. There is nothing to stop it. But that ' s tiresome. Maybe it would be fun to catch flies in the inkwell or talk to someone. You try your right-hand neighbor, but he is a conscientious freshman. Perhaps the one on the other side is a better bet. A conversation is started when friend teacher drops another hint, not quite so gentle. She, or he, is a twenty night friend. Your eyes ( ,aga)in wander to your book. Aha, here is a picture of some old duffer, who, you decide, would look much better with whiskers. These are such a suc- cess you start looking eagerly for some more pictures, but someone else has had the same idea before you and the rest of the gentle- men have all been nicely adorned with suit- able beards and mustaches. You heave a sigh, yawn, and give it up as a bad job, lapsing into a coma, from which the bell arouses you in time to loiter on to the next period. Sucb is High School— Oh, well! R. Stoddard ' 32. In Defence of Latin Just a few days ago I overheard one fresh- man say to another, I can ' t see how any- one could take Latin, and the other girl agreed that anyone who studied the stupid, dead language was making a mistake. But I don ' t think so. I have studied it (sup- posed to have) for two years and intend to take at least two more years of it, though I don ' t ever intend to teach it. I agree that you will probably never speak Latin as you speak French or Spanish, and also that you probably will never read Latin books freely. Then why study it? Because there must be at least a little ac- quaintance with the classics, at least a little appreciation of what is great and beautiful in these old civilizations to make a full life. In the study of Latin we become acquaint ed with the history of a once great people. We learn of their laws, their customs, their likes and dislikes, their songs, their poetry, and all this helps us to understand them and to appreciate their contributions to mankind. Marion Rowland ' 32. A Wise Visit As I was sitting ' neath a tree On an early day in spring, A wise old owl came saunt ' ring up, To teach me how to sing. He croaked a sharp and then a flat, And then he drilled me some. And after that we both did lunch On sandwiches and gum. He charged me for his wise advice, But I refused to pay. He said, Oh, that ' s all right, my dear, I ' ll get it yet, some way! So, when my pay day came around. He met me at the door; And when I still refused to pay, He flapped his wings and swore. That finished me, for home I went, And moved right out of town. I ' m now in Barnum Bailey ' s — Just working as a clown. Carol Scach ' 33