Westwood High School - Chipmunk Yearbook (Westwood, CA)

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From here the only effort exerted on his part is the mental strain of missing other “flivvers” and dodging telephone poles, barb-wire fences, rat-terrier pups, etc., etc. But this is the fatal stage of the game. When the person discovers that speed can be obtained without exerting a pro- portionate amount of effort, he sooner or later lands in one of the beautiful public buildings mentioned above. If it is not the second named building, i. e., the morgue, he becomes from that time on a confirmed speed-maniac and should be treated as such wherever seen. I firmly believe that man’s one glorious dream, the hope of getting to heaven, is based solely on his desire to secure a pair of wings with which he hopes to make better time than is possible here on earth. w t r 90 Father’s Experience with the Chinamen ADDY was always fond of relating stories of his boy- hood days; and some of his queerest experiences were in La Port with the Chinamen. One evening he told me the following: Chinatown was about a mile below La Port, on the creek. Every evening after the La Port school let out the boys would get a raft and go down to Chinatown to hear the old China- men’s troubles about their mines. Of course, the boys always expressed ready sympathy, although they felt none—and would have added to the old fellows’ troubles if they could; but they had lots of fun watching them at their work with their crude implements, often playing tricks on them when their backs were turned. This did not last long, for the Chinamen wern’t always to be fooled. Finally they told the boys to come no more. The boys knew they meant busi- ness and so the next day called a council of war. “What shall we do to them?” asked George, one of the toughest of the bunch. “They’ve told us not to come any more and they’re a dangerous lot when mad.” “Well, we don’t have to go near them if we don’t want to. We can float all sorts of trash down the creek and dam it up,” answered Frank; but it seems that would injure some of the boys’ fathers, too, so that scheme was given up. “Say, why can’t we fix up one of those things to throw rocks like we had the other day,” said one of the boys. “Gee, that gives me an idea,” yelled Dad, hopping out of his seat. “We’ll make a catapult.” And so it was decided. The next day they swiped enough lumber for a fort anil went down the creek about a hundred yards from the town. There they made their fort. Inside of

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carious foot-holds in the cracks and crevices. Deep canyons choked with brush lay between the more rolling hills. Farther west, where the massive buttes reared aloft, the deep canyons were of two kinds. The first, wide, with sloping banks, were covered with pine trees and torn with small can- yons. The second were steep-walled, narrow chasms of wind- and water-swept rock, bare and awe-inspiring. M. D.—’21 Speed 2fPEED is the bane and the salvation of the modern civilized world. Manifesting the desire for it, you see automobiles, fast trains, aeroplanes, flying machines, motor boats and steam yachts. As the result of it you see beautiful public buildings such as hospitals, morgues, emer- gency stations and lockups. You see signs like the following: “Stop, Look and Listen”—one that is seldom observed; “Danger! Keep to the Right”; “Speed Limit, thirty miles per hour”; “Keep off the grass”; etc.; etc. Also traffic cops. The benefits derived therefrom, however, are not so manifold— the principal beneficiaries being John D., with his Standard Oil; the Goodyear Tire Co., and Henry Ford. There also are a number of minor beneficiaries such as the S. P. Ry., Don Lee, Willys-Overland, and the Bethlehem Steel Corporation. The latter is only indirectly benefited, however. We are living in an age when the desire to go somewhere, or do something in the shortest time possible, is an obsessing mania. The supreme accomplishment that men seem to be seeking for today is a machine that will enable things to be done in “nothing flat.” Ingenious inventors have approached very close to this desired end. From infancy we are educated to this absorbing and soul devouring ideal—thus it begins at a very tender age. The first device for the accomplishment of this desired end is a rubber with a small hole placed over the mouth of a bottle; this enables the infant to take food in the fastest manner possible with regard to economy, effort and general tidiness. The device is very efficient; and as you all know, efficiency produces speed. Thus the education begins. Next he is furnished with a basket on four wheels which enables his fond parents to transport him in a faster manner than it would be possible for them to carry him. Next he is supplied with a small cart on which he is usually willing to expend considerable effort if he has been properly educated. In the next stage he is placed behind the wheel of Pa’s “flivver,” where he learns that considerable speed may be ob- tained without personally exerting a great amount of effort. 1251

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it they placed a large saw horse and then a heavy plank was placed on that with a strong box on the end of that. Then a rope was attached to the other end of the plank and fastened securely to the other end of the fort. When everything was finished they found a large rock as heavy as all of them could carry and placed it in the box. The rope was let loose and up flew the rock. The force was so strong that it flew straight over and fell right in the middle of Main Street in Chinatown. Xo damage was done but the Chinamen, being superstitious, were badly frightened. They did not know about the boys and their fort. After that the boys did not revisit their fort for a number of days, thinking the Chinamen would suspect who had done it. But a few days later an old Chinaman came up from the town and told the people about the great rock that had fallen from the heavens. The boys, hearing this, decided to try it again; so the next day they arranged their catapult differently so that the rock would fall in a different spot. This time it landed on top of a Chinaman’s house, went through the roof and injured one of the family pretty badly. Still another rock they threw that afternoon. This landed in another house, altho it did not injure anyone. By this time the Chinamen suspected something and tried to find out where the rocks came from. Three days later an old Chinaman passed the boys’ fort just as they entered. From the fact that they had obeyed the order not to go to Chinatown again, he thought nothing of it; but later in the day when another rock came flying over the town he told what he had seen, so two Chinamen were stationed to watch the boys’ fort. They were soon rewarded. Out came a large rock and sailed over the town. Then there was a “pow wow.” Out came all the Chinamen and the boys heard them coming. Dad and two other boys watched the gate while the rest cleaned up the catapult. When the Chinamen came, one demanded to be let in. They saw no traces of the catapult; so they went off and still wonder, I guess, where those rocks came from, but Daddy and the boys never tried that again for it was too dangerous a sport. (' o ’9 (271