Weston High School - Key Yearbook (Weston, MA)

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])late(l sliovel. Now if I had all that money I . . “Stop c ' luiiiueriiig! “Carol Chanihcrliii founded Miss Chamber¬ lin’s Finishing Sehool For Young LadieS. In the enrricnlum was an advanced course in “How To Get Your Man,” but despite this, she ended u{) a spinster. “Adele IMaillot, formerly Ada Morreale, the famous couturiere, has dropped the waistline to tlie knees, and raised the hemline to the thigh level. “After the trust-busters had liquidated the AiVP, thev brought suit against Bob Browning. It seems that Air. Browning monopolized the whole schmoo industry whereby all cows and chickens were permanently put out of commis¬ sion. “Alimi Hritch was widowed at the tender age of 19. Her husband was killed by plunging headlong into the goalpost while defending the honor of good old Oshwash U. She has now gone in for teaching. “Gosh, didn’t anyone get married and live happily ever after questions Triton. “Well, Lurena Ogilvie got married, but her problems were multiplied by the arrival of quin¬ tuplets. “Ruth Linder, a mere medical secretary, ac- cidentlv discovered a cure for remorse. As re¬ morse is an affliction of the conscience, the cure is against the dictates of this realm. “Here’s Johnny Melone. If we accept him, we’ll have a lot of trouble M ' ith the mermaids.’’ “Gee, wasn’t anybody really good in that class whines Triton. “Well, Miss Betsy J. Nichols has established herself as the Emily Post of their generation by writing a book entitled: ‘The Proper Behavior While Observing Ducks.’ “P. Bevington Green, now a master in the art of wielding a typewriter, wrote the now notorious novel, “Salt Fish’’ which is currently banned in Weston.” “Well, wouldn’t that jar you!” exclaimed Triton. “That reminds me, Gloria Heaney has be¬ come world famous with the development of Aunt Agony’s Hominy Grits. “After he was almost forced to retire due to a crack-up, Joe Tebo established a rest home for aged automobiles in memory of his beloved flivver. Thanks to the devoted care of Dorothy Underhill, R.N., he pulled through to win the title of word’s greatest auto jockey.” “Last but not least is Charlie Alartin, a mor¬ tician, who advertised to bury anybody for $49.50. What a planter! “I’m sorry, but we cannot accept any of them. Not one of them has met our rigid requirements.” “Hey, didn’t you forget some one? How about Betty Damon and Alary Taylor?” The old sea dog became livid with rage. “Throw them to the devil fish! They wrote this thing!” T HE Log 1 9 5 0 page twenty-five

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PROPHECY I N THE YEAH 2000 tlicre was a reat ship¬ wreck. Our ship of secondary education went on the rocks dragging the class of ’50 down with it. We are now in the depths of tlie deep green sea. We are conscious of the dark shape of the devil fish directly above ns and we can hear the pattering of the million-legged sea worms. Occasionally Ave get a glimpse of Mine. Zamprogno’s little red herrings sneaking past. All of a sudden the silence is broken by “Waa H oo W aa !” Seated on an octopus is a little fat old man with a beard of fire-proof Christmas tree icicles whom Ave recognize as Triton. “Stop the music!’’ Davy Jones enters Avear- ing oilskins and hip boots and sporting a corn¬ cob pipe betAveen his tAvo remaining teeth. “I’a ' c got business to do. I have 37 neAv applications for admission to the murky depths.” “What about entrance e.xams?” asks Triton. “Well, they all passed the integrity test. As far as character examinations are concerned a feAv of them are Aveak on morals, but they all Avrote fervent essays on “Why I want to go to DaA ' y Jones’ Locker.” Noav, let’s look at the records. Here is WinsloAv S. Cobb, III. He was a successful architect until he built the bridge hetAveen the abstract and the practical which crashed as the result of a mistake in the position of a decimal point. “Pam Robinson, super policeAvoman, climaxed her career by capturing the infamous criminal. Public Enemy No. 1. “Next is Boh Brownell who is currently play¬ ing at the Old HoAvard. They say he has been the recipient of more custard pies than anyone Avho has been hilled there in the last hundred years. “Janet Haynes established a lunar flying- record—around the moon in 80 days. “Dick McClure, the mighty man of the un¬ iverse, lifted one ton on his pinky finger. He also trained Mylon Lyons, alias Slobby Sid, for the universe monster-weight championship, only to haA’e him defeated by the Amazon Avrestler riA 1 wo-Ion lurner. “Speaking of athletes, Dave Colpitts didn’t alloAv a single run in his long Earth League career, thanks to his stupendous cork-screAv hall. What a pitch ! It Avhi])s tlie air into a maelstrom, and then zing over tlie plate for a strike. “Rinehart, typical run-of-the-mill capitalist, swindled Dick Mailey out of his business. All she left him Avere some ulcers and his SAveet smart secretary, Jane Cahill. In the end they made up and formed the Kigmy Corporation. They made a mint selling them to the Comin- forin. “Barbara Goulson, the super-hound of the gossip Avorld, dug up the scandal about the latest Eowler divorce. Miss FoAvler is uoav the merry heir to a billion dollars Avorth of alimony. “Next, Charles Kuhik’s doorstep Avas Avorn to a frazzle after he iiiA ' ented a better mousetrap. He ended up a frustrated old man from putting his finger into too many traps. “Speaking of animals, here’s Pat Hallquist, the owner of Don Juan, the fastest race horse in the world. And next is Joan Hodgson Avho developed a ncAV type of puddle-free poodle— stark pink. “In the entertainment world, two girls hit the big-time. Joan Carter, the comedienne, starred in “Clara, Get Your Blunderbuss.” Then there’s Margot Frye, the sultry torch singer.” “Boy!” says Triton, “you ought to hear her do, “Baby It’s Hot In Here ! ” “That’s enough ! As far as I’m concerned they can tread Avater for eternity. To staA ' in the entertainment Avorld, here’s Barbara Leach Avho Avas the cigarette girl at the Ritz, but un¬ fortunately she had to quit because she almost succumbed to cigarette hangover. “Well, here’s Donald Upham, chief photog¬ rapher for Vargas, and liis favorite model, Audrey Reader.” “M ' oav !” Avhistlcs Triton, “you ought to sec her as August on last year’s calendar.” “Stop it, ' Prite! Say, here’s a felloAV Avho topped the job at Brink’s hack in ’30—Bill NeAvell. He got into Fort Knox and got out Avith 5 million.” “He almost got aAvay with it too,” says Tri¬ ton. “Too bad he had to shoAV off his gold page twenty-jour E s T ON H I (i 11 S C H o O E

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CLASS WILL W E, THE Class ok ’50, being of good liealtli and sound mind do iiy tliis document and herewitli hand over and bequeatli tlie following articles, privileges, and eredits to the variously )iamed heirs and assignees and to their heirs and dependents. Robert Brownell leaves a ham to Jerry Taylor, that up-and-coming young actor— Robert Browning leaves his physique to David Mallet— Jane Cahill leaves her natural blond hair to a certain Junior girl — Joan Carter leaves her “shaggy dog’’ stories to Mike Mal- amud— Carol Chamberlin leaves a little corn liere and a Cobh there— Winn Cobb leaves the girls of Weston High— David Colpitts leaves four smooth tires, a hurned-out clutch, and a loose transmission —Betty Damon leaves a seat on the Lovell bus to Stevie Howe— Merry Foivler leaves all money matters to next year’s class treasurer— Iargot E’rye leaves with per¬ mission tliis time— Barbara Goulson leaves her inquisitiveness to Barbara Howell—Peter Green leaves to find his “ideal-girl”— Patrica Hallquist leaves hoofprints on the new school lawn —Janet Haynes leaves extra “A’s” for needy students— Gloria Heaney leaves “Hen¬ ry’s” jiarking space to Carol Dowd— Joan Hodgson leaves the title “Poodles” to Sheila -Mailev— Mimi Hutchinson leaves, unhajipily —Charles Kubik creeps out— Barbara Leach leaves to find he- “one and only”— Ruth Linder leaves her “aciiuaintances” to her sister Ellen— Myi ,oN Lyons leaves his seat in Family Life to Bueky Schofield so that he may carry on the good (. ) Avork— Dick Mailey leaves “those girls” in the Sophomore class to Gerry C’ohh— Charles Iartin leaves his gaudy shirts to Don Wyman Dick McClure leaves “C” period study to Miss Pierce— John Melone leaves to join his heart —Ada Morreale leaA ' es her domestic ability to Georgia Corhiere— Bill Newell leaves— Betsy Nichols leaves her quiet Avays to Bill Boughner — Lurena Ogilvie leaA ' es to do more homcAvork —Audrey Reader leaves tAvo aspirins and three cokes to the assistant director of ne.xt year’s play— Alice Rinehart leaA es a black eye to Lesley Field— Pam Robinson, leaving Avith her violin, bequeaths one giggle to Mary Alice Long — ' Mary Taylor leaves minus the fifty cents the “Crook” owes her— Jane Turner leaves Aery slowly so that some of the Junior boys can catch up Avith her— Joe Tebo leaves in a hurry —Dorothy Underhill leaYes her burned-out flash bulbs to “Squeaky”— Donald Upham leaves the dark room to the Photo Club of the future. Signed by: John Melons, Pres denf, Class of ’oO M iMi FIutchinson, Secretary, Class of ’IW Witnessed by: Donald Wyman, President, Class of ’51 M iss Hoavard, Girl’s Coach page twenty-six E s t o N Hi g h S c H o o L