Westfield State University - Tekoa Yearbook (Westfield, MA)

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And F ' rancise Sears in her new position as Dean of American Women, hath totally usurped masculine independence and sanity through her inex- haustible supply of pointless riddles and retorts proper. To Rose Shapiro came lasting fame as a radio entertainer, combining the talents of Jack Benny and Mrs. Pennyfeather, and in all these fields did she surpass ! And Gertrude Rintala hath perfected an instrument for exacting maps of the planets, on which she hath laid claim to all inhabitable land for future expansion of the United States in order to insure its neutrality. Unto Elizabeth Crean there came an opportunity to sponsor a girls ' basketball team, and she issued orders to all and they were obeyed. And the girls who joined the team wore non-skid chains and were taught to toss balloons through thirty-foot hoops. And Barbara Dickerman was directed in her course aright, and she went forth to Chicago to open a foreign mission, and it became her duty to teach unto the gun-men how to shoot to hit on roller skates. In her wisdom, too, Eleanor Ackerman became the head of a peripa- tetic school wherein all those who were teachers had to pay for their own soles and heels, and the pupils were blessed in that they were not re- quired to write up their field trips. Virginia Holt, moreover, became the proprietor of a factory where were made two Boston Bags on one handle to accommodate all the books and paraphernalia of school children. And it came to pass, moreover, also, that Bernice Whelan, connoisseur of food delicacies, opened unto herself a bakery wherein were featured English muffins every day of the week. Mary Serra, she also met a sorry fate, being finally confined to a state institution of another sort, where patients are nobly nursed; all due, no doubt to the mental unbalance she suffered when her treasurer ' s books bal- anced after only one computation. Margaret Richardson hath endowed the Glee Club of her Alma Mater with numerous operettas, one of which, produced recently, was entitled Howie Da-arling , the inspiration of which was a character out of Wode- house. Yea, and it came to pass that Santi Mazza, after years of experiment, invented a new species of permanent wave that lasted for years on ends. And an offer came to Katherine Foley and she considered it and ac- cepted it. And so she went forth and became an authority, and ordained throughout the world the clothes for college girls to wear. In the later days unto Evelyn Crowley came an opportunity to enjoy work as a literary critic in the house of New York papers because of her ability to find flaws in arguments and present her own points well and forcefully. After a little while, Mary Llewellyn journeyed to a country town and was married and took unto herself and her house the local telephone office. Unto Ann Connor there came an inspiration by which it was revealed to her to publish a weekly pamphlet which would contain all new and tricky phrases, and to compile books filled with all past and present de- velopments in the career of little Audrey. Harriet Richard entered into the Naval Office and she designed, with care and art, a multitude of ships and these were fully equipped. Moreover, as time went on, Frieda Barnes became the able personal maid and assistant to Edith Busansky, whom the Lord privileged to lec- ture about the earth on the injustices of the members of the teaching pro- fession. 32

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PROPHECY OF CLASS OF 1936 And lo, it came to pass in the year 4000 A. D. that three archaeologists were bidden by the people of their land to go and seek in the ruins of the ancient eruption of Mount Tekoa. They came, yea, and as they walked in the debris, one of them spake saying, My brethren, let us stop our- selves here and rest, for we are weary. ' And the leader of the men spake saying, Now, therefore, my brethren, hearken unto my voice according to that which I command thee. Go now, with your tools, and dig among these rocks, that we may have information to carry thus to our people. And it came to pass as soon as the leader had made an end of speak- ing, that a muffled gong startled the ears of the men. And it was the step of the men upon one ancient rock that had touched a wired bell. And forthwith, the men set to digging up the bell, which, when they found it, bore a mystic inscription ; for written there upon the metal was C-R-u-s- s-e-1-1. And lo, the three archaeologists were deeply puzzled and asked among each other what the significance of these strange letters was. After much deliberation and writings, one of them spake thus, This picture writing, my brethren, can mean only one thing. C. Russell must needs be the name of him who calls to task the members of his tribe, the calling being done by this very bell. Yea, verily, we have uncovered the name of the leader of this ancient country. Time itself has erased the true mean- ing of the letters. Verily, C. Russell has come from this : (C) ome (Rus) sh to the B(ell). And when he had made an end of speaking, his brethren determined to seek the names of all the members of this ancient tribe and all their occupations, that they might return to their people with a full account of this marvellously ancient country. And it came to pass that the three archaeologists returned with a strange list of names, and spent many an evening recounting to their children the tales of this wondrous people and their adventures. And this is the list as it was translated and recounted : And Rosemary Ryan was head of a ship which carried those people having no class — who, while at school, verily, were condemned to the sea, for revolutionistic designs upon the Senior unity. And Helen Richardson did begin in a little while to operate a bus and this was patronized because it was well known with what dependability she acted and with what courtesy she was treated at all service stations. And so it came to pass that Marjorie Moriarty began to conduct a lecture and publish a certain pamphlet to which the title was How To Be Charmingly Sophisticated . To Ann Cronin there was much that was inspiring and she wrote her autobiography and it was a thrilling tale to unfold. And the first mate of this ship, yea, a true daughter of Westfield, was Mary O ' Connor whose duty on Captain Ryan ' s ship was to keep peace and quiet among those aboard. And Beatrice Ro gers hath spent many a year writing a dictionary of terms in order that she might aid those poor unfortunates who fail to understand the bodacious epithets of Snuffy Smith . And Roberta Wall was head of an Utopian Government in No Man ' s Land, where all her officers wore naval uniforms and the school children learned to read from the Log . Yea, and the world did acclaim Muriel Marshall who had re-written Shakespeare ' s play so she could act Hamlet on the stage; and it was granted that she be allowed to translate the ancient Roman talkies and present them unto the people in Uncle Sam ' s English. 3 1

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And Sophie Pallock did run for President of an Independent political party, yea, and tormented her opponents with a maze of fiery diatribes and invectives. And Pinkie R ' ura was found pivoting on a basketball floor despite the hoop skirts for which she always longed and did finally acquire. Thus she pivoted and to no avail was the zealous guarding of Mary Kos. Then did Betty Enright become a fashionable school teacher at Ossin- ing-on-the-Hudson, and she did teach her lessons by many informal drama- tizations. And Esther Bartlett was found in a Swiss chalet balancing books on her diaphragm to keep in condition those birdlike tones. And it came to pass that Rita Neylon travelled around the country with a puppet under one arm and a soap box under the other. And lo, when the citizens there tired of her rantings, she did entertain them with a marion- ette show. And Mary Welch had private pupils in solid Geometry to whom she devoted the technique so effective in her own Math classes in college. Then it came to pass that Helen Baker at last revised the bus sched- ules of the Springfield Street Railways Company so that girls staying until 5 P. M. could get a bus without having to go through unnecessary marathon training down Court Street. And it came to pass that Florence Fox went forth unto New York and opened a shop for crocheted baby clothes and there had much success. And Ruth McCann came back to Westfleld with a group under the direction of Horis Dumpphrey and they did entertain the new classes with an exhibition of the modern dance. Neither did Rose McMahon end her career in teaching, but after she was graduated and had left, she took out her recipe book and revised and published it and caused a revolution to come unto the world of recipes. Now, when Lillian Rouillard was graduated, she was directed by a Chicago newspaper office to be foreign news correspondent, and much that was breath-taking did happen unto her. And Ruth Fielding journeyed unto a camp in the Adirondacks, and there came to her place a multitude of girls. And there were many health- ful activities provided. And it came to pass that Margaret Josko obtained a teaching position in Amherst, and this was good, for here Margaret was happy. And an offer came to Dorothy Gilman which bade her model for a wave set company as her hair was always so neatly waved. And this she did and was happy. And there did come fame to Pearl Bean, for it came to pass that she did concoct a magic potion with which she treated soil so that crystals formed almost instantaneously. And Ruth Warner did go to the ancient citadel of Oshkoshkow to civil- ize the women in their mode of dress. Knitted suits were last reported to be the fashion among the natives. And thus read the strange list which the three archaeologists discov- ered, and it was a tale of wonder and adventure that captured the hearts of children for many generations to come. And it came to pass that this tale hath been given unto us that we may give it unto you. Selah Muriel Marshall Francise Sears Rose Shapiro 33