Westfield State University - Tekoa Yearbook (Westfield, MA)

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PROPHECY OF CLASS OF 1936 And lo, it came to pass in the year 4000 A. D. that three archaeologists were bidden by the people of their land to go and seek in the ruins of the ancient eruption of Mount Tekoa. They came, yea, and as they walked in the debris, one of them spake saying, My brethren, let us stop our- selves here and rest, for we are weary. ' And the leader of the men spake saying, Now, therefore, my brethren, hearken unto my voice according to that which I command thee. Go now, with your tools, and dig among these rocks, that we may have information to carry thus to our people. And it came to pass as soon as the leader had made an end of speak- ing, that a muffled gong startled the ears of the men. And it was the step of the men upon one ancient rock that had touched a wired bell. And forthwith, the men set to digging up the bell, which, when they found it, bore a mystic inscription ; for written there upon the metal was C-R-u-s- s-e-1-1. And lo, the three archaeologists were deeply puzzled and asked among each other what the significance of these strange letters was. After much deliberation and writings, one of them spake thus, This picture writing, my brethren, can mean only one thing. C. Russell must needs be the name of him who calls to task the members of his tribe, the calling being done by this very bell. Yea, verily, we have uncovered the name of the leader of this ancient country. Time itself has erased the true mean- ing of the letters. Verily, C. Russell has come from this : (C) ome (Rus) sh to the B(ell). And when he had made an end of speaking, his brethren determined to seek the names of all the members of this ancient tribe and all their occupations, that they might return to their people with a full account of this marvellously ancient country. And it came to pass that the three archaeologists returned with a strange list of names, and spent many an evening recounting to their children the tales of this wondrous people and their adventures. And this is the list as it was translated and recounted : And Rosemary Ryan was head of a ship which carried those people having no class — who, while at school, verily, were condemned to the sea, for revolutionistic designs upon the Senior unity. And Helen Richardson did begin in a little while to operate a bus and this was patronized because it was well known with what dependability she acted and with what courtesy she was treated at all service stations. And so it came to pass that Marjorie Moriarty began to conduct a lecture and publish a certain pamphlet to which the title was How To Be Charmingly Sophisticated . To Ann Cronin there was much that was inspiring and she wrote her autobiography and it was a thrilling tale to unfold. And the first mate of this ship, yea, a true daughter of Westfield, was Mary O ' Connor whose duty on Captain Ryan ' s ship was to keep peace and quiet among those aboard. And Beatrice Ro gers hath spent many a year writing a dictionary of terms in order that she might aid those poor unfortunates who fail to understand the bodacious epithets of Snuffy Smith . And Roberta Wall was head of an Utopian Government in No Man ' s Land, where all her officers wore naval uniforms and the school children learned to read from the Log . Yea, and the world did acclaim Muriel Marshall who had re-written Shakespeare ' s play so she could act Hamlet on the stage; and it was granted that she be allowed to translate the ancient Roman talkies and present them unto the people in Uncle Sam ' s English. 3 1

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WILL OF CLASS ' 36 As we depart this college life Where we ' ve spent years of peace and strife, We wish to leave before we go Remembrances to those we know ; So we drew up a document As our last Will and Testament. For being, we feel, both sane and sound The class of ' 36 has found It possible to will away Some valuable gifts today. Our mighty chief we honor now. On him our blessings we bestow: To Dr. Russell let us pass Another trusting Senior Class Who ' ll hold his stories all as true, Instead of fiction strange and new. And so that he may never fail To startle them with some weird tale, We now present — don ' t think us flip — An honorary membership In the famous old Tall Story Club — As an inventor he ' s no dub. The Gentleman from way out West We find is next upon our list. A model school all up to date Where he may sit and educate, And practice to his heart ' s content His great ideals on management. And carry on with joyful ease His psychologic theories — This school we ' re happy to confer On our dear Dr. Crutsinger. The troubles of Miss Pratt begin When it ' s vacation time again. To her we give, with best intent, A strange magnetic instrument Whereby all wandering books are caught And safely to their shelves are brought, For thus no valued time she ' ll lose In sending out those over-dues. Miss Braueher took the wrong direction She should have turned to vivisection. She loves to cut up little things Like worms, or frogs, or birds with wings. And so that she may never wait For specimens to mutilate, A large collection we present That she ' ll dissect to her heart ' s content. Although the office is replete With material their needs to meet, We leave Miss St. Clair and her aid A punch-board of excuses made ; To save the time consumed each day Explaining why we ' ve stayed away. Mrs. Brooks, without a doubt, Likes to order folks about — That in her element she may be, We leave a Little Italy — Where she may safely exercise Her ability to organize. For Mr. Conlin ' s delectation To show our true appreciation. We leave for him with great delight A gift we feel is his due right — A group of students who will be As classically inclined as he, Who ' ll be well versed in French and Greek, And Spanish and Italian speak. Thus they ' ll enjoy and understand Great literature from every land. Plus the usual twenty-four Will be enough to help you through Your work— so that ' s our gift to you. Mr. Hawley ' s need is great For choruses that are adequate For operettas, concerts, shows. And what else goodness only knows. And so that he may never fear For lack of talent every year. We leave for his especial use The Metropolitan Opera House, With scenery, stage, and building vast, Orchestra, chorus and solo cast. In the incoming Freshman class, We leave Miss Lammers many a lass Like Wigman, Graham or perchance Some other artist of the dance, To join the graceful dancing group And thus create a famous troupe. Miss Lusk goes traveling to and fro, Her car is always on the go, As back and forth she has to steer Between the Training School and here. And so, expenses to defray. This bag of gold to her we pay, That she may start to excavate A subterranean tunnel straight. Thus time and money she may save By running through this little cave. When Mr. Patterson gives a test He ' s always very troubled lest By awkward chance some roving eye Should on its neighbor ' s paper spy. That he may watch each struggling dope, We here present this periscope By which ' round corners he may peep And thus his watchful vigil keep. Miss Eveleth has a great affection For making tours for art inspection: Old or modern portraiture, Landscapes, still life, furniture. This worthy urge to satiate An art museum we dedicate, A building on these campus grounds, And so from walks save students ' pounds. We ' ve wondered very much about Miss Robert ' s gift, and puzzled out A way to give her partial bliss — The gift— though indirect — is this: A well equipped gymnasium With lockers, showers, dressing-room Far distant from our school, whereby Her pupils of the Junior High May cease to have monopoly Over our College property. Miss Tobey sees with eagle eye The minutes speeding swiftly by After it ' s time to start the class So she can say, Go get a pass! That she may be more accurate In telling how much someone ' s late, We give this clock, which she can see Will measure to the nth degree. Thus no poor soul may pass the door Who ' s late by hairbreadth ' s sec or more. And thus our goods we will away In Westfield, Mass. this summer day. And to this Will our seals we fix, This 10th of June, one nine three six. Dr. Haupt, you ' re a busy man— You always do the best you can, But yet ' tis true that we must say You ' re late to class ' most every day. We ' ve figured out that one hour more Margaret Richardson Sophie Pallock Marjorie Moriarty 30

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And F ' rancise Sears in her new position as Dean of American Women, hath totally usurped masculine independence and sanity through her inex- haustible supply of pointless riddles and retorts proper. To Rose Shapiro came lasting fame as a radio entertainer, combining the talents of Jack Benny and Mrs. Pennyfeather, and in all these fields did she surpass ! And Gertrude Rintala hath perfected an instrument for exacting maps of the planets, on which she hath laid claim to all inhabitable land for future expansion of the United States in order to insure its neutrality. Unto Elizabeth Crean there came an opportunity to sponsor a girls ' basketball team, and she issued orders to all and they were obeyed. And the girls who joined the team wore non-skid chains and were taught to toss balloons through thirty-foot hoops. And Barbara Dickerman was directed in her course aright, and she went forth to Chicago to open a foreign mission, and it became her duty to teach unto the gun-men how to shoot to hit on roller skates. In her wisdom, too, Eleanor Ackerman became the head of a peripa- tetic school wherein all those who were teachers had to pay for their own soles and heels, and the pupils were blessed in that they were not re- quired to write up their field trips. Virginia Holt, moreover, became the proprietor of a factory where were made two Boston Bags on one handle to accommodate all the books and paraphernalia of school children. And it came to pass, moreover, also, that Bernice Whelan, connoisseur of food delicacies, opened unto herself a bakery wherein were featured English muffins every day of the week. Mary Serra, she also met a sorry fate, being finally confined to a state institution of another sort, where patients are nobly nursed; all due, no doubt to the mental unbalance she suffered when her treasurer ' s books bal- anced after only one computation. Margaret Richardson hath endowed the Glee Club of her Alma Mater with numerous operettas, one of which, produced recently, was entitled Howie Da-arling , the inspiration of which was a character out of Wode- house. Yea, and it came to pass that Santi Mazza, after years of experiment, invented a new species of permanent wave that lasted for years on ends. And an offer came to Katherine Foley and she considered it and ac- cepted it. And so she went forth and became an authority, and ordained throughout the world the clothes for college girls to wear. In the later days unto Evelyn Crowley came an opportunity to enjoy work as a literary critic in the house of New York papers because of her ability to find flaws in arguments and present her own points well and forcefully. After a little while, Mary Llewellyn journeyed to a country town and was married and took unto herself and her house the local telephone office. Unto Ann Connor there came an inspiration by which it was revealed to her to publish a weekly pamphlet which would contain all new and tricky phrases, and to compile books filled with all past and present de- velopments in the career of little Audrey. Harriet Richard entered into the Naval Office and she designed, with care and art, a multitude of ships and these were fully equipped. Moreover, as time went on, Frieda Barnes became the able personal maid and assistant to Edith Busansky, whom the Lord privileged to lec- ture about the earth on the injustices of the members of the teaching pro- fession. 32