Westfield State University - Tekoa Yearbook (Westfield, MA)

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THE TEKOA welcome relief after the ubiquitous casts she has had to cope with pre- viously. Item VI : To Miss Braucher, who is starting, in her usual vivacious manner, a garden for the dormitory, a pair of rose-colored glasses of high magnifying power, that the results may more nearly approach those mouth- watering illustrations in seed catalogues. Item VII : To Miss Fickett, we leave Oscar, the mechanical man, who never fails to have an edifying response to roll call, always volunteers for reports, and loves to take part in dramatizations. Oscar ' s low risibility quotient makes him especially suitable for the role of Comenius, although he is also superb as Aristotle, Plato, Pythagoras, and Socrates. Item VIII : To Dr. Haupt, who for three years has so faithfully answered our sometimes intelligent questions, we leave a seat with a strong spring, operating somewhat on the principle of a diving board. May such a seat conserve the energy Dr. Haupt expends in his frequent oscillations from chair to blackboard as he tries to correct our assumed lack of ortho- graphic powers. Item IX : To Mr. Hawley we bequeath a class of automatons who may, more successfully than our illustrious class, comprehend the intricacies of that musical lore imparted so glibly in Mr. Hawley ' s own inimitable term- inology, which presupposes a background of at least twenty years of music study. Item X: To Miss Lusk we leave one quarter dozen of pink Oriental slippers with extremely pointed upcurling toes, which she so likes to wear while preparing stage scenery. We suggest that they be worn only during those calm occasions when the Christmas play is being rehearsed. Item XI : To Mr. Patterson, first we extend our sympathy for the un- worthy, biased and prohibitory gifts that have previously been bequeathed to him. It is our privilege to be the first class to have the pleasure of willing to Mr. Patterson two revolutionary gifts : first, a hitherto unpublished book of the twentieth century, containing norms and examination questions most suitable for an international relations course, and in the second place a very strident alarm clock to occasionally arouse the class from its torpid slumber. Item XII : To Miss Robert we leave a class who may remain in these halls of learning for at least seven years, so that they may at the end of that time be in such complete possession of every possible detail included in the most unabridged dictionary of rules, that they may enjoy at least one game uninterrupted by the shrill of the referee ' s whistle, announcing the violation of one of several of said rules. Item XIII : To Miss Snow we bequeath a complete and varied set of complimentary phrases wit h which to encourage those students whose particular ability is not art, and for whom Miss Snow has such com- passion that she feels it her bounden duty to comment favorably, though that particular piece of art, even in the knowledge of its producer, actually cries out to heaven for vengeance. Item XIV: To Miss Tobey, an uncompleted mimeographed question- naire to be answered by those unfortunates who enter just at the second page twenty-four

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THE TEKOA CLASS WILL Mr. President, faculty, students, and friends: We, the class of ! 35, who are about to die, salute you. Contrary to the custom in such cases, and merely at the behest of my noble client, ' 35, have I called you to- gether before her death to hear her will and receive her gifts. Only the unusual circumstances of my client could have persuaded me to take this drastic action and to reveal these dreaded facts: doctors whose prognos- tications have never been known to fail have announced that on Thursday, on the thirteenth day of June, ' 35 must die. I regret the sorrow I know this will cause you, and if I had realized before how badly you would feel, never should I have divulged this secret. It is my client ' s wish to state that owing to a heaviness in the vital organs because of thoughts of part- ing — and to feasting, and to a lightness in the head, the result of the grad- ual swelling during the last four years, she may have unwillingly made an error in her inventory. But she gives you all she thinks she has and pays that you do not believe that her generosity is due to her rapidly ap- proaching death. We, the graduating class of 1935, of the State Teachers College, in the city of Westfield, in the county of Hampden, in the state of Massachu- setts, being about to leave this sphere, in full possession of a sound under- standing, memory and mind, and of lawful age, do make and publish this our last will and testament, hereby revoking and making void all former wills by us at any time heretofore made. Item I : We give and bequeath to Dr. Russell, our esteemed President, restful nights and pleasant dreams. We are by no means unaware of the sorrow caused him by our predicted and inevitable death ; fearing, how- ever, that even so magnanimous a gift will not assuage our President ' s suffering, we leave in addition a jig saw puzzle of the Senior brain. May he in his rare spare moments be successful in putting together the glowing but enigmatic and often entirely unintelligible pieces. Item II : We direct that our funeral services shall be conducted by our sincere friends and well wishers, the faculty, only pleading that our funeral be carried on with all the pomp, dignity, and nobility that our position in the college after four memorable years has so justly merited. Item III : We leave to Miss Lammers, for four years our competent and loved advisor, the opportunity of guiding another class that is no less appreciation of her splendid co-operation than have been the present senior class. Item IV: To Miss Pratt we leave that corner in the library made famously infamous by the boisterousness of the Seniors. May the silence that will enshroud that place at our departure arouse only pleasant mem- ories as the years glide by. Item IV: To Dr. Crutsinger we leave the remembrance of a class sufficiently ambitious and enterprising to promulgate his progressive ideas in a country where the visits of undertakers to bigoted and unprogressive teachers and superintendents are far too infrequent. Item V: To Mrs. Brooks, a puppet cast, always to be available at scheduled rehearsals merely by the pulling of a string. This should be a page twenty-three

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THE TEKOA ..«»it :» .. after the beginning of the class. The list, for the guidance of those who will complete it, is at present as follows : Why are you late? Didn ' t you know you had a class? Where were you? Don ' t you usually come to class? Have you reported to the office? Were you sick? What ' s your excuse? What was the matter? Why didn ' t you leav e sooner? Answer my question. Wasn ' t there a clock there? Did you see a doctor? Can ' t you tell time? Item XV : To Miss St. Clair who during previous years has been be- queathed an oversupply of bicycles, carts, scooters, Austins and roller skates, we leave a request that she share these conveyances with those coming Seniors whose habitual presence in the office will one day make necessary an all too rapid eviction. Item XVI : To Miss Boylan, $473.77 in nickels and cents to be used for E. R. A. change, and also a large spiral rack for those multitudinous rubber stamps. Item XVII: To Mrs. Pearson, a two-room doll-house, wherein the kitchen, equipped with paper plates and cups, shall uphold its honor with an unbreakable hot water boiler, while the living room, in contrast to our social room, shall be equipped with immovable, dust-proof furniture and dust-resistant rugs. Item XVIII: To our janitors, Ben and Rich, we leave not only our heartfelt appreciation for all favors conferred upon us during our four years here, but also a complete set of different sized stages, curtains, lights, etc., so that at a moment ' s notice they may push a button, and, presto — there will be ready for use a completely equipped setting for various col- lege productions. Such a bequest, we feel sure, will make it easier to cope with the demands of such exacting classes as ours has been. We do hereby constitute and appoint Dr. Russell sole executor of this, our will, written on one sheet of parchment, set our hand and seal upon it, this twelfth day of June, anno, Domini, one thousand, nine hundred and thirty-five. Mary Monahan Lillian St. Clair Miriam Pomerantz REMEMBRANCE My mind remembers My mind remembers Such little things : Such little things : The sudden cry The sly whisper Of a bird on wing, Of cornstalks gossiping, The quiet caress The silent salute Of the dewy grass, Of the silver birches, Lilac plumes waving Green ivy As I pass. On old churches. Catherine R. Devine ' 35 page twenty-five