West Virginia Wesleyan College - Murmurmontis Yearbook (Buckhannon, WV)

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Unique Perspectives During the short time that most students spend on a campus, many strange and unusual events come to pass . . . unnoticed. The follow- ing pages capture one such oddity. Whether the following account is factual or ficticious is for the reader to decide . . . My name is Wilhelm Von Camp Wesley. A short while ago I was coming back from my morning habit of watching Dr. Latimer drink his coffee at the breakfast table when 1 was abducted by three nasty humans who called themselves the Murmurmontis. I am a hobbit by birth, so naturally I am not ac- customed to meeting humans. 1 real- ly should not have been in sight, but it was such a beautiful day — well, that ' s another story . . . Well, there 1 was, in a rather comprimising situa- tion. I did not want to be turned into the biology department for their museum, so 1 decided to journalize for a while, so that they would let me go free. 2 Diversions

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MURMaRMONTIS WEST VIRGINIA WESLEY AN COLLEGE VOLUME 74 1984 ADVISORS: ARMINTA BALDWIN DEAN RUHLOW EDITORS TERI VELICOFF KIMBERLY KENNEDY

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My credentials? 1 would have to say that my age is my best credential. I am 94 years old, so I have been around. 1 have lived here all of my life and i have seen what really goes on around here. What I have not seen, Turnstyle has. Turnstyle? . . . Oh! he is my pet gremlin. You may have met him at one time or another and never realized it. Did you ever break your key off in your lock? Well, that was probably Turnstyle, he likes to take naps in the key holes. It is a combination of bad habits, he likes to nap in key holes, but even worse is that WVWC metal is his favorite snack. It is not that the college makes keys that break easily, it is that they taste great. Turnstyle also has a favorite prank. Did you ever look up at the chapel clock and wonder what time it really was? Turnstyle likes to play games in the tower, sometimes he jumps around on the hands of the clock. Remember being late for class? It was all thanks to that gremlin. Where was I? Oh, my age. Even though I seem very old to you, I am not. You see, we hobbits live longer than humans, consequently, my mind is still very good. I live in a humble hobbit abode in- side a big hollow tree on Agnes Howard ' s front lawn. You may have seen me once or twice in the wee hours of the morning feeding the field mice, or helping one of those poor rats escape from fourth floor of Christopher. Other than that, I just try to keep Turnstyle out of trouble, and keep an eye on what ' s happening on campus. Diversions 3