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Page 12 text:
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THE DREADED LOFT BBBBZZZZ . . . (That ' s the alarm clock) . . . Slam!! . . . (That ' s your head hitting the ceiling . . . Whoaa! . . . Splat!. . . Now you ' re on your back staring up at the ceiling that made the lump that ' s now on the back of your head, and looking at the loft that three seconds ago was your cozy bed. Ah yes, that saga of the loft. It has a long and interesting history. I think that it probably all started with the tremendous lack of floor space in the residence halls. Not that I ' m complaining about the rooms, they ' re swell for hobbits. But there isn ' t all that much space for you humans. Anyway the loft, it is truly a magnificent work of genious. They ' re easy to build, if you know the right places to acquire the wood. The simplest ones are made of a frame with four legs for support and a spring frame from one ' s own bed. Most of the human ' s lofts that 1 have seen have either a couch or shelving underneath. I must say that I really enjoy watching you getting, excuse me, falling out of them in the morn- ing before class. It really must get your system going. Another great asset of a loft over just the regular bed arrangement on the floor is the nifty and inventive ways humans create to make your beds! I have seen some humans throw their matresses on the floor, make it, and then put it back up in the loft. Most shortly discover that the true reason for the loft is that no one can see the beds, whether they are made or not!! 8 Diversions
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Page 11 text:
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If you enjoy the freedom of being your own person or would rather not be considered a representative of such an organization then staying independent or separate from a fraternity is most definitely for you. Though you may be missing the element of that high- tech fraternity shirt, just think of all of the other things you ' ll be missing as well. That monthly payment of dues. All of those fun and informative (long) business meetings. Oh, and let ' s not forget all of the raffle tickets you won ' t have to sell. Other than greek fraternities there are many other organizations to join: Residence Hall Council, campus government, a variety of clubs, the Pharos newspaper, and of course those nasty people at the Murmurmontis. Remember, if you don ' t really want to get involved in the fraternity scene and would not like a big old greek Titan looking over your shoulder, then don ' t worry, there are just as many opportunities out there whether you are greek or not. GO INDEPENDENTS GO!!! Diversions 7
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