West Virginia (BB 48) - Naval Cruise Book

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Davy Jones Readmg the Proclamamon W1th Peg Leg lgrnrlamairnw BY HIS IMPERIAL MAJESTY NEPTUNUS REX HEAR YE' HEAR YE' HEAR YE' I bring tidings from HIS ROYAL MAJESTY EMPEROR OF ALL THE SEAS and MOST GRACIOUS RULER OF ALL THE IN HABITANTS OF ALL THE MIGHTY OCEANS' Therefore do I DAVY JONES, Min ister Plenipotentiary and Envoy Ex traordinary from his IMPERIAL HIGH NESS NEPTUNUS REX IMPERATOR bring Royal Greetings to His MaJesty's Most Distinguished Subjects Captain H V Wiley and Commander G J King, and to all the Loyal Shell backs entering the Imperial Domain on board the United States Ship WEST VIRGINIA ALL HAIL' ALL HAIL' ALL HAIL' And to all ye miserable polly wogs and landlubbers do I the Rep resentative of the King bring fear ful warnings. Grovel on the deck in fear and trembling, Oh ye insignifi- cant tadpoles, and spend ye the night in serious meditation and pre- pare ye well the defense that ye will present to the Royal Court in contemplation of your grievous sins and pray ye mightily that ye be fi- nally accorded the Great Privilege of Entrance Into the Royal Domain. And to all those scurvy scoff- ers, that miserable riffraff from the beach, those unmentionables who by means of their insidious but fu- tile mouthings have endeavored to bring discredit upon the Realm of the Mighty Ruler of the Sea, to this scurrilous scum of the earth I bring dire warnings of their impending doom. Shiver and shake, ye spurious spawn spewed by the filthy earth ye contemplate the fearsome punish ment that awaits Notwithstanding this dastardly attack upon the Realm of the Mighty Ruler of the Deep, His Imperial Mag esty in all His Graciousness and Justness has decided to accord to these miserable malefactors the Great Privilege of a Defense, and therefore has had prepared a summary of the charges to be answered before the Royal Court Look ye well to your defense, and seek ye Mercy of His Most Royal Magesty the King Deputy of the Royal Scribe, serve ye the Royal Subpoenas to the Senior Shellback of each division Peg Leg then dehvered the subpoenas and the pollywogs now sensmg for the first t1me the real 1mport of the1r fate spent the mght 1n fear and tremblmg med1tat1ng on such cr1mes as these wh1ch had been uncovered by the Royal Detec t1ves Aroused much Royal D1sp1easure by smgmg Deep 1n the Heart of Texas Dld try to consume beer at Var1ous t1mes and pkxfsfamerthan1tcouhibe1nade Clalms to be a Romeo says he has Iooo women Is a mattress back Commando and prefers to slee catty Wampus Sald No 1nstead of No Szrf' to a Shellback Never shares food candy or women wlth Shellbacks , HS . - . . . . . . . . .- . . . . 7 . . . i 9 U 9 . . . 9 o . 9 . . . . 0 C I U . D I I D 1 7 . . . . - 1 ' 1 ' U 2 ' - . . . - . , ' cc - - ' . - . , 4 ' 7 77 . 1 I I 0 Q ' I I , . Q 0 o Q ' 77 -' cc ' o a , T 77 . . . - cc ' -' 9 , 77 . . , P - cc ' c 1 ' 4 - 77 . - , , , cc - 9 ' 7 I u 0 77 9 ' ' 2 IPI l

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i , .v,. Z 2 l , ii ,, , :' E 2 E Z :F ,,f, : Gosh I'm Confused! preliminary hazing the pollywog officers were shown no mercy. High on turret three the Casa- nova of the junior Dflicers' Mess was demonstrat- ing his famous technique on a convincingly attrac- tive but not too willing siren, and persuasion wasn't abetted by glasses of a foul tasting beverage con- cocted by the ship's doctor. In fact, as the would- be seducer started to shift his chair around the table, she leapt to her feet and screamed: HYou make one pass at me and I'll slap the lunch out of you! I The Assistant Navigator wandered around, tak- ing sights With an amazingly intricate but alto- gether inadequate array of instruments and charts, proclaiming the distance to Tokio in inches, while an odd-looking character circled the decks and mournfully quacked like a duck. Then suddenly, amid a fanfare of trumpets, Davy jones and Peg Leg were seen rising out of the sea on the bow, and the junior Officer-of-the Deck hurried down from the bridge to greet them. J. 0. O. D.: 'cAhoy, there! DAVY JONES: Davy jones, the Royal Envoy of His Royal Majesty Neptunus Rex, and his assistant, Peg Leg. J. O. O. D.: Come aboard, Davy Jones and Peg Leg, and follow me to the bridge, where Captain VViley awaits you. CAPTAIN WII,FYZ Welcome aboard, Davv Jones and Peg Legf, 1 DAVY JQNFSZ Captain Wiley, I bring you thc IIII af ip y ,Q .Q tv .Q.V.': f',, What Comes Next? I ! ! greetings of His Royal Highness Neptunus Rex, and I bid you welcome once again to the Realm of the Briney Deep. It is a great pleasure to see you once more. When last we met you were command- ing a destroyer squadron and We recall with pride the way you and your trusty Shellbacks gave the japs hell at Makassar Straits, off Bali, and in the java Sea. I am especially glad to come aboard this vessel. I am particularly pleased to find that the japs did not succeed in keeping the West Virginia out of the fight, and it is good to know she will be in there pitching again to rid the Royal Domain of those dastard japs. 4'It has come to the Royal Ears of my Royal Master that all is not perfect on the VVest V irginia. Therefore he has ordered me to meet the ship be- fore you enter the Royal Domain and declare His Royal Will. 'lSir, Neptunus Rex and His Royal Party will board your ship tomorrow at o7oo. I request that the ship break out the Jolly Roger at that time, and all hands prepare to welcome the Royal Party. In the meantime, Captain, I request that the polly- wogs be assembled on the forecastle and nearby parts of the ship and listen to the Royal Proclama- tion and hear the Royal Summonsf, J. O. O. D.: Pass the word for all hands to attend the Royal Proclamation! At this point the emissaries descended to the plat- form on the forecastle and read this proclamation:

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Svuhpnrna tmil Svummnna Extraurhtnarg Flhr Qlngal Might Qlnurt uf the iliagxng illizun Region of the South Seas Domain of Neptunus Rex To Whom May Come These Presents Greetings and Beware ' mhpfpag The Good Ship WEST VIRGINIA bound southward of the Equator TS about to enter our domain and IRHIIPYPEIE The aforesaid ship carries a large and loathsome cargo of landlubbers beach combers guardo rats sea lawyers lounge lizards parlor dunigans plow deserters park bench warmers chicken chasers hay tossers four flushers crossword puzzle bugs dance hall sheiks drug store cowboys asphalt arabs and all other living creatures of the land and last but not least he vamps liberty hounds San Pedro and Long Beach Caballeros masquerading as seamen of which low scrum vou are a member having never appeared before us and mhpfpag THE ROYAL COURT of the RAGING MAIN will convene on board the good ship WEST VIRGINIA in October 1944 and im PFPEIH An inspection of our Royal Muster shows that it is high time your sad and wandering nautical soul appears before our August Presence, and Ep III 1f11111U11, That we hereby summon and command you, 7 now a , U. S. Navy, to appear before the Royal High Court and Our August Presence on the aforesaid date at such time as may best suit OUR pleasure. You will accept most heartily and with good grace the pains and penalties of the awful tortures that will be inflicted upon you to deter- mine your fitness to be one of our Trusty Shellbacks, and answer to the following charges: CHARGE I. In that you have hitherto wilfully and maliciously failed to show reverence and allegiance to Our Royal Person, and are therein and thereby a vile landlubber and a pollywog. CHARGE II. CHARGE III. c CHARGE IV. . Disobey this summons under pain of our swift and terrible displeasure. Our fuigilenee is efuer waleeful, our vengeance is just and sure. Given Under Our Hand and Seal vbJ:0 .A'f.A'f.A'f'.f.7'.4f.!7'.A'fJ7A'f.0fJ.?..kfJ7'.A'f0fJ7'.Af.A'!'J7'J.7dfJ7'.l.Y .f.7'.A'f'.A'!'.A'! .Af'.A'f'.A'!'.!.7'.f.V'.!' Ar D . - I 6 ' 0 . SS. i -1-l 0' I 9 7 7 1 3 ,A . . . , - 1 1 ' 1 ' 1 ' 1 ' 1 1 1 - 1 ' 1 1 ' 7 7 7 7 ' 1 ' 1 1 1 1 , 1 5 T . 1 3 ll , . . . . . . DAVY JONES NEPTUNUS REX . V. . I fir 5 J Scribe Ruler of the Raging Main J?.l7'..l.Y'.A'f'J.7'.A'f.A'f'A'f.d!'.6f.A'f'J.?A'fA'l'.A'fJJ'.6fA'l'J?'J7'.!7'JJ'..0fA'!'.l.YJ.7J.7 .A'l'.A'fJ.7'.f.7 J.? .A'l'.A f'J.7'J.7'