SHIP WEST VIRGINIA X MY JOY IS INTENSE AT THE PROSPECT OF MAKING ROYAL SUBJECTS OUT OF YOUR CARGO OF LANDLUBBERS DRUG STORE COWBOYS TADPOLES AND ALL SUCH SCUM CALLED POLLYWOGS X REST ASSURED THAT OUR METHODS OF TORTURE HAVE PROGRESSED WITH MODERN METHODS OF WAR- FARE X MY ILLUSTRIOUS EMISSARY ONE DAVY JONES WILL BOARD THE WEST VIRGINIA SOMETIME DURING THIS AFTERNOON AND I EXPECT HIM TO BE ACCORDED A FITTING AND PROPER RECEPTION X I ALSO DIRECT THE SO-CALLED SEMPER SEVENTY-SIX BE GIVEN THE ROYAL WORKS DURING THE PROCESS OF CLEANSING WHICH MUST BE AP- PLIED TO ALL MARINES TO MAKE THEM FIT SUBJECTS OF THE SEA X EVEN SO I FEAR THE LATTER TASK WILL BE NIGH TO IMPOSSIBLE AS NO HORSE BLANKET WAS EVER FIT TO TAKE TO SEA X THEIR NAMES HAVE BEEN PLACED ON MY BLACK- Give Me Your Butts, Please LIST AND SHALL BE PRESENTED AT THE PROPER TIME X I SHALL BE WAITING AT THE BORDER LINE OF LATITUDES WHEN YOU CROSS THAT WORLD FAMOUS EQUATORIAL LINE AND THEN OFFER MY PERSONAL GREETINGS AND RULE FOR THE DAY OVER THE ROYAL COURT X This despatch was promptly followed by: USS WEST VIRGINIA cfo DEEP SEA POST OFFICE REALM OF NEPTUNUS REX From: Senior Shellback, USS WEST VIRGINIA To: Senior Pollywog, USS WEST VIRGINIA Subject: ORDERS Ref: Iaj Despatch from Neptunus Rex, King of the Deep Enclz fab Watch List 1. The USS WEST VIRGINIA is approaching the Kingdom of the Sov- ereign of the Seas and his emissary C3edunksforSheHbacks -L.- 1... I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I .nn-and
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i , .v,. Z 2 l , ii ,, , :' E 2 E Z :F ,,f, : Gosh I'm Confused! preliminary hazing the pollywog officers were shown no mercy. High on turret three the Casa- nova of the junior Dflicers' Mess was demonstrat- ing his famous technique on a convincingly attrac- tive but not too willing siren, and persuasion wasn't abetted by glasses of a foul tasting beverage con- cocted by the ship's doctor. In fact, as the would- be seducer started to shift his chair around the table, she leapt to her feet and screamed: HYou make one pass at me and I'll slap the lunch out of you! I The Assistant Navigator wandered around, tak- ing sights With an amazingly intricate but alto- gether inadequate array of instruments and charts, proclaiming the distance to Tokio in inches, while an odd-looking character circled the decks and mournfully quacked like a duck. Then suddenly, amid a fanfare of trumpets, Davy jones and Peg Leg were seen rising out of the sea on the bow, and the junior Officer-of-the Deck hurried down from the bridge to greet them. J. 0. O. D.: 'cAhoy, there! DAVY JONES: Davy jones, the Royal Envoy of His Royal Majesty Neptunus Rex, and his assistant, Peg Leg. J. O. O. D.: Come aboard, Davy Jones and Peg Leg, and follow me to the bridge, where Captain VViley awaits you. CAPTAIN WII,FYZ Welcome aboard, Davv Jones and Peg Legf, 1 DAVY JQNFSZ Captain Wiley, I bring you thc IIII af ip y ,Q .Q tv .Q.V.': f',, What Comes Next? I ! ! greetings of His Royal Highness Neptunus Rex, and I bid you welcome once again to the Realm of the Briney Deep. It is a great pleasure to see you once more. When last we met you were command- ing a destroyer squadron and We recall with pride the way you and your trusty Shellbacks gave the japs hell at Makassar Straits, off Bali, and in the java Sea. I am especially glad to come aboard this vessel. I am particularly pleased to find that the japs did not succeed in keeping the West Virginia out of the fight, and it is good to know she will be in there pitching again to rid the Royal Domain of those dastard japs. 4'It has come to the Royal Ears of my Royal Master that all is not perfect on the VVest V irginia. Therefore he has ordered me to meet the ship be- fore you enter the Royal Domain and declare His Royal Will. 'lSir, Neptunus Rex and His Royal Party will board your ship tomorrow at o7oo. I request that the ship break out the Jolly Roger at that time, and all hands prepare to welcome the Royal Party. In the meantime, Captain, I request that the polly- wogs be assembled on the forecastle and nearby parts of the ship and listen to the Royal Proclama- tion and hear the Royal Summonsf, J. O. O. D.: Pass the word for all hands to attend the Royal Proclamation! At this point the emissaries descended to the plat- form on the forecastle and read this proclamation:
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