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Page 15 text:
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SHIP WEST VIRGINIA X MY JOY IS INTENSE AT THE PROSPECT OF MAKING ROYAL SUBJECTS OUT OF YOUR CARGO OF LANDLUBBERS DRUG STORE COWBOYS TADPOLES AND ALL SUCH SCUM CALLED POLLYWOGS X REST ASSURED THAT OUR METHODS OF TORTURE HAVE PROGRESSED WITH MODERN METHODS OF WAR- FARE X MY ILLUSTRIOUS EMISSARY ONE DAVY JONES WILL BOARD THE WEST VIRGINIA SOMETIME DURING THIS AFTERNOON AND I EXPECT HIM TO BE ACCORDED A FITTING AND PROPER RECEPTION X I ALSO DIRECT THE SO-CALLED SEMPER SEVENTY-SIX BE GIVEN THE ROYAL WORKS DURING THE PROCESS OF CLEANSING WHICH MUST BE AP- PLIED TO ALL MARINES TO MAKE THEM FIT SUBJECTS OF THE SEA X EVEN SO I FEAR THE LATTER TASK WILL BE NIGH TO IMPOSSIBLE AS NO HORSE BLANKET WAS EVER FIT TO TAKE TO SEA X THEIR NAMES HAVE BEEN PLACED ON MY BLACK- Give Me Your Butts, Please LIST AND SHALL BE PRESENTED AT THE PROPER TIME X I SHALL BE WAITING AT THE BORDER LINE OF LATITUDES WHEN YOU CROSS THAT WORLD FAMOUS EQUATORIAL LINE AND THEN OFFER MY PERSONAL GREETINGS AND RULE FOR THE DAY OVER THE ROYAL COURT X This despatch was promptly followed by: USS WEST VIRGINIA cfo DEEP SEA POST OFFICE REALM OF NEPTUNUS REX From: Senior Shellback, USS WEST VIRGINIA To: Senior Pollywog, USS WEST VIRGINIA Subject: ORDERS Ref: Iaj Despatch from Neptunus Rex, King of the Deep Enclz fab Watch List 1. The USS WEST VIRGINIA is approaching the Kingdom of the Sov- ereign of the Seas and his emissary C3edunksforSheHbacks -L.- 1... I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I .nn-and
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Page 14 text:
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On Watch for the Line plus a platform, podiums and torture racks. Mat- ters of grave importance between Senior Shell- backs from each division were discussed in digni- Hed meetings on the fantail, and were attacked with streams of water by revolting pollywogs. Oflicers and men turned up with unique and strict- ly non-regulation haircuts, and the safest precau- tion of all was taken by some in shaving their hair completely off. King Neptune was evidently somewhat alarmed, for though he knew the Shellbacks aboard were trusty and tested he also knew they were greatly outnumbered, and the following message was re- ceived: HEAR YE! HEAR YE! HEAR YE! It has been brought to His Royal Majesty, Neptunus Rex, through his trusty Shellbacks, that certain of ye Box Car Tourists, Park Statues, Hay Makers and Other Landlubbers, attached to the good ship WEST VIR- GINIA and soon to enter my Royal Do- main, are treating His Royal Majesty with contempt, and are committing Acts of Insurrection and Sedition. KNOW YE and take due notice accord- ingly, that such Words and such Acts meet with His Royal Majesty's pro- found displeasure, and will be pun- ished by eternal pickling or such other torment,as His Royal Highness may deem appropriate. NEPTUNUS REX But the pollywog advantage was only in numbers. The Worthy Shellbacks were able to retain com- plete control of the situation, and on the day pre- ceding the crossing of the line everything was proceeding according to plan. That morning this message was deciphered: FROM: NEPTUNUS REX TO: USS WEST VIRGINIA TO ALL MY FAITHFUL AND ILLUS- TRIOUS SUBJECTS CAPTAIN H V WILEY AND ALL THE ANCIENT SHELLBACKS UNDER HIS COMMAND GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS X I WISH TO EXPRESS MY APPRECIA- TION TO YOU FOR BRINGING ONCE MORE INTO MY DOMAIN THE GOOD lSl
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