West Virginia (BB 48) - Naval Cruise Book

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On Watch for the Line plus a platform, podiums and torture racks. Mat- ters of grave importance between Senior Shell- backs from each division were discussed in digni- Hed meetings on the fantail, and were attacked with streams of water by revolting pollywogs. Oflicers and men turned up with unique and strict- ly non-regulation haircuts, and the safest precau- tion of all was taken by some in shaving their hair completely off. King Neptune was evidently somewhat alarmed, for though he knew the Shellbacks aboard were trusty and tested he also knew they were greatly outnumbered, and the following message was re- ceived: HEAR YE! HEAR YE! HEAR YE! It has been brought to His Royal Majesty, Neptunus Rex, through his trusty Shellbacks, that certain of ye Box Car Tourists, Park Statues, Hay Makers and Other Landlubbers, attached to the good ship WEST VIR- GINIA and soon to enter my Royal Do- main, are treating His Royal Majesty with contempt, and are committing Acts of Insurrection and Sedition. KNOW YE and take due notice accord- ingly, that such Words and such Acts meet with His Royal Majesty's pro- found displeasure, and will be pun- ished by eternal pickling or such other torment,as His Royal Highness may deem appropriate. NEPTUNUS REX But the pollywog advantage was only in numbers. The Worthy Shellbacks were able to retain com- plete control of the situation, and on the day pre- ceding the crossing of the line everything was proceeding according to plan. That morning this message was deciphered: FROM: NEPTUNUS REX TO: USS WEST VIRGINIA TO ALL MY FAITHFUL AND ILLUS- TRIOUS SUBJECTS CAPTAIN H V WILEY AND ALL THE ANCIENT SHELLBACKS UNDER HIS COMMAND GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS X I WISH TO EXPRESS MY APPRECIA- TION TO YOU FOR BRINGING ONCE MORE INTO MY DOMAIN THE GOOD lSl

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CROSSING THE LINE FROM DAVY JONES in the initiation No man shall be removed from his iq- i 1 T02 COMMANDING OFFICER, watch station either forcefully or voluntarily to l USS WEST VIRGINIA CINCPAC ORDERS WILL NECESSI- TATE CROSSING THE LINE X YOUR ATTENTION IS INVITED TO THE ROYAL EDICT WHICH STATES NO SLIME SEASLUGS SKATES SQUID SCUTS PANSEYS PULERS PEWKERS PIKERS PANHANDLERS WORMS SAND FLEAS FISH LICE JELLYFISH SEA LAWYERS OR POLLYWOGS MAY ENTER THE ROYAL DOMAIN OF NEPTUNUS REX X BEWARE X With that sobering despatch, received over a secret radio channel, nearly two thousand pollywogs were suddenly brought face to face with their im- pending doom. For it was now clear that there was to be no free ride across the line for them. War or no war, King Neptunels displeasure was not to be trifled with. No gold-brickers would enter his do- main on this vessel without benefit of the enlight- enment conferred by a thorough initiation. On her way to one of the most important mis- sions of the war to date, the Wee Vee's course lay through dangerous waters, through territory con- trolled by the enemy only a few months previous and well within range of still potent bases. ln fact, for an hour during the morning when the initiation was at its height, an unidentihed plane was circling on the horizon, snooping on this new menace mov- ing out toward the setting sun. But part of the crew was alert and on watch, our guns were manned and ready to send him plunging into the sea if he dared to come within range. Little did he know with what disrespect we treated his Emperor's hench- men. For Captain Wiley had ordered a ceremony unrestrained by the grimmer activity that lay just ahead, and in spite of the handicaps of a ship stripped for action, such an initiation as transpired has seldom if ever been equalled by a ship crossing the line even in peace time. The ceremonies, outwardly lighthearted, were conducted under the stern realities of this order: No man shall leave his watch station to take part l7l tike part in the initiation Each gadget and con trivance used in the initiation will be inspected by either the Executive 0Hicer or the Engineering Oflicer. No knives or scissors will be permitted under any circumstances. lt is reiterated that the initiation is a lot of good clean fun, and unneces- sary roughness is absolutely forbidden. We don't want to come out of this thing with a Sick Bay filled to overfiowing. Above all, do not relax fvigi- lance in fwatclo standing, youll! get yoznf chance when yon are OH fwatclo. It is realized there will be difficulty while you are on watch to resist seeing the show put on on the forecastle, but we must be alert every minute. The Nips have never been known to either give or take time out. The following despatch arrived soon after- wards: FROM: TASK FORCE COMMANDER . TO! ALL SHIPS PRESENT ACTION: USS WEST VIRGINIA ALL SHIPS THIS COMMAND MAKE PROPER PREPARATIONS FOR THE RECEPTION OF HIS IMPERIAL MAJESTY NEPTUNUS REX X ALL SHIPS IMMEDIATELY ESTABLISH AN ADEQUATE LOOKOUT WATCH FOR DAVY JONES X DUE TIME SHOULD BE ALLOCATED TO THE INSTRUCTION OF ALL NOVICES OTHERWISE KNOWN AS POLLYWOGS WHO ARE APPROACHING THE DREADFUL MYSTERIES IN ORDER THAT THEIR MINDS SOULS AND BODIES MAY BE STEELED TO THE ORDEAL THAT AWAITS THEM X Three or four days in advance of the event there were outward signs of the impending clash. Mys- terious apparatus was being rigged and tested un- der guard on the forecastle, A large salt water swimming pool,', with gismos alongside which had no apparent function other than to flip polly- wogs backwards into the tank, was being built, 3 v .,.....n......I

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SHIP WEST VIRGINIA X MY JOY IS INTENSE AT THE PROSPECT OF MAKING ROYAL SUBJECTS OUT OF YOUR CARGO OF LANDLUBBERS DRUG STORE COWBOYS TADPOLES AND ALL SUCH SCUM CALLED POLLYWOGS X REST ASSURED THAT OUR METHODS OF TORTURE HAVE PROGRESSED WITH MODERN METHODS OF WAR- FARE X MY ILLUSTRIOUS EMISSARY ONE DAVY JONES WILL BOARD THE WEST VIRGINIA SOMETIME DURING THIS AFTERNOON AND I EXPECT HIM TO BE ACCORDED A FITTING AND PROPER RECEPTION X I ALSO DIRECT THE SO-CALLED SEMPER SEVENTY-SIX BE GIVEN THE ROYAL WORKS DURING THE PROCESS OF CLEANSING WHICH MUST BE AP- PLIED TO ALL MARINES TO MAKE THEM FIT SUBJECTS OF THE SEA X EVEN SO I FEAR THE LATTER TASK WILL BE NIGH TO IMPOSSIBLE AS NO HORSE BLANKET WAS EVER FIT TO TAKE TO SEA X THEIR NAMES HAVE BEEN PLACED ON MY BLACK- Give Me Your Butts, Please LIST AND SHALL BE PRESENTED AT THE PROPER TIME X I SHALL BE WAITING AT THE BORDER LINE OF LATITUDES WHEN YOU CROSS THAT WORLD FAMOUS EQUATORIAL LINE AND THEN OFFER MY PERSONAL GREETINGS AND RULE FOR THE DAY OVER THE ROYAL COURT X This despatch was promptly followed by: USS WEST VIRGINIA cfo DEEP SEA POST OFFICE REALM OF NEPTUNUS REX From: Senior Shellback, USS WEST VIRGINIA To: Senior Pollywog, USS WEST VIRGINIA Subject: ORDERS Ref: Iaj Despatch from Neptunus Rex, King of the Deep Enclz fab Watch List 1. The USS WEST VIRGINIA is approaching the Kingdom of the Sov- ereign of the Seas and his emissary C3edunksforSheHbacks -L.- 1... I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I .nn-and