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The scene is a cozy living room in a large estate, hidden
deep in a rustic countryside. The playful shadows from
the fire, flickering in the open hearth, are reflected in the
contented faces of the celebrated diplomat, Rockye Sud-
darth, and his beloved wife, the former Rosie Grumet--
now the famous dancer. The two are not enjoying
solitude, as their lives have been blessed with a large
brood, one of whom is removing a dusty book from the
shelf. As Rockye and Rosie turn around, they see that
their son is bringing them the 1952 West High ZEPHYR.
Immediately they perceive an inquisitive air about their
young tot and know that they are in for an evening of
As Rockye's trembling hands turn the yellowed pages,
one of his youngsters scrambles into his lap and points
to a group picture.
"Gad, Pater, who are they?"
"Son, that's the D. O. class of '52-Glancy Bennett,
Warren Pate, William Wolfe, Betty jackson, and Annie
Myers. Unfortunately, most of them are now unem-
ployed due to their aversion to work of any kind. How-
ever, two notable exceptions are Bob Armstrong and
Charles Reeder. These two are now successful farmers
who constantly hum, 'There's No Business Like Sow
"I say, Dad, these pictures here fill me with phan-
tasmagorical trepidation," squeaks the tyke.
qAt this point, Rosie interrupts and shrieks, "How many
times have I told you, no baby talk?" and gently hits
him in the teeth with a skillet.j
"These pictures of joe Collier, john Ramsey, and julian
Robinson? Why, son, they're now the Board of Directors
for the Cultural Chamber Music Society of America, all
"Outdoor Chamber Music, I'd say,'i replies the
youngster. QRosie again gently administers the skillet,
this time fracturing two vertebraeg
Continuing, they find a picture of Troy Daniel, noted
vocalist, who, explains Rockye, now, turns pages for all
piano soloists at Carnegie Hall. Here is a photograph
of Paul Hodges and joel Greenberg, now studying post-
graduate courses in basket-weaving, at Vanderbilt, under
the direction of Professor john Rowan. lt seems that
Bill Lee, famed electrician, presently is in charge of the
tulip bulbs in the garden of renowned horticulturist,
Moose Marshall. just look at these pictures of Carol Ann
Tidwell, Jan Smith, and Dot Minton, now proprietresses
of the local Old Ladies' Home. "They always were the
quiet, peaceful type," remarks Rosie. Rockye mentions
that this old West clique had completely broken up
when Blanche Roseberry had eloped with Ned White, the
famed trapeze artist. Barbara Tyson served as maid of
honor. The last picture is that of Bobbie Williamson
who has long since become a nun.
In the meanwhile, we notice that Rosie has picked up
a news magazine. Peeking over her shoulder, we see that
johnny Pearl has become a famous big game hunter.
"From dames to games," murmurs Rosie. He hunts,
armed only with a club. However, the club contains
over 200 members, headed by the fearless team of Bruce
Aldridge and jim jones. In the sport world, we see that
Pat Koch and David Pollack have been accused of playing
crooked tennis, and everyone knows that that is quite
a racket. They will be brought up before Judge joe
Qellyfishj Knox, well known for his lack of determina-
tion. It is rumored that he will be summoned before
the bar. We might add that outstanding members of
the bar are james Adamson and David Boyte, who also
play pro-baseball for the Nashville Vols, during the
summer season. Tommy Roberts and Billy Clark, rabid
fans, sell popcorn and peanuts, in order to see the games
Thumbing through the magazine fedited by Sally
Payne, with photographs by Wayne Herndonl, we find
an impressive article entitled, "Are Men Necessary?",
written by Donaline Carter and Sally Sewell, and another,
entitled "Money Ain't Everything," by financier Clifford
Mitchell. He contends that a man with nine million
dollars is no happier than one with ten million. Editor
Payne, in a secret scoop, reveals that Russia has given the
world twenty-four hours to get out.
We, attempting to overlook the homey scene of Rosie
kicking her children periodically, return to diplomat
Suddarth, still rambling through the ZEPHYR of '52, and
talking to his precious brain trusts, most of whom have
their B.A. and Master degrees.
"By Jove, Father, look at that smiling youth," observes
"Yes," replies Rockye, "that's Tommy Nichol. At
present, he poses for the Tootwaddle Toothpaste ads.
You know, the paste that prevents rust."
"And this group of girls here?"
"Why, that's Betty Lee Barnes, Lois Lyon, and Bernice
Cutler. They're probably the best dance chorus in the
country." On hearing this, Rosie files into a jealous rage
and grabs her husband in an Indian death grip, taught
to her at the David Winer School of Wrestling. How-
ever, one of the children snaps on the TV set and the
program "Drew Ragan Sings" flashes on, and Rosie im-
mediately collapses in a swoon. Stepping gingerly over
her, we sit down to observe the show.
Drew is joined in song by Irma Dinkins, and together
they sing "Because," indeed a touching rendition. Famed
movie stars Shirley Averbuch, juetta Shofner, Geneva
Reeves, and Alice Thomas appear. QAs most movie stars,
each girl has been married six times.j Following the
guest stars, a girls' chorus line prances on stage, led by
Anna Brawner. Seen in the colorful chorus are Betty
Bowman, Marilyn Cassetty, Sara Daly, Yvonne Cartwright,
Phyllis Hessey, and Shirley Hays. The orchestra, com-
posed of such West grads as Richard Spaulding frenowned
piccolo playerj, Jerome Rosenblum fwhose gentle fingers
delicately caress the harp stringsj, and Darold Johnson-
baugh Qtuba tooter terrificj strike up "When the Saints
Go Marching In." We hold our sides at the antics of
Betty Rogers and Fred Selle, the sensational new comedy
Suddenly, there is a whirring sound as the TV set
jumps six feet, emits three rockets, plays a short chorus
of a Sousa March, and then goes blank.
"My word, Pater, little Socrates has pulled a wire from
our TV set," cries Romulus.
"I needed it to build my atomic pablum dispenser,"
replies Socrates. He is immediately throat-stomped by
Rosie fanother tactic learned at the Winer Wrestling
Schoolj, as Rockye puts in a call for the repairman.
A short while later, the TV serviceman enters, and he
is none other than Dan Longley, assisted later by john
Harris and Tommy Reid. The set is quickly repaired
and turned on. The program proves to be the "Gillette
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