Waltham High School - Mirror Yearbook (Waltham, MA)

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WALTHAM HIGH SCHOOL Bein' slung right in your direction, Mac, me lad. Barney was flippant but friendly with Mac- Dougall, the Bonny Scotchman who sat leisurely in the Shaw swivel-back. Got any courtroom scoops for the column, fellah? A couple, answered the lawyer, right from the judge's chambers .... but remember, news- hound, you're to have amnesia when it comes to knowing where you got this information, and you might give me a plug on the write-ups of that Sardi-McGarvie divorce trial. Sure enough, Mac, but how about those flashes? l'll need 'em for the late edition.' '.... Barney was all set with pencil and paper, for these Mac- Dougall stories were right off the griddle, and were usually hot enough to burn right through the feature column to a front page article. Well, biggest news comes to us that Newall Hotfoot Crolius has been under the usual one- two at headquarters, and finally put the ol' bee on the rest of the Collura mob ..... And do you know, Shaw, he put the finger on everyone of the gang . . . Bad Man Quirk, Gargantua Tum- menelli, Dimples Pound, Slugger I-Ioarde, and Trigger Pete Curran, and even Dynamo Tom- my himself has been numbered up ..... No, they won't be crashing the Old Ladies' Home par- ties in a hurry. Barney made his notations quickly, thanked the lawman for his latest edition to the Mud In Your Eye report, and added, Whats the story on the Goulding-artist case? .... I think she'll collect, don't you? the reporter inquired thoughfully. Perhaps you're right, murmured Mac with a peculiar gleam in his eyes, but I know very defi- nitely that whatever it is, it won't be much ,... you can't, so help me, get blood from a turnip! just what was the trouble with the portrait? Shaw was cleverly submerging into the scandalous for a tasty bit. The lawyer grinned, Seems as if this artist, Lunny his name is, was originally a landscape painter, and being always the artiste landscaped a few additional inches on the lady's left ankle. . . . So La Diana is suing! . . . . A moment or so later when MacDougall and his ticklish brr's had departed, Barney was ready to drop a line or three from his scoop pad on to the typewriter keys for his column edition of the after- dark publication ..... He rolled the paper in, typed out Here's Mud In Your Eye, and gave himself a by-line ..... Then, his mind scooped up the slices of tasty tidbits he had collected, put them into words, and the column read back: Biggest hit of the present sixty seconds on Broadway is written, produced, and cast with local talent. The show is No Man Has Eevrything or Playing the Field is the Sensible Solution, honors done by Greg Sweden Sarmanian, with G. Pomeroy, Esq. at the stage wheel. Genieve -Ioslyn attempts to prove during the entire first two acts that hero johnny Lewis is the man that hasn't got everythingf' but fails completely in the last act to fall into the usual clinch. Supporting roles go to Helen Maniace and Warren Morse, who, we prophesy, will be ring-mates before the last grapefruit is presented to the cast . . . which shouldn't be long now ..... In times of change like these, when all our institutions are being ques- tioned, it is a comfort for those of the book-worm- ish variety to look back with no small degree of nostalgia upon the annual convention of deans here in Mass. state, and this year's crop of know- ledge is represented in the forms of Dean Edmund ,loyal of the School of Mattress Testing, Deans Geraldine Nichols, Harriet Orleans, and James lfcnton from the College of Misapplied Sciences, together with Dean Douglas MacArthur of the Cox College for Heels, Charles Furbush, vice dean of Woo-Men Institute, Tony Bonica, Associate Dean of CauliHower Ear University, and Kenneth Arm- strong, K. K. fkute kidj, representing Chump In- hrmary ..... Dots, 'n guess what! .... Mayo Darling, of the Fancier Foundations for Freighty Females millions, has recently purchased the pro- verbial little white house with little green blinds for his betterhalf, Elizabeth ..... just a little gift from one Darling to another! .... The Jump- ing jodphurs Equestrian Academy, hoity-toity rid- ing school for fearless femmes, is managed by the prize-winning horsewoman, Mary Rhodes. Stu-

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CLASS OF 1939 Class Prophecy Barney Shaw wasn't even worried ..... that's why he took plenty of time leaving his typewriter and making his way toward the city desk and the editor of the Boston World-News' ,.... Shaw didn't even bother to knock on the door marked City-Editor-H. Carl Greene , but slammed the door violently, and dropped into a leather chair to face the youngest news-Mogul in the country ..... The latter was medium-done on height, had a hair- cut on the thirteenth of every month, and was, at present, coaxing a' few lip-ticklers to mature into a mustache ..... The subject of Shawls lucubra- tions looked up from his desk and regarded the young reporter quietly, superciliously ..... Barney knew H. C. had something on the ball when he looked at him like this - - - but he moved nary a nerve ..... You see, Barney knew lots about the man before him - - - lots that the world of jour- nalism wasn't even aware of ..... Readers of Greenes novels and the l'World-News heard that he wore lavender silk pajamas, smoked with an ivory cigarette holder, and always had a marsh- mallow sundae for breakfast, but Barney knew this was the bunk . . . just publicity appeal to stamp a mark of eccentric genius on the man with the pen technique' ..... Uh huh, Barney liked his boss, and knew that he wouldnlt be writer of Boston's most popular column if it weren't for H. Carl Greene. The city-editor, on the other hand, was torn be- tween a friendly affection for the reporter and a violent ambition to give him the well-known walking ticket .... For Barney's official posi- tion on the news sheet was dirt-digger-deluxe , and his widely read column, Heres Mud In Your Eye , was the cause of more slander and libel suits than any similar after-dark pen production on the news market ..... Where Barney gathered his scandalous and slanderlous leads, the editor never knew, all he knew was that Barney's write- ups sold more papers and caused more court pro- cedures than those in any other paper. You wanted to see me, chief? Yeh, Barney, I wanted to see you . . . about a little matter of ten thousand dollars ..... I didn't mind when you cracked in your column that fan- dancer Ruth Thompson managed her own ostrich farm to grow bigger and better feathers for her fans .... or when you published that Davis, the biggest boss politician this side of the D. C., was known to intimates as Stinky l. 5 . . No, Barney, that was all the O. K. side .... even when I had to pay plenty for both, but when you come to the point of printing that George Flash Wheeler, the watta-man of every track meet in the country, has a forty-eight name enrolment on his promised list . . . one from every state . . . THAT takes the punch, kid! .... Can't you get it through that thick skull of yours that women like Marjorie Glass, Barbara Whidden, Rose Laz- azzero, Lois Butler, jean Elder, and Marguerite Henry - - - names that certify the most photo- graphed models in the country, aren't going to stand for any report that they belong to anyones femme-jam! .... And that little notation is cost- ing ME just seven grand notes . . . as for the other three thousand, well undoubtedly have to pay that to singer Lilly Mansfield since you have nominated her singing as a swell theme song for the McGovern, McGuigan, McGovern Gurgle- Gurgle Mouth Wash program ..... You'll be running this paper into bankruptcy as well as your- self out of a job, Shaw, if you don't clean up that column of yours! .... Now get out, and go back to your snooping, but keep that sheet of yours newsy but not naughty! Barney had remained silent throughout the en- tire barrage from his employer, but mumbled in- coherently about keeping a dirt column clean as he made his way back to the desk in the corner of the busy cityroom. Well, well, if it isn't the ol' hash-slinger . . . I-l'ya, Shaw. How's the mud business?

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CLASS OF 1939 dents interested in conquering the horse-flesh are given instructions by fillies Gately, Hathorne, Walsh, Littleheld, Morrow, King, and Merino. . . and are the boys taking the bounce! .... Latest addition to the book mart is My Diet or I'1l Start Tomorrow written and edited by Ruth S. Greenway and R. Jarvis Mollica ..... And while on the subject of reading, we'll mention some of the BETTER literature on the What Boston Isn't Readingl' list ..... A Roundabout Way of Ex- pressing Affection by Richard Hug Me Storer, and Kilts written by Ruth Sinclair as a Scotch- man's apology for wearing short skirts ..... Ken- tuckey Kernel or Corn Liquor has been com- pleted by Mazur and Holicker and reviewed by Ernest Jones, that wet blanket critic that soaks up everything he touches ..... So go the literati, but from MY little, black book comes the report that the johnson, johnson, and johnson Detective Agency, home of the Sweden Yard, is now work- ing with a complete Dick Tracy disguise outfit. It would, however, be practically impossible for them to travel incognito, for even through Balkan beards we'd recognize that total expanse of Scandana- vian dead-pans. . Ernest L. Barlow, of the Barlow Garter Millions, will open a new theatre in Scollay Square next month with a stage production that we bet will provide the biggest kick since the depression. Barlow states for publicity purposes that the show will be better than bundling on cold winter nights - - - and lots more funl' '....' 'Bubbles Barry, Polly Foster, Rosie Ciarletta, jean Hub- ley, Pearl Walker, and Toots Mann will be fea- tured in the front line of the Barlow Beautified Babes. .... Dots 'n dashes from the Pacific Coast ..... We afford a hitherto secret glimpse into the backstage regions of the moviedom pro- fession .... , . Flicker star Gloriann shattered all illusions of her supposedly glamored past when she became the ball and chain of actor Luigi Dan- gio yesterday. It appears that the black-haired beauty HAS a last name, is NOT Polynesian, speaks English fluently, and is the daughter of joseph Cataldo of Waltham. Dangio made a state- ment to the press that he and his wife met in the trees during the filming of i'Tarzan Meets A Movie Star. By way of the high seas! .... Officers aboard the S. S. Heartbreaker, now anchored off the coast or Switzerland, recently sponsored a contest to de- termine just how popular their sailors were on shore leave. To Second-lieutenant Dan Guiney went the title of Heart Throb Number 1, and en- signs Popeye Dwyer, Dick Dion, and Dan Cal- lahan also came in the money. Eirst mate Herb Rand, however, was presented with the booby prize, because he's still writing letters to that cer- tain someone in his home town ..... The biggest bump to hit the literary world lately is the appear- ance of a very tall fellow, with soulful eyes, and :he dirtiest straw hat we've ever seen. His name is William Cail, and he has the oddest job we know of - - - that of conducting a centurian col- umn for Editor Sam Sabetti of the Waltham Peek- A-Boo.' '.... Mr. C. Chicken Chittick, famed chicken tamer with the Brannelly-Chute Circus, was invited by President Ruth DeVenne of the local womens' Knit-Wit Club to lecture on his daring adventures. Well, I wouldn't know how to lecture, chuckled Chittick - - - but I can imi- tate birds' '... . That'll be perfectly all right, put in Vice-President Elsie Lukens, and Illl ad- vise all the ladies to leave THEIR birds at home. . . . . Now, I ask you, if some tomatoes aren't over-ripe! .... A few hoti' sketches: Would-be gambler joe Petrowski when he gets a good poker hand laughs so long and loud everyone knows it. . . . . Seymore Silver began his career as small town gigolo as the writer of love letters for very young ladies ..... The absent-minded Professor Carl Carter of T. N. T. University, shocked students in his Why Are Pinks Pink? class yesterday upon appearing in those red, flannel things that grand- paw used to wear. The little man laughed, and said, I'm sorry. lt's just that I'm SO absent- m?ndcd! .... Today students Mary Aquilia, jim- my O'Conner, Mary Panda, Ralph Rood, Anita Begin, Tony Biundo, and Art Keith failed to ap- pear at their daily class with Carter. The prof received a note from the group saying, We'rc sorry. lt's just that welre SO absent-minded! . .