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Page 28 text:
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27 THE MIRROR bootlegger for a married one eitherj l1ad been apprehended vending ne-- farious liquids in his territory. Wal- ter seemed to feel a pardonable pride in this, but I had by doubts. William llflartozoshi, G e n e r a l Peirce continued, was the high mucky-muck in metropolitan Waver- ley. William owed his success at the polls to the fact that he was a per- sonal friend of the General's, which fact brought him the popular vote, and to the fact, also, that once he had kicked the stuffings out of aforesaid dignitary, which fixed him solidly with the khaki-uniformed defenders of our nation. s Another of our classmates-to wit, '- Joseph Lennon--mayoredc in Lincoln town. It is hoped that the Lincoln highways, and in particular the Lincoln by-ways, will be suffi- ciently illuminatedand patrolled dur- ning hours' to prevent-you know what. And Joe would be the first to see that done. f f - Three of our female: friends, ac- cording to Walter, had taken up ac- tive secretarying on the completion of their hectic high school days. L-ilm Chapman secretaried for Lincoln?.s Mayor Lennon, while Eloise Brod- rich assisted the Waverley chieffin his arduous duties. Wayland'st ad-' ministrator reveled inthe fact 'that he had secured the much sought-after Florence Jones as his typist. Thef1fe s aetrio of young ladies who have made something of themselves! V ' 1 By this time Beth had ceased her calliopic wheezings, and orderland a comparative degree of peace and quiet had once more taken' possession of proceedings. Walter and I strolled about, com- menting casually on this, that, and lots that Fate had assigned. Sone had drawn fron the grab-bag of life the other. Walter remarked on the ing the early and not-so-early eve- a rosy apple or a suculent peach, while others less fortunate had drawn lemons. I , One of these lemon-drawers was Anthony Aalorno. Poor'Tony in his ignorance had established a marriage bureau in that famous city Reno. For some strange reason or other Adorno's business had thriven not. We found a couple of fortunate peach and apple drawers in the form of Ralph Hunt and Pasquale Sim- eone. The pair were crouched warily in one of Nuttin1g's dimly-lit corners, counting money. Walter told me with a touch of honestepathos in his husky voice-that the moneyed pair were bookmakers in sunny- Tia Juana.-Vi ,. . .- if I ll Speaking from--.a sartorial: view- point1-Bernarci Lennon and Arnold Alcorn iwefre .Tperrffectg spats, double- breastsed ivestsqif-fc.reamy cravats, kid gloves-H-the tailor's dream. - iThis impeooably-attired pair, Wal- ter proudlyleold me, were actors--not the common ham variety, -either. That Seniors Play raised -'Cain' with our class, good b.oy?sg.ididn't it. ' 2-i ne.-thingl I have previously for- gotton-to' mention: while Zelinetsky's hot dog stand thrived rcompetitorless. there were three -balloon men! Thesef vendors of' inflated .rubber globules, Angelo Taranto, fThomas Boniea an-di-:James Bionclo, were alt sword's point. Price-cutting was in-. duilged. 'in sfo' whole-heartedly 'thatfall three were selling -at a loss.iuW.hen prices could be slashed no lower,-the rivals contented- themselves with bursting 'the other'sr stock' in trade. It got so that the poping of bursting balloonsf was 'almost continuous. The rivalry was so intense that fin- ally' all -i three ballooners -let drop their wares and resorted to satisfac- tionfoif physical 'natureu The Vigi- lant police ladies -each-grasped a com- batant Hrmly byi the slack of his i
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Page 27 text:
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y TgHE MIRROR, 25 in earnest. From private he had ad- vanced to corporal, from corporal' to the rank of next highest, and so on, 'till our classmate was a general, a booted, spurred, and medalled gen- eral. y Then one day while he was gen- eralling out in the stable, a hot-tem- pered cavalry mule was suddenly reminded of divers indignities im- posed upon his person by the gen- eral in his pre-general days, rose in his wrath Cliterallyj, elevated his dynamic hinders, and let drive at the abusive dignitary. He fWalterj was buried with full military honors by the obsequious fliterallyj Mr. Wentworth. After my old pal had saddened me with his tale of woe, during which I shed immeasurable quantities of: ghostly tears, I asked him about some of our classmates who had ab- sented themselves from the re-union. Walter told me that two lines from the play Maker of Dreams , namely, ' Let every woman keep a school, For every man is born a fool,', had impressed Betty Webber and Louise Carey so deeply that the twain had become school marms. Their novel institution was called Manners and Modes Academy for Men, and was designed to correct the stigma referred to above by the poet. A Mr. Peirce informed me that the above pair had two star pupils who were both classmates of ours. They were Arthur Lynch and Francis MacLaughlin, who have progressed so far in their school work as to be universally acclaimed the two most perfect fops going. I had not seen Rogers Smith at the dance, and as it was a most unusual and almost unprecedented occurrence for Mr. Smith to absent himself from any function of this sort, I asked Walter about him. Mr. Peirce in- formed me that Mr. Smith was abroad in Paris, studying to be 2. woman's man. You know what I mean-one of those dashing, debonair individuals who have but to look at a member of the contrary fmindedj sex and-Presto! Just like that they fall for him. Rogers had gone abroad for further instruction after graduating from The Manners and Modes Academy for iMen,'. Walter also told me that a few of the graduating sistren Cas opposed to brethrenj had formed what in known as a Husband Syndicate. A Husband Syndicate is one of these abominable institutions where we men are traded and bartered like so many cattle. Four of our lady classmates-and I'mlinclined to believe they're no longer ladies-namely, Sadie Mac- Donald, president, Eva Marcou, vice president, Anna Cormier, secretary- treasurer, and Jennie Marchetii, com- pany, owned and controlled this Hus- band Syndicate. The idea works something like a second hand automobile shop. If any female doesn't like her model, she takes it to the above four, who, with very little red tape or legal pro- ceedure, take her incumbrance off her hands, and for a small monetary consideration give her either another second hand model or, if the hus- band hunter wishes to pay more, a brand new one. And both parties go their way rejoicing. In this way we menare kept in circulation. According to Walter, much ad- ministrative ability had long lain latent under the shirt-sleeves of many of our fellow graduates. Rudolph Sunafquist, the general stated, was at the present time mayor of the thriving metropolis of Way- land. During the entire period of Rudy's administration, not a single
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Page 29 text:
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THE MIRROR 27 trousers and forcefully evicted the belligerents at la bums' rush. For the first time that evening I noticed an ofrficious-looking individ- ual attired severely in funeral black and dingy white, with button-up shoes and sweeping skirts. She was bustling about the hall in a business- like manner, measuring carefully the distance from the lower hems of the dancers' skirts to the floor, picking short black hairs off their shoulders, cautioning the orchestra not to play so fast, and tasting all the liquid re- freshments sold, all the while grunt- ing suspiciously. A representative sent from the Y. W. C. A. perhaps, or mayhap a she-Diogenes looking for an honest woman. Walter jerked a thumb over his shoulder at the troublesome female, and, with a note of contempt in his voice, said that it was Audrey Clark. Well, worse things have been known to happen, you know. It was rapidly nearing the mid- night hour, and cessation of festivi- ties was in order. Already couples were leaving the floor, and their moist adieus mingled with the last- minute bawlings of the Hot Dog King, trying for a complete sell-out. The southern section of the audi- torium was already emptied, and the crowd was milling about the check room, receiving other men's hats, and other women's umbrellas, when in rushed Mildred Isaakson Fay, late as usual. Mildred explained breathless- ly that the youngest, Edward Junior, had been fussing and fretting and bawling and what-not all the evening, so that she couldn,t get away before. Mildred added that he was now un- der the sink, probably howling as loudly as ever. Poor Mildred would have another sorrow to add to those already ac- quired when the news of the untime- ly end of her spouse should be gent- ly broken to her. Or would it be a sorrow? As I have said, the southern sec- tion of the floor was already deserted. In fact, two scrub-ladies had already commenced their task of cleaning up after the none-too careful revelers. Walter sadly pointed them out to me as Helen Roerzey and Sylvia Meyerovrteh. Fate had certainly handed them one of those yellow- jacketed citrus fruits with a ven- geance. And they had been so prom- ising! Y Preceeding the pair of dirt-chasers in their rounds was one of those dance-hall beach-comber persons who wander about in the carnage of rev- elry, searching for such lost articles as money, pocket handkerchiefs, or cigar stubs. The general, his sad- dened voice still.-husky, told me that this misguided individual was no other than Gerirade Berman who had married early and unfortunately. Served her rightg she should have known better. As I have said, the crowd was milling and surging refluently about the check-room, getting other folks' misfits and hand-me-downs. The check-room ladies I found to be Eliz- abeth MaeDerm0tt and Ursula Koh- ler, who had received their check- room training as telephone operators, where they had mastered the difficult art of handing out undesirable num- bers. The hall was fast emptying. The orchestrians were encasing their in- struments, windows were being locked, doors closed and bolted. In a few moments the hall was desert- ed, an echoing chasm. painfully void of all except the memories, memories of days long gone by, of pals since lost to mind, but never entirely for- gotten. The l928 Reunion Dance was ended. .s, J. 4, J. ,D ,,. ,D -,.
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