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Page 18 text:
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THE WALNUT TREE CLASS WILL We, the members of the Senior Class of Walnut High School, being of sound mind and memory do hereby make, publish, and declare the following to be our Last Will and Testament, hereby revoking all former wills by us made. SECTION ONE Bequests to the Faculty 1. To our dearly beloved faculty we do bequeath another dignified Senior Class as well behaved as we have been. 2. To Mr. Snider, we do bequeath a Stop and Go signal for the upper corridor. 3 To Mr. Lobaugh we do bequeath a new automobile that obeys traffic regulations . 4. To Miss Noret we do bequeath a radio for the English room to save her the trouble of traveling to the Science room next door. 5. To Miss Cochran we do bequeath enough packages of chewing gum to last her through vacation. 6. To M18s Cleaveland we do bequeath a gravy ladle for sampling student cooking. 7. To Mr. Winger we do bequeath our Horaemaking abilities for his future happiness . 8. To Mr. Hatland we do bequeath a new Chevrolet to take the place of bis Ford so he may always be on time. 9. To Mrs. Kelgwln we do bequeath a highly spirited class to teach her the Modern instead of the Dead” language. 10. To Miss Strouss we do bequeath several more years of single blessedness. SECTION TWO Bequests to the Classes 1. To the Junior Class we do bequeath our straight and narrow path of Industry to lead them to success. 2. To the Sophomore Class we do bequeath our unsurpassed Dignity and Self-Reserve. 3. To the Freshman Class we do bequeath our finished nature to replace their greenness. SECTION THREE Bequests to the Janitors 1. To Silas we do bequeath a ride with Sir Malcolm Campbell so that he will relish walking to school. 2. To Steve we do bequeath an interview with Mr. Hatland, our home room Instructor, on how to keep dairy cows. SECTION FOUR Individual Bequests I, Ethylmae Baumgartner, do bequeath my wiap-like form to Helen Upton. I, Herbert Braasch, do bequeath my farming ability to Irvin Nellck. I, Aurell Burkey, do bequeath my right to blush at all times to Myron Plum. I, Willard Burkey, do bequeath ray boldness to Sheldon Fordhara. I, Beverley Durham, do bequeath ray innocence to Ellen Guither. I, Elaine Epperson, do bequeath my lease on radio salesmen to Nona Glaze. I, Viona Guither, do bequeath my golden locks to Maxine McGonigle. I, Floyd Hornback, do bequeath my permanent wave to Charles White. I, Elsie Jensen, do bequeath ray Model T to Wallace Bass. I, Shirley Kerchner, do bequeath my love for dancing to Martha Elsele. I, Elaine Kranov, do bequeath my Jazz playing to Priscilla Forney. I, Pauline McMalns do bequeath my late hours to Gertrude Renwick. I, Margaret Mau, do bequeath my adoration of minister4s sons to Mary Jane Hewitt. I, Evelyn Moodle, do bequeath my shyness to Leslee Bishop. I, Franklyn Nellck, do bequeath my outstanding brass to Gladys Renner. I, Earvin Peach, do bequeath my studious habits to Marvin Guither. I, Joe Perino. do bequeath my courteousness to Ned Lewis. It Marie Pierson, do bequeath ay Homemaking ability to Emmajune Brooks. I, Winnlfred Pierson, do bequeath ray speaking voice to Dale Carlson. I, Janet Schoaf, do bequeath my love for the study of Stone to Ruby Hunter. I, Marilyn Smith, do bequeath my interest in cow-testers to Lois Sprinkle. I, Gall Stone, do bequeath my dally slumbers to Cora Dale Craig. I, Grace Strouss, do bequeath my violin to Marilyn Heaton. I, Lavern Tornow, do bequeath my flirtatious ways to Marjorie Broers. I, Lois Wallace, do bequeath my reckless rides with Lavern Tornow to Shirley Gallentlne. I, Richard Whitver, do bequeath my best brand of hair oil to Benjamin Ode 11 I, Clifton Winger, do bequeath my charm with the fairer sex to Clifford Heaton Signed this twentieth day of March. 36. SENIORS.
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Page 17 text:
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THE WALNUT TREE seen Gall Stone and hia wife, who was the former Janet Schoaf. Gall had discovered a secret formula which takes the glow out of glow worms. The glow is then put In false teeth. The Stones are reputed to be rich, but you know how It goes. It doesn't seem to me there could be much money In this business. Going on down the street, I came to a carnival, and since I was always Interested in such things. I stopped. I was interested in a girl who was giving an exhibition on a platform in front of the main tent. She wore a veil and was costumed as an Oriental dancing girl. When she took off her veil,I discovered that it was Elaine Epperson. She told me that her barker, who in real life is Lavern Tornow, had enticed her to leave the home life of the farm and start on a career of hardship,heart-ache, back-ache, tooth-ache, and even a little tonsllitis. She even said that this cruel brute had followed the form suggested in the song, The Man on the Flying Trapeze. she even said that he made her take the place of the tent poles when they ran short.because she was still as slender as a wil- low wand. A Salvation Army band was playing on one corner of the plaza of the Hotel Glenn and a pretty little lassy solicited my donation. Fancy meeting Beverley Durham in a band of this type. She had worked her way up to a position corresponding with that of Amie Semple McPherson, a prominent evangilist of our time . She said that she had traveled far in the hope of meeting a true caveman. She found none, but heard that there was one in Hindustan. When she got there the caveman was gone and so she ministered to the natives. She had returned to this country with her colleague, Lois Wallace who was at this time playing the bass horn in the band. Beverley informed me that Lois had become a sort of a wanderer and when she had picked her up, she was working as a machinist's helper in Communistic Russia. As I continued on my unhurried way, I met the Pierson sisters. I asked them what they were doing now and they offered to show me. It had been quite a while since I had eaten at Maggie's, so I went with them hoping to get some nourishment. They took me to an imposing building on the banks of Walnut Creek. They told me that they had been running a successful salmon hatchery for many years and had the distinction of having cultivated the first salmon in Bureau County. They offered to give me a salmon to take with me, but since my pockets were full of holes already I was forced to decline. Evelyn Moodie was the chief fisher for the outfit and was at the time supporting her husband and three children through the use of her hook and line. She was doing quite well and offered to give me a practical lesson in salmon fishing but this I could not accept. I went back up town and being thirsty I decided to drop in somewhere and try to bounce back to normal with a Coca-Cola. I went into a respectable looking Joint and was amazed when Ethylmae Baumgartner waited on me. When she told me that this place was an exclusive ladles' bowling alley and billiard parlor,I almost swooned from exhaustion, shock, malnutrition, and all the other ravages of a mlsspent youth. As I rushed to leave the place, I nearly collided with a portly woman and a companion who rushed in the door with a crow-bar and a hatchet. It was Grace Strouss and Mary Elaine Kranov. They had taken up where Carry A. Nation had left off.Tbey had spread a reign of terror from Cicero to Normandy and back to Cicero again. At the time they were on their way back to Normandy again.Vlona Oulther, the man behind the gun as it were, was head of the organization and often masqueraded as a pickpocket to see how many people carried flasks. After apoligiz-ing to Ethylmae for suspecting that she had liquor in her emporium, they left. Grace was swinging her hatchet and Mary Elaine was shouting to come and be saved by the anti-intoxication society. I started to leave town and upon going down the C. B. Q. tracks, preparatory to hopping on to my private stock-car, I espied a fellow who was hopping thither and yon, from flower to flower, and when I looked at him closer I ascertained that it was Jumping Joe Perino. I asked him why all the happiness and he told me that he had found the fountain of youth and that he was out peddling some of the stuff, which he called Old Crow Youth Water, in gallon Jugs. Joe was always a good hearted fellow and he gave me a sip.Wow ! It didn't taste like youth water to me, but I had neglected to care whether it did or not. I glanced over my shoulder and saw the sun setting in the East,the entire planetary system having been rearranged by Einstein. I went along in leaps and bounds which exceeded even those of Joe's And now dear friends, I must leave thee. There were tears in my eyes, no vest to my suit, and a coat on ray tongue, as I scampered away. I only hope that I'll be able to see all of this motely throng again some day. --By Franklyn Nelick i
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