Vanderbilt University - Commodore Yearbook (Nashville, TN)

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Dfilflljlll' blzmclers and Ofl1Gl'jtlllI pus: Aj You passed out-skip to QB. BQ Your date passed out and you're sober-skip to QD. Cl Your date passed out and you're about to-skip to 912. Dj You told her, after one or six too many, why you're interested in her. Dumb move-skip to QF. EJ You did something dreadful-like l3ClL'l'1iI'1ff aloud Jiel'in1f your at il X w. nose when she could see, playfully dropping her into a punehbowl. or telling her an interesting story about her best friend and two marines. Skip to QF. FJ She disappeared with another guy tthese guvs are generally best friends, fraternity brothers, or suitemates. Life is roughj. Skip to CBC' . 1 . CJ , You picked up, during the course ot' this date, a better one. xrmeii your step very carefully as you skip to QH. 7f I zconrler .......... H AQ If you are a coward, go on to QC. BQ If youlre not, proceed to 8. 8! Trying Al Setting the mood: 15 29 W'ant a drink? tlieally, in theory it should be the same to say 'iVVant a beer? but somehow it's different. I suppose thatis because we were all exposed to james Bond movies as children. At any rate, make it a drink rather than a beer if you possibly canj. VVhat music do you like'Pi' lt's a wise idea to ask this question, even though she'll probably Want to hear Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, or something else that you don't have. Even so, she will eventually choose something you have, and she'll feel more at home. BJ The well, here goes nothing phase ll 9-D ll 27 Following is for iinpetuous animals, is for everyone else. Attack. It it works, it Works. If not, you've blown it in the worst possible way. Vllalking or taking her houie sometime within the next 24 hours might be a nice gesture. lf you blew it, go on to QA. Let your arm fall idly about her shoulder, then immediately reappraise the situation according to her reaction. You need to be cautious. Here again, if it works, it works. Take all the hints she might give, like tearing your hands from her in a rage or kneeing you in the groin. Girls do these little things to indicate subtle disapproval. These signals are seldom intended to be taken as final, however, so if you get by with anything short of a flesh wound, dou't be too discouraged. Depending on what happened, go on to 9 and select the appropriate end. teontinued page 265

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9! Taking her home or otherwise ending the date: AD Bl Cl DD ED F7 GD HP You are a general turkey in no-trump. Take her on home and be polite. Itis the least you could do. And don't try anything at the door, klutz. Next time, try to be more human. Start over at 1. Kick yourself repeatedly for being a complete ass, then go to 9A, UNLESS she passed out too. If she passed out before you did, try to act like you didnit. Be brotherly and understanding, then progress to 9C. Take her home fto her homej and hope she invites you up. Take her home Cto her homey and turn her over to the girls on her hall or her roommates or whatever. That is, unless you can find another date. If you can't, life is rough. If you can, look at 9H and proceed with caution. It is generally considered bad manners to abandon a girl who is passed out cold in a part of town that she is wholly unfamiliar with, sell her to turks or white slavers, or take advantage of inebriation in any other way. If it's at all convenient, try to see that the poor girl gets home. Itis probably not her fault. Now you don't believe that and neither do I, but imagine what sheill tell her friends if she wakes up tomorrow morning on the tables in Charlie's O.K. Corrale and Lounge. You might want to go out with one of those friends some day. Take her home fto your homej. Now this isnit as licentious as it may sound. If you've had that much to drink, you probably don't have enough walking moments left that you can make it all the way to her dorm, hassle With her friends, and then make it all the way home before you cash your food coupons for the evening. If you are feeling really polite Qand I don't know many people who are feeling really polite when they're just this side of making the beets listj you ought to find somewhere else to sleep. If you're normal, play it by ear. If you wake up together, chances for a deep and meaningful relationship have increased manifold. Brushing your teeth before you proceed to get deep and meaningful is a good logistic as well as hygenic move, though from a tactical! strategic perspective, it may be a bit much. f Hey, We both seem to have awakened. Why don't we brush our teeth, then get back in bed and see what happens?,,j. You can see the error in this approach. On the other hand, if just play it by ear, she may reward you for being so understanding, as well as bribe you not to tell anybody what happened. It can be a very cozy arrangement, especially since you passed out, too. She might be interested andfor turned on by this sort of thing. If it looks like she is, try your luck at 8. If not, it's another case of 9A. Read it over just for future reference, then go on to QC. You lose, buckwheat. Find yourself another girl, which means going back to 1. Extremely sticky situation. You might, just for the sake of propriety, take date A home before beginning with date B, but if things look really promising and! or inviting fget it?l spend about five minutes thinking about it, then go immediately to 7, if possible. .