University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA)

 - Class of 1895

Page 38 of 226

 

University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) online yearbook collection, 1895 Edition, Page 38 of 226
Page 38 of 226



University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) online yearbook collection, 1895 Edition, Page 37
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Page 38 text:

P (who has been writing) : ' ' How is this for a dedication? " The naturalist, who has been kneeling lovingly over the aforesaid perforated tin box, jumps suddenly up with the exclamation, " By Gracious ! " and looks around with a bewildered expression. All : " What ' s the matter ? What ' s the matter, F ? " F (wildly) : " He ' s gone ! " All : " What ' s gone ? " F : " My rat ! I was going to take him over to the Zoo. Lab. and dissect him to-morrow, — there he goes now! — Whoop ! " The fiddler jumps up, his feet in his chair, and pulls off his coat. P elevates his feet on the table, laughing uproariously ; others charge on the rat. From the melee in the corner : — " There he is ! There he is ! ' " " There under the radiator ! " " Where ' s the bayonet ? " " I ' 11 jab him ! " (Naturalist ' s voice recognized) " Don ' t kill him, don ' t kill him ; catch him alive ! " The rat makes a rush across the room, followed by the crowd, yelling vigor- ously, upsetting two chairs and a table, literature and kerosene oil. " Ara-ra-ra, koko-so-ko. Ah, hitsu-kama ya ! " (Supposed to be a Japanese oath.) " Here ! " " There ! " " In the waste-basket ! " " I ' ve got him! I ' ve got him! — No-o-o, darn him, he ' s got me. Let go! Wow ! ! " " The box, where ' s the box . ' ' " " Here it is. " The rat succumbed to the inevitable, the box was clapped over him, the cover tied down, the naturalist took it carefully under his arm, and the meeting stood adjourned.

Page 37 text:

P : ■ ' United States of America. " F — ■ — - : " I go in for Grover Cleveland. " L ( from land of wooden nutmegs) : " I won ' t vote for a Democrat. " Pres. T : " Now, — now, — " M : " Say, have you fellows heard about X ' s stealing ice-cream at the President ' s reception ? Well, the boys were hanging around trying to get some, but the old darky kept his eye peeled and told them that they could n ' t have any. ' I ' s too smart for you ' s. ' ' ' X was standing by so quiet and innocent looking that no one suspected him, and. when the darky ' s back was turned, he grabbed a brick of ice-cream as big as a Bible, walked leisurely off, and invited the crowd up to his room to the spread. ' " M : ' • He did n ' t walk off leisurely, he ran like thunder. " Pres. T (rapping violently on table) : " Come, come, fellows ! We ' ve got only a week and a half to get this book out. Now, how about this dedi- cation ? ' ' L : " Here ' s an annual from a college in Texas, it ' s dedicated to athletics. " M : " Oh, say ! There is no foot-ball game with Amherst to-morrow. " F (the naturalist) : " What ' s the matter now ? " M : " O, their " Pres. T : " Now, how is this for a dedication ? — " The qualities rare in a bee that we meet. In the Index never should fail ; Its body should always be little and sweet. And a sting should be left in its tail. ' ' Chorus : " What kind of a dedication do you call that? Put him out! " T : " Well, somebody else do something, then ; I can ' t do all the work. " F (the fiddler) : " Now, here ' s my idea : — " We dedicate devoid of hate To ' 94 so weary. In the belfry high so near the sky, Tiiey lonesome sat and dreary. " L (elbowing M ): " Great Scott ! Is the man crazy. ' " M : " Darnifino. " 17



Page 39 text:

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