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Page 72 text:
Local Glossary. " Adjutant. " — A bundle of conceit tied with red tape. " Athlete. " — A conglomerate mass of bruises, sprains, contusions, cuts, bro- ken bones, black eyes, bloody noses, split cheeks, bandages, slings, arnica, sticking plaster, liniment, and Kendall ' s Spavin Cure. " Bath-tub. " — A grimy place teeming with animal life. " Bum. " — See " Fast Set. " " Bum.- ' — A person who borrows various wants in small quantities without the slightest intention of making adequate return. In fact, a parasite. See — well we forbear to mention any names on account of their relatives. " Bicycle. " — An antediluvian tip-cart wheel, which H. West rides half the time, and which rides H. West the other half. " Cane. " — The Junior ' s joy and pride. " Chemistry. " — Smells closely connected with Tabby. " Crank. " — Every one who doesn ' t think just as you do. " Crib. " — A moral boomerang, which rebounds on the user ' s own head. The foregoing is the result of personal experience. " Faculty. " — Creatures of impulse. " Fakir. " — See John West. " Fast Set. " — Those fellows in college who don ' t tell you all about their private affairs. " Flunk. " — The inevitable result of the foolish sj ' stem of compulsory recita- tions. " Fountain. " — A physic warranted to remove freshness. " Fresh. " — See Wells; if you can ' t see him you can hear him. " Goat. " — A mysterious creature, whose chief delight is to banquet on the ver- dant Freshman. " Grind. ' — A misguided youth who spends all his time in study. " Grub. " — Something we are always growling about, but are always anxious to get. " Hose. " — See advertisement in back of Index. " Janitor. " — A jjcrson who is never to be found when wanted. " Junior. " — A rare combination, never found in other classes, of the toughj the gentleman, the dude, the masher and the student. " Man. " — r, lis word signifies an individual designated for the exemplification of humanity in the abstract. (44)
Page 71 text:
THE INDEX. 43 express the condition of far too many among our farmers ? A Chicago gentle- man, after an animated discussion with an acquaintance, also American, who ventured against the indiscriminate praise of things American by the former, to offer a few criticisms and to suggest some points in which perhaps Ameri- cans might learn of other Nations, remarked beyond the hearing of his oppo- nent to another acquaintance : — " I don ' t think much of that man, I like to see an American stand up for his own country. " Is not the spirit displayed by this remark typical of many New England farmers ? May we not find among us, almost in the shadows of our college, farmer prototypes of the countryman who balanced the grain in one end of the bag with a rock in the other ? A good illustration of the spirit against which I write is afforded by the his- tory of the attempts to reclaim the Green Harbor Salt Marsh in South Marsh- field. The exclusion of the salt water by a dike and flood-gates, and the drain- age of the marsh could not be looked upon in the light of experinaents. Pre- cisely similar things had been done in Europe, and even in our own country; and the surveyor ' s level had demonstrated their possibility at Green Harbor- Nay more, nature had made the work easy. It was known beyond a peradven- ture that if the salt could be got rid of this soil must be uncommonly produc- tive ; the salt had been got rid of in numerous similar cases and these reclaimed soils had proved their almost boundless capacity for production. It would seem that here was a clear case, an evident chance for improvement and largely en- hanced profits ; but what happened ? Did the farmers, confronted by indis- putable evidence, take hold of the business in the right spirit after the improve- ment was fairly voted and push it each according to his ability and opportu- nity ? No ! a large minority, whose fathers had always cut a few loads of poor salt hay from broad acres of marsh, were ambitious only to follow in the an- cestral foot-prints. The dike once constructed, was twice blown up, and ' ts de- struction a third time attempted by similar means. Every possible technicality was seized upon and one legal obstacle after another was interposed, only to be one by one adversely decided upon ; but still with superb stupidity the oppo- nents of the dike fight on, and the case is even yet in the courts. Thanks, how- ever, to the splendid championship of a few able men, the victory for progress seems now near. Space will not allow the numerous other illustrations of blind conservatism on the part of farmers which might be given. A word to farmers ' sons, to agricultural students, and this essay shall close. Do we as students read enough, especially of foreign agriculture ? True, many of the details of such agriculture must be inapplicable here, but we should find such reading rich in suggestions. If we would be leaders, promoters of progress, we must have ideas. These are more likely to present themselves when we are confronted with something new. There are many who delve in native fields; let us extend our observations also broader and deeper. B.
Page 73 text:
T II E I N I) E , 45 " Mathematics. " — Everything between zero and infinity. " Mail Carrier. " — Tlie slowest man in college. " Mashers. " — Fellows of gigantic gall and small personal attractions. See Stowe, Magill and Bliss. " Moustache. " — Three straight hairs and one cm-ly one. See Paige ' s. " Meal. " — (For Perry) : eight slices of bread, two glasses of milk, a cup of tea, four glasses of Pelham, a dish of preserves, three tarts, two pieces of pie, and six pieces of cake. " Prex. " — 92 ' s Nemesis. " Prof, of Elocution. " — A person whose hideous and unearthly howls great- ly disturb the classes above him. " Rats. " — A favorite expression with the Freshmen of all classes. " Rhetoric. " — Nonsense unspeakable in the dry est form. " Sand. " — A much talked of substance which is seldom found except in the ears of certain individuals. " Sawbd-off. " — For particulais inquire of McCloud and Fletcher. " Senior. " — A haughty individual breathing forth dignity and tobacco smoke at every stride, with the fiery lightning of recently uncorked ambition flashing from his eye, and a battered silk hat perched on his broad and wrinkled brow. ' •Sharps and Flats. " — Sharps; The Index Board. Flats; the rest of the College, " Sluggers. " — Indescribable objects which may be seen, under favorable con- ditions of light, on the faces of certain Seniors, but which are usually indistinguishable from dirt. " Slugging. " — Striking, with intent to " lay out, " in utter disregard of all science. Justifiable in a gentleman only under the influence of the most violent excitement, such as a foot-ball game. " Sophomore. " — Gall! Gall! Gail! Inexpressible, irrepressible, indivisible, tre- mendous, unlimited, infintesimal, awful, grand, abysmal, unnatural, extraordinary and vast. For further adjectives see Webster ' s Una- bridged. " Sophomore Experiments. " — Foolishness imported direct from Japan. " Sport. " — One who bets sodas and never pays them. " Target. " — Something which we seldom hit. " Vineyard. " — A constant temptation to break the eighth commandment. " Zoology. " — An infernal (d) science.
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