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Page 123 text:
THE EDITOR ' S DREAM, The editor sat at a table large, Piled up with manuscript, paper and books. A flickering oil lamp burnt close by his hand, And despair was stamped in his haggard looks. For tomorrow the Index must go to press. All day he had slaved with feverish toil, But had no respite from his labors found, And now he must waste the midnight oil. Before his eyes danced unnumbered ideas, But indefinite, vague, and between them and him. Like the mist on some far distant mountain, a veil Seemed to hang, and beyond roved his phantasies dim. The editors head on his arms was laid. When, through the window, the midnight hour The village bell with its clangor wierd Began to sound from the First Church tower. Twelve times the bell sounded, but stopped not there. But with rapid,- clanging, double stroke, Rang on, and more near seemed to grow the peal. The sound the editor ' s re very broke. " Could it be a fire ? " He sprang to his feet. Room, manuscript, table, were nowhere seen, But he stood beneath a mighty elm Beside a campus, level and green. On every hand edifices rise. Built of brownstone, granite, and marble white. And a flight of white marble stairs led up To two massive oaken doors at his right. The walls of a vast recitation hall Seemed to hold these antique, carven doors of oak, While within an ivied tower above A bell faintly sounded its dying stroke. Amazed, half afraid, but all curious To see what is hid by that ponderous door, He mounts the stair, opens it, steps inside On an inlaid, burnished, mosaic floor. Astonished, he gazes across the hall ; An agate stair leads to a gallery (93)
Page 122 text:
Slips in all Directions. Prof. W. to class in Chemistry.— " Iodine vapour has a deep violet oder. " Prof. W " .— " That would be right if it only was right. " Prof. Br- -ks-— " Four quarts divided by three equals are one and one-half quarts. ' ' Prof. W-lk-r.— " What is the object of dividing a play into Acts i " C-rp-ut-r. — " To give the audience a rest. " J. Gr-g-ory. — " There are two genders (genera) of corn. " Prof. W-lk-r, after a brilliant guess.— " Your powers of association are not very trustworthy this morning. " C-i-l-y says that La(r)ge is small. Prof. W-rn-r.— " You know, gentlemen, that you must compare like to like, you can ' t say an apple is to a potato as an apple tree is to a potato tree. " C-rp-nt-r looking at the electric light wires. — " Say Crane, how long has that telephone been in the Chapel ? " J. Gr-gg. — " Won ' t it be time to cut asparagus soon ? " Gr-gg, looking over herbarium. — " Monkey -flower! Guess Sammy never saw a monkey, any way ! " Prof. Brooks thinks it a hard show for a Freshman class whicii has only one Soul(e). Ch-s. T-iig. — " The Eurooka machine is the best in the world. " G-l(ltliw-it. — " How much potassium would there be in a chargeof gunpowder? " T-bby. — " That would depend on the size of the charge. " (Applause.) Prof. Sam. — " What time do you plant peas ? " F-lt. — " As soon as possible. " Prof. — " How can their growth be hastened ? " F-lt.— " By planting late in the fall. " Prof. M-yn-rd. — " When would you sow tomato seed for early plants ? " E-m-s.— " About the 1st of July. " T-ft. — " I wear out my tennis shoes on the palms of my feet, "
Page 124 text:
94 THK INDEX. Which curves like a horse shoe along the wall. Supported by pillars of porphyry. To this gallery, up the second stair, All ardent and eager, he almost bounds, But scarce has he reached the gallery ' s height. When he hears of feet the pattering sounds. He hears a bang of an opening door And a noise like students from class let out. When through a door way they madly pour And break for out doors with rush and shout. Nearer and nearer the noise seems to come. The editor sees a door opened wide. And into the gallery there is poured A boisterous and most motley tide. There were blow pipes, blast lamps, note books and pens. Books, of all sizes, of studious lore. Each formed like a biped, with legs and arms, And each a long gown and a " trencher " wore. The editor counted full thirty-five, When a door behind him wide open flew ; And toward the stairway, with clangor and shout, There is thronging a still more motley crew. Hei ' e were base-balls, foot-balls, racquets and bats, " Clubs ' ' and " bells, " padded gloves, a plug hat and cane, A skeleton, coffin, and strange to say, A reverend goat with a tangled mane. The first group the student would hail as foes; The second he holds proverbiably dear, And as toward the stairway both columns spring, Our hero perceives that a rush is near. The party fii ' st out gains the stair case first. Brief triumph ! upon them eager for fray Quick spring the others, and forward and back, As each side receives additions, they sway. By a foot- ball a Rhetoric is knocked down, The blowpipe is slugged by a boxing glove stout; The former squawks as he falls with a clatter. " Mr. , I wish you would please go out. " Louder the racket! Fiercer the trampling! When — Crash, the gallery falls with a shock; And the editor — wakes up at his table, As the First Church bell tolls one o ' clock. i
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