University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA)

 - Class of 1885

Page 88 of 140

 

University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) online yearbook collection, 1885 Edition, Page 88 of 140
Page 88 of 140



University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) online yearbook collection, 1885 Edition, Page 87
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University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) online yearbook collection, 1885 Edition, Page 89
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Page 88 text:

The gates of woe are open wide, Red demons howl on every side, They grind their teeth, the bells they toll, They steal away Miss Triggie ' s soul. O sines and tangents, logarithms, Compass, chains, rods and rings, No more all night our brains you ' ll bore, Nor ever make us wretched more. The dance of the Grand Panjandrum was then performed, led by the High Priest and vestal virgins, smiting the air with frantic gestures and brandish- ing aloft the torches and transparencies. A refreshing collation was then partaken of by all, including welcome ' 83. Thus closed the greatest crema- tion ever known in the history of Aggie. 74

Page 87 text:

THE CREMATION OF MISS TRIGG1E Itijl t HE night was sad, wierd ! All nature seemed to weep ! In the dark, Jl gloomy hours sacred to Erebus and the inmates of Hades, ye glorious ' js ' ' ' 85 came together by the mournful light of torches to perform the last 1, sad rites over the body of their lamented friend. The procession, starting from North College, was an imposing one. First came Cutter, the High Priest, resplendant in his robes of office ; next, the great Phelps, seated upon the hearse, filled the multitude with awe. Then Leary, the master of ceremonies, bearing aloft in the air the sacred incense. Next Allen and Whittemore, the vestal virgins, their brows bound with holy fillets. Then the band, sending out their solemn strains through the funereal darkness, mingling with the moaning of the pines. Then the long line of ' 85, wearing stovepipe hats and white togas, smiling sadly at the mutability of human affairs. The route was a long one, past Johnny Clark ' s thence to Prof. May- nard ' s, cheering as we went along for the whole Human Race ; to Dr. Miles, back by North College to the funeral pile. Along the route, immense sup- plies of Greek Fire, Roman Candles and Pin Wheels were burned to the great amazement and admiration of the sheep and goats of ' 86. Arrived at the pyre, the High Priest, attended by the vestal virgins, walked slowly around and incensed it, while the body of Miss Triggie was placed upon it amid deathly groans and stifled shrieks of agony. The pile was then ignited, the fitful flames rise through the mist, the campus becomes a lurid crimson, it rises to the roofs and even seeks the lofty stars ! Chadbourne then mounted the rostrum and delivered the oration consigning the soul of Miss Triggie for ever to the mercy of Father Zeus, Jupiter and Apollo. The choir then sang the dirge : — Around this mournful pyre we stand, With dismal signs on every hand, This lonely night we ' ll shed a tear Upon Miss Triggie ' s funeral bier. 73



Page 89 text:

MMOMMIi AGGIE PASTIMES. j ' Y HE forces of nature work in many mysterious ways, often deviating from the fixed lines through which they are supposed to act. So it is °y qfC with the Aggie student ; the attractions that tend to vary his course J4, are many, a sort of automatic force will be exhibited in one direction, while in another, one of centripital character will be observed, and in still another some other mysterious action is at work. The student often enters upon his course with good, sound resolutions. But ah ! how fickle they prove ! How like the chaff that the wind bloweth away prove these vows when some one of these nomadic forces which sur- round him on every hand commence their ceaseless attractions. First, he is brought under the influence of that chariot load which meanders through this fertile valley on its daily path known as the A. H. S. Soon we see him l n the evening twilight slyly skipping away in a northerly direction, evi- dently intent on something which seems as yet afar off. But the goal is soon reached and there he spends a few pleasant hours with one of those fair dam- sels, returning very early at night with a light heart and a still lighter head. As is customary in all pursuits, others soon fall in line and follow in his footsteps. These visits are kept up through the Winter, and as Spring ap- proaches those fair maidens meet and commune together saying : " We must avail ourselves of this grand privilege, and according to the long prac- ticed custom induce these young lords to aid us in our yearly drama. " The lordies cannot refuse, the plea that they have never had any experience on the stage proves of no avail, and with many associates are soon entrapped and enter upon their work with great zeal. Days and weeks are spent pre- paring for that grand occasion. It is soon given to the public and proves so great a success that it is decided to present it in a neighboring town. But ah, the result ! the result ! The poor victims, with heavy hearts and empty pockets, return with a sound resolution never to be caught in such a trap again. But there are others constantly coming upon the field of action, so that this event is still yearly looked forward to with great expectation. 75

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