University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA)

 - Class of 1885

Page 82 of 140

 

University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) online yearbook collection, 1885 Edition, Page 82 of 140
Page 82 of 140



University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) online yearbook collection, 1885 Edition, Page 81
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University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) online yearbook collection, 1885 Edition, Page 83
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Page 82 text:

CHRONICLES. 1 4th Book of Aggie : 8S Verse. - ■ % + tf ND it came to pass that when John the Clarkite had taught winnowing and threshing before the Aggieites for three whole terms, that they waxed merry and no longer delighted in talks of the ram and the goat, and they did heave at Johnnie ' s head spitballs. And Johnnie said : Ye be sons of Ahab ; unless you cease this I will not tarry here longer ' And they said, " We would hear wisdom ! Doth the lion eat straw ? or the hornet pick his teeth with a jackknife ? ' • ' Then he answered, " I will talk to thee of the peamit of Texas and the cucumber. " But they listened not. And he said to himself, " I will leave this place, my talents here are wasted ; I will seek North Amherst and there will I abide. " And he told the same to the Aggieites and they were sorrowful in their hearts. Now there was among them a man endued with understanding and eager to devise a cunning thing. And he said unto the assembled Aggieites, • " Let us go up thither, bearing gifts ; these will appease his wrath, and he will speak to the Scribe to give us high marks. " And they all answered together and said, " All that you have spoken we will do. Let us go up hence. " Then Leary, the Brooklynite, and Joel, the son of G-oldthwait, went up secretly by night and said to the wife of John, " Tell not thy husband that we are coming- hither bearing gifts, we would take him by surprise, we love him much ; but tell us, we pray thee, what shall we give him, a china bowl or some small fowls ? " And she said, " Nay ! speak not of fowls to him, lest he wax wrathy ! " Then they returned and told this to the Aggieites, and they said, " Go thou down and hire a chariot with horses four and buy a lamp or candlestick, and we will go up thither. And they did so. And they bought for him a candlestick of pure gold for five sheckels, of beaten gold was the candlestick, with knots and flowers and ornaments of the same, and the shade was of fine crystal, with cun- ning work of blue and scarlet and purple. And they said, " Let us pro- vide men that can play well, cunning with the harp and the fiddle and the bones (58



Page 83 text:

and the banjo. " And they did so. Then they went up in the night, singing and playing tuneful noises. Now these are they that came : There was Edwin, the son of Allen, and Almeida the Brazilianite ; Brooks of Boston, and George, whose surname was Barber ; Charles William, the son of Browne, and Buffing- ton the Wareite ; Leary, the Brooklynite, walked with Joel, the son of Goldth- wait ; Albert, the son of Paul the Williamite went with Charley the Cutterite ; Hezekiah, the son of Howell, together with Edward, the Flmtite ; Nash, other- wise John, and Phelps, sometimes a Plorenceite, with George the son of Putnam ; Spaulding, the Amherstite, and Joseph Sidney, the son of Whittemore ; last of all came Tekirian, the Turkeyite. And they had put on robes of linen and wool, and sweet smells, and girded themselves with things of beauty. And as they went up in the chariot they did shout for joy and sing. And when they came near his vineyard and garden of herbs, lo and behold it was dark. And they approached in fear and trembling, and they did knock, and the wife of Johnnie opened the door and said, " Enter, I pray thee, mine husband cometh down from above. " Now when Johnnie entereth, amazement sat on his face, but Phelps, the Florenceite, approached and said, " We have dealt corruptly against thee and have not kept thy commandments, nor thy statutes, nor judg- ments. But remember, we beseech thee, we are but striplings. To forgive is divine; but to do wrong, human. ' 1 And John, the Clarkite said, " Behold I am this day threescore years and ten and never yet have I seen such sons of women of the daughters of the earth. " Then Albert, the son of Paul the Wil- liamite, stretching out his hands gave him the golden candlestick. And Johnnie said, " Mine lamp just goeth out! Thou are surely wise to come in time. " Then the Aggieites rejoiced and smiled in their hearts and behmd the door. Then the wife of Johnnie brought pottage and said, " Eat and be merry. " And they did eat. And the musicians having tuned up, they danced, and lo, the house did shake ! And then Max, the son of Johnnie, did tell a story of a dog that had a tail. And so the merriment waxed strong. And now the time came for every man to depart to his own house, and the Aggieites again mounted into the chariot and returned home of one heart.

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