University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA)

 - Class of 1884

Page 85 of 126

 

University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) online yearbook collection, 1884 Edition, Page 85 of 126
Page 85 of 126



University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) online yearbook collection, 1884 Edition, Page 84
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University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) online yearbook collection, 1884 Edition, Page 86
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Page 85 text:

immiimii - ' m mmMmmm Number of men entered, Number in class at present, Candidates for B. S., Candidates for Military Diploma, Total (on graduation) age, Average (on graduation) age, Oldest man in class, Youngest man in class. Total weight of class, Average weight of class. Heaviest man in class. Lightest man in class, Total height, Average height. Tallest man, Shortest man, Largest foot, Smallest foot, Three wear mustaches 14. lOi. 0. 9. 209 years. 21. 23. 19. 1451 lbs. 145 1-10 lbs. 160 lbs. 123i lbs. 59 ft. 5-9i. S. M. Holman, 6 ft. 1 in. D. H. Braune, 5 ft. 6 in. J. B. Lindsey, Cinderalla No. 13. C. H. Preston, No. 4. Two wear side whiskers. Three wear peach fuzz. One on account of the promiscuousness of his pro- bocis, and the consequent amount of shade around that same organ, renders it impossible to grow but eight hairs on one side and three on the other. One wears glasses. The rest are color blind. Two have light hair. Four have dark hair. The re- mainder use so much hair die that it is impossible to tell the natural color. One is bald headed. Eight are Republicans. Two are Democrats. All are members of the Bar(room). Democrats all drink red eye. Republicans drink anything. One is engaged. None are married. All are lunatics and poets. 67

Page 84 text:

Tekirian. — " I ' m a gatherer and disposer of other men ' s stnffs. " Whittemore. — " Comb down his hair ; look! look! it s,tands upright. " BuFFiNGTON. — " When found, make note of. " Barber. — " I am a man more sinned against than sinning. " Brooks. — " The moon looks down on many brooks, but the moon can see but one Brooks like this. " Putnam. — " This honest creature doubtless sees and knows more, much more, than he unfolds. " Barker. — " If thy head were like thy feet, thou would ' st indeed be great. " Clapp. — " A fossilized Freshman. " CoPELAND. — " The blowing of a whale, that science tells about, is nothing to the blowing when this Fresh-man comes out. " „ ' " Would that you and I knew where a commodity r of good names were to be bought. " Lang.— ) " = DouCET. — " So new, the dust sticks to you. " Eaton.— " ' Art thou a man ? " rV T T T T — ) o ' r " Chipped from the pavements of h-11. " Bill. — " Nature hath framed strange fellows in her time. " Taylor — " Two for cent. " Palmer. — " Who thinks too little and talks too much. " Bement. — " There ' s music in the air when the infant John is nigh. " W. S. Smith. — " He was as fresh as the month of May. " Kinney. — " Company, villainous company, hath been the ruin of me. " Nash. — " A drop in the bucket. " Cardoso. — " Much interested in the North Amherst Kora(n). Jaqueth. — " I sing bass only. " V. H. B. — " As headstrong as an allegory on the banks of the Nile. " ' 83. — " An empty, thoughtless tribe. " Past,Members of ' 84. — " Gone glimmering thro ' the dream of things that were. " ' 85. — " A I ' eckless, godless crew. " ' 86. — " And the boldest of them grew pale with wonder. " Faculty. — " They that govern most make least noise. " 66



Page 86 text:

«ii i » i«ii iiiii| First Fresh, at Hash House:— " I say. Bill, wliat is the mat- ter with this ioe cream ? " Seco7id Fre,sli. : — " I don ' t know, I can ' t taste anything. " First Fresh. : — " Neither can I, and that is what I am growl- ing about. " What can ' t he cured must be endured, but first try Holman ' s Liver pad. Leary has concluded to have his pet cat stuffed. We think it a good plan, for at present the cat is as thin as Hash House soup. I anticipate that sufUclent pecuniary aid can obviously be ob- tained from the institution to liquidate one half of the indebt- edness, and would moreover suggest that the aforesaid plan be executed with great celerity. Eight of companies, rear into column, March. What Freshman went to Harrington ' s planing mill for good plain board ? To whom it may concern : " Would that pneumonia ' s clutches Or diphtheretic cough Would seize his vocal muscles And kindly shut him off. " Phelps : — " Who is the author of your prize piece, Allen ? " AllJ ' INT : — " It was anonymous. " Phelps : — " Why ! he is the same person that wrote my piece. " 68

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