University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA)

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Bs ' si BI I " Prof. H. — Mr. C, do I know anything about this triangle ? Mr. C— No, sir ! ! SoEisrE— Drill Hall. — Lieut. Bridgman appears ou drill. The bell not being rung, he, waxing wroth, rings it himself. No one appears but G. Spalding. Lieut. — Mr. Spauldiug, what is soing on down stairs ? S. — A lecture, I think. Lieut — A lecture! These things must not interfere with my drill! ! ! {Exit discomfited Lieutenant.) P. A. C. — Mr. H-lni-n, what kind of insects produce their young alive ? H-lm-n. — A certain kind of toad ; don ' t remember the name now. P. A. C. — Gentlemen, you are late ; how did it happen ? First Gent. — Lieutenant kept us over time. P. A. C. — He ' Should not do that without authority from headquarters ! ! (Great applause from the pit.) P. A. C. — Mr. H., how do fishes breathe ? Mr. H. — Tl;irough their fins, sir I ! Pres. 0. — Mr. M., give the classes of insects. Mr. M. — Hexapod, myriapod and tripod. 58

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COLLEGE. PriiicetoiiiHii, Amherst Student, Yale Kecord, Acta Columbiana. MISCELLANEOUS. Puck, Scientitic American, Scientific Supplement, Harper ' s Weekly, Leslie ' s Illustrated Weekly, Forest and Stream, Amherst Record, American Bee Journal, American Journal of Education, Gazette and Conrier. Toledo Blade, New York Clipper. Vick ' s Monthly, Army and Navy Register, Connecticut Weekly Courant, New Orleans Picayune, Women ' s Journal, Journal of Chemistry, Burlington Hawkeye, Turf, Field and Farm, RELIGIOUS. Zion ' s Herald, • Investigator, The Advance, New Jerusalem Messenger, The Alliance, Zion ' s Watch Tower, Zion ' s Light House. h —Hr 57

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IfcMMKiliESlt- lojl ND it came to pass, in the second year of the reign of one • Levi over the Aggies, that he said unto the people : " Have I not dwelt in this land fonrteen years ? And behold the time draweth nigh that I should depart ; therefore choose ye a man to rule in my stead. " Then were the hearts of the people ex- ceedingly sad. Nevertheless they put a staff in his hand, and he departed into a far country. Then the elders gathered themselves together, and chose one Paul, a Williamite, to rule over the people. Now Paul was a man skilled in all manner of sciences. And he gave new laws unto his subjects, even laws respecting the destruction of prop- erty; and against all manner of wickedness. And he declared, as one having authority, that " whosoever broke these laws should not prosper, but would be sent back in shame to the land of his fathers. " And it came to pass, in the season nigh unto harvest, when the melon and gooseberry were ripened, and the festive notes of the cricket and bullfrog were heard throughout the land, that many striplings from the region round about came to the gates of the temple of learning, and cried Avith a loud voice, " Open unt o us ! " Then answered the chief priest, " Why come ye hither ? and what seek ye ? " Then with one accord they replied, " We seek to be Freshmen. " Then did the chief priest jDnt unto them certain strange questions, to which if they answered well they should come m, but if not they should dwell without the temple forever. And having called upon one Robert, whose surname is derived .from the bearers of the palm, he said unto him, " Repeat to us the table wherewith wine is measured. " And in these words did Robert answer him : " Four gills make one drink ; Two drinks make one drunk ; Four drunks make one flunk. " 59