University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA)

 - Class of 1883

Page 93 of 140

 

University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) online yearbook collection, 1883 Edition, Page 93 of 140
Page 93 of 140



University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) online yearbook collection, 1883 Edition, Page 92
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University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) online yearbook collection, 1883 Edition, Page 94
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Page 93 text:

CAFE AGRICULTURAL. ' TnN this brief account, my friends, I shall endeavor to give you a ® slight synopsis of the rules and regulations of our boarding-house- f Breakfast is served at this cafe at 7.15, and is heralded in by the ringing of the chapel bell, by the old and reliable bell-ringer. This curious individual, some one remarked, appears similar to the one of ' 76, who rung out the independence chimes, under the title of " grand-father. " This is a welcome sound to which the students res- pond to attend to the duties of the inner man. You enter the house; before you is spread two large tables, covered with an abundant supply of cracked dishes. Your cup is taken, and some dark material, which some one has dared to give the name of coffee, is poured into it. The best de- scription I can give you of this, is a remark that a certain esteenaed friend made, who now resides among the isles of the sea, that this compound was produced " by some one endeavoring to cleanse their hands with the exclu- sive aid of warm water. " The supply of that sweet, pure, Asyhire milk, direct from Farmer Tillson ' s dairy, is somewhat limited just now, but an abundant sup ply of water is close at hand, and it holds its color remarkably well. The rest of the breakfast consists of crackers, ad infinitum, bread with ' a slightly acid twang to it, and a nameless material, which some of the fel- lows call " quail. " The bread is brought from the cooking room on a plate, at the rate of three slices per time, and silently disappears for want of some- thing better. After the first three slices have taken wings, the waiter takes the plate, and in a short time produces three more for the ten hungry mouths. This disappears in like manner, and you having by this time finished your bountiful repast, depart for the laborious duties of the morning. Long be- fore the dinner hour arrives, you endeavor to remember whether or not you ate your breakfast in the morning. After thinking earnestly for some time, you conae to the conclusion you did not, and when at last the goal is reached, you quickly wend your way to the cafe. The dinner usually consists of what is termed veal, and thanks to the generosity of the boarding-mistress, plenty of " murphys, " as the fellows call them. This excellent veal deserves further notice. I would say that owing to a contract made with the meat vender, we are enabled to have it constantly throughout the year, except for a limited time during the winter months, when pork supplies its place. I neglected to say that on Friday, for 79



Page 94 text:

the sake of variety, a substance which once bore the name of fish, takes the IDlace of the veal. This prepared compound is served in a semi-liquid con- dition, for v hat reason we cannot say, but some have surmised that it con- tains ingredients which are very valuable as a " brain food. " The desert u sually consists of pumpkin pie, three inches square, according to the latest measurement, using the metric system as a standard. Very few incidents occur to mar the harmony of the occasion, excepting an occasional precipitation of the gravy upon the table cloth by a freshman, which is responded to by a scowl from the waiter, or perchance the break- ing of a plate, for which the unlucky individual is obliged to pay the sum of " seventeen cents. " The supper is very light, as the proprietor does not believe in injuring the health of the students by pampering them with too much rich food. However a limited supply of apple-sauce is allowed twice per week, as there is an abundant supply of apples grown upon the college farm. The proprietor has had the good fortune to secure the services of the illustrious Brecken- ridge, the retired " American actor, " for one of the waiters of the establish- ment. This gentleman, as is well known has rendered himself distinguished in a great many ways, which it is not necessary to speak of here. With the excellent management of this establishment, the close economy practiced, and the services of the distinguished waiter, we see no reason why this department should not be successful in a financial point of view. But the boarders ! alas ! beware, O mortals, beware. Y " DlALOGUES " FOR " TWO " PERSONS.y SCENE IN THE LECTURE ROOM. Pres. Stockbridge.— Well Mr. Redding as far as relationship is concerned, you are related to the homliest monkey in Africa. Mr. Redding.— Well Mr. Pres., we are all brothers. Senior Instructor in Artillery, W-n-s-r to Sophomore, (in low voice)— How do you hitch the thing up ? Sophomore. — Limber Rear. S. I. {Loudly).— lAmber Rear. 80

Suggestions in the University of Massachusetts Amherst - Index Yearbook (Amherst, MA) collection:

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