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Page 99 text:
ei4 § h ' C tc c , UST before going to press, an Index editor found the following letter in an ash pan in one of the halls, and thinking it too good to " ( be lost, even though the production of a Freshman, before return- ing it to the author, obtained a copy, which reads as follows : M. A. C, Nov. 8th, 1880. My Dear Friend : — You are probably waiting to hear from me, and anxious to learn how I am getting along. I am well settled at last, and find the Agricultural College a very pleasant place to pursue my studies. I will not weary you with a dull account of my daily routine, but perhaps you may be interested in learning something about my associates and the Faculty. One poor fellow they call " Megalops, " for what reason I cannot say. Another is called " Fiend, " because he smokes so much. This I think is a very appropriate name for him. He has a wee bit of a moustache, the color of brick, and the boys say he is afraid to cut it off for fear it won ' t grow out again. But the fiend that beats them all is the " Fiddle Fiend. " He hails from Berkshire, and plays at the piano, violin, bass viol, flute, tin horn, and I hear he has been trying to get music out of a corn stalk fiddle. This fellow will buy every old worn out instrument and all the second-hand music that he can lay hold of, and the infernal strains that come from this dilapidated source are a libel on the whole college. There are several other fellows nicknamed " Yarmouth, " " H. F. M. Pinafore, " " Cape Cod, " etc., about whom I will say no more than to declare them freaks of human nature. As for the Faculty, I like them all very much. President Stockbridge appears to be a very pleasant, but rather a garrulous gentleman. They call him " Stock, " for short. He is of medium height, has a sandy beard, and lisps a little when he talks. The boys say it is because his denticulated ori- fice has been undergoing repairs ; and the Sophs also say that his pedal extremities have an incline axis of sixty degrees. Professor Graves, aZi ' as " Prof. Billy, " I also like very much. He is a little bald, and full of stale jokes, but the greatest compliment he ever gave us was to tell us we were the poorest class he ever saw. 81
Page 100 text:
I don ' t know much about Professor Goodell, but I hear that he is actually so heartless and coldblooded as not to allow his students either to hang their feet over the chairs, whisper, or spit on the floor. In the little cottage on the hill — where the professor of Agriculture doles out the story o£ blasted crops, his own miraculous doings, his experiences with ice on the Connecticut river, and the prospects of a young man of sixty running for Congress on the Greenback ticket — Professor Maynard ( " Prof. Sam. " ), a little red whiskered man, teaches botany. We have it in the spring, and I dare say ' we shall like him. very much. Professor Goessmann, about whom you have heard so much, appears to be a very jolly Dutchman. He has a great affinity for Chemistry, and seem- ingly delights in inflicting us poor Freshmen with that reaction of acid and iron which produces H2S, and the roguish grin that lights up his countenance as our olfactory nerves are affected, is indeed most trying. The military instructor, Lieutenant Morris, whom they call the " Lieut., " was formerly professor of elocution, but has lately been obliged to give up that chair on account of increasing family cares. He is a polite little man about four feet and a half high, and when in full dress uniform, is as " pretty as a little red wagon. " Mr. Baker, or " Professor " Baker, as he is called, the janitor, is a dry sort of a chap, who has a meek way of attending to his duties that is very captivating. I wish I had time to tell you about some of the other fellows, but I am so busy just now " cramming " for the examinations that this will have to do for this time. Your Affectionate Friend, [Note. — As the newspapers say, we do not hold ourselves responsible for the opinions of our correspondent. — Eds. Index.] 83
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