University of Wisconsin Eau Claire - Periscope Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI)

 - Class of 1918

Page 71 of 132

 

University of Wisconsin Eau Claire - Periscope Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI) online yearbook collection, 1918 Edition, Page 71 of 132
Page 71 of 132



University of Wisconsin Eau Claire - Periscope Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI) online yearbook collection, 1918 Edition, Page 70
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University of Wisconsin Eau Claire - Periscope Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI) online yearbook collection, 1918 Edition, Page 72
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Page 71 text:

Miss ClcfTc: 1 don’t care. It is easier to be natural than it is to stay on high C. Yarnspin (aside): She's on high sea now and doesn’t know it. Miss ClelTc: At least you have nothing to say. Prof. Birdlorc. (Turning to others) A man who dissects a pet gorilla, mistaking it for a (ierman. is a pretty big failure at peace-making. Dist. (angrily): What! What fool talk is this? What did you say about gorillas? Did he dissect a gorilla? lias his brain ceased to work? Miss ClcfTc: 1 saw it with my own eyes. Prof. liirdlorc (nervously): Aw. give a fellow a chance to explain. I got my gas mask on so crooked, 1 could see only out of the half of one eye. and I just naturally dissected the first thing I stumbled against. Prof. D'Angell: Some biologist! Now if you had made a psychological test--- Prof. Reforme (irritably): Oh, shut up! Maud me another lemon. Yarnspin. Yarnspin: Here, you need one. too. P’Angcll. to keep your tongue from wagging and to save that one brain path of yours from wearing through. Prof. D’Angell (flushing hotly) : 1 refuse to bear such insults! lake back every------ Dist. (rushing up. grabbing D'Angell by coat collar) Enough! Yonder sits your friend. Rcforme. contentedly sucking a lemon. Go thou and do likewise. (Exit D'Angell) Miss Grateful (sympathetically): The poor fellow isn’t himself. Neither is Prof. Reforme. This trip has been bard on them, but they’ll feel better when they get home. Oh, by the way. Yarn-spin. I am curious to know what that story was you told the Kaiser at that fatal moment when you and Distiller met your Waterloo. Do tell us. won’t you? Yarnspin: Why. I just asked him if he had heard of the ter- rible condition in Russia. He said no. he hadn’t heard any further developments lately, and then I told him that there were 500.000 subjects walking around without any predicates. Oh. boy! wasn’t he mad. though? Distiller and I stopped not to reason why. ours but to turn and fly. vowing no more to pry into bis business. Miss ClcflFc (swcotlv) : So you’ll admit that you, too. were failures. (To Miss Grateful) Did your coaching fall short of the mark ? Miss Grateful (angrily): Indeed, and what else could you ex- pect? They didn’t heed one thing 1 said. They were as deaf as stones----senseless things.

Page 70 text:

Miss ClcfTc: 1 don’t care. It is easier to be natural than it is to stay on high C. Yarnspin (aside): She's on high sea now and doesn’t know it. Miss ClelTc: At least you have nothing to say. Prof. Birdlorc. (Turning to others) A man who dissects a pet gorilla, mistaking it for a (ierman. is a pretty big failure at peace-making. Dist. (angrily): What! What fool talk is this? What did you say about gorillas? Did he dissect a gorilla? lias his brain ceased to work? Miss ClcfTc: 1 saw it with my own eyes. Prof. liirdlorc (nervously): Aw. give a fellow a chance to explain. I got my gas mask on so crooked, 1 could see only out of the half of one eye. and I just naturally dissected the first thing I stumbled against. Prof. D'Angell: Some biologist! Now if you had made a psychological test--- Prof. Reforme (irritably): Oh, shut up! Maud me another lemon. Yarnspin. Yarnspin: Here, you need one. too. P’Angcll. to keep your tongue from wagging and to save that one brain path of yours from wearing through. Prof. D’Angell (flushing hotly) : 1 refuse to bear such insults! lake back every------ Dist. (rushing up. grabbing D'Angell by coat collar) Enough! Yonder sits your friend. Rcforme. contentedly sucking a lemon. Go thou and do likewise. (Exit D'Angell) Miss Grateful (sympathetically): The poor fellow isn’t himself. Neither is Prof. Reforme. This trip has been bard on them, but they’ll feel better when they get home. Oh, by the way. Yarn-spin. I am curious to know what that story was you told the Kaiser at that fatal moment when you and Distiller met your Waterloo. Do tell us. won’t you? Yarnspin: Why. I just asked him if he had heard of the ter- rible condition in Russia. He said no. he hadn’t heard any further developments lately, and then I told him that there were 500.000 subjects walking around without any predicates. Oh. boy! wasn’t he mad. though? Distiller and I stopped not to reason why. ours but to turn and fly. vowing no more to pry into bis business. Miss ClcflFc (swcotlv) : So you’ll admit that you, too. were failures. (To Miss Grateful) Did your coaching fall short of the mark ? Miss Grateful (angrily): Indeed, and what else could you ex- pect? They didn’t heed one thing 1 said. They were as deaf as stones----senseless things.



Page 72 text:

Prof. Rirdlore (rousing himself from meditation): Hie dis- grace is more than 1 can bear. The thought of von Hindenlmrg's pet gorilla massacred is driving me to distraction. Remorse overwhelms my being! Henceforth. 1 shall remain in solitary seclusion in my stateroom. Repentance is my only salvation. Miss Cleffe: Will you go back to Pan Claire? Prof. Birdlorc (sadly): .Mi. no! 1 shall never darken its doors again. I am preparing to return to North Dakota where I shall found a society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dumb Animals. Farewell, friends of my better days, farewell. (F.xit Birdlorc sadly). Miss Grateful: Come, Miss Civile, we arc only a couple of hours from New York, and wc had better begin getting our duds packed. (Exeunt Miss Grateful and Miss Cleffe. (Distiller and Yarnspin in constrained silence.) Yarnspin: What have you got on vour mind. Distiller? (Silence) By the way, what arc you going to tell the folks at home? Dist. (angrily): You keep your mouth shut! Yarnspin (worried): But what will they think of us? Distiller: Good gracious man! Arc you just waking up? Is it at this stage of the game you begin wondering what the home folks will think? It was more than evident when you fooled with the Kaiser that you forgot all about the day of reckoning at home. Yarnspin: Aw! let up a little. The whole bloomin' thing was a fool’s errand, and I’ll confess right now, my friend, your Bagiev was what knocked me silly and started me going until I couldn't stop. Distiller (solemnly) : I care not what course others mav take, hut as for me. give me Bagley. or give me death. Yarnspin : Hey what's that? Somebody’s singing down at the other end of the deck. Distiller (listening attentively): Their song sounds familiar. Listen ! (Strains of “Keep the Home Fires Burning"). Yarnspin: Yes, let's hope they are still burning, but if they are. it will not. alas! be due to our efforts in this expedition. Suppose. Distiller, that we go home via Detroit and shake hands with Ford. We're in the same boat now! —Curtain— L. A. O. H. P. R.

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