University of Wisconsin Eau Claire - Periscope Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI)

 - Class of 1918

Page 70 of 132

 

University of Wisconsin Eau Claire - Periscope Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI) online yearbook collection, 1918 Edition, Page 70 of 132
Page 70 of 132



University of Wisconsin Eau Claire - Periscope Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI) online yearbook collection, 1918 Edition, Page 69
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University of Wisconsin Eau Claire - Periscope Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI) online yearbook collection, 1918 Edition, Page 71
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Page 70 text:

Miss ClcfTc: 1 don’t care. It is easier to be natural than it is to stay on high C. Yarnspin (aside): She's on high sea now and doesn’t know it. Miss ClelTc: At least you have nothing to say. Prof. Birdlorc. (Turning to others) A man who dissects a pet gorilla, mistaking it for a (ierman. is a pretty big failure at peace-making. Dist. (angrily): What! What fool talk is this? What did you say about gorillas? Did he dissect a gorilla? lias his brain ceased to work? Miss ClcfTc: 1 saw it with my own eyes. Prof. liirdlorc (nervously): Aw. give a fellow a chance to explain. I got my gas mask on so crooked, 1 could see only out of the half of one eye. and I just naturally dissected the first thing I stumbled against. Prof. D'Angell: Some biologist! Now if you had made a psychological test--- Prof. Reforme (irritably): Oh, shut up! Maud me another lemon. Yarnspin. Yarnspin: Here, you need one. too. P’Angcll. to keep your tongue from wagging and to save that one brain path of yours from wearing through. Prof. D’Angell (flushing hotly) : 1 refuse to bear such insults! lake back every------ Dist. (rushing up. grabbing D'Angell by coat collar) Enough! Yonder sits your friend. Rcforme. contentedly sucking a lemon. Go thou and do likewise. (Exit D'Angell) Miss Grateful (sympathetically): The poor fellow isn’t himself. Neither is Prof. Reforme. This trip has been bard on them, but they’ll feel better when they get home. Oh, by the way. Yarn-spin. I am curious to know what that story was you told the Kaiser at that fatal moment when you and Distiller met your Waterloo. Do tell us. won’t you? Yarnspin: Why. I just asked him if he had heard of the ter- rible condition in Russia. He said no. he hadn’t heard any further developments lately, and then I told him that there were 500.000 subjects walking around without any predicates. Oh. boy! wasn’t he mad. though? Distiller and I stopped not to reason why. ours but to turn and fly. vowing no more to pry into bis business. Miss ClcflFc (swcotlv) : So you’ll admit that you, too. were failures. (To Miss Grateful) Did your coaching fall short of the mark ? Miss Grateful (angrily): Indeed, and what else could you ex- pect? They didn’t heed one thing 1 said. They were as deaf as stones----senseless things.

Page 69 text:

Distiller (excitedly): Xo. no, Yarnspin, you needn't try to explain it at all. 1 know where the fault lies. You were wrong, all wrong when------ Yarnspin: Well, well, old hoy, don’t get so excited. Xo use crying over spilt milk. I did my host in my own way and I would have succeeded if------ Dist: How under the canopy of heaven did you expect to convince the Kaiser of his mistake with your Mother Goose rhymes? Yarnspin: Rut what in the name of reason were you trying to do with that soppy spcciman of literature in your hand? Dist: Hold on! Hold on! Xo insults! I had my discourse on habits ami ideals, page 227. all prepared, and was in the midst of feeding it to the Kaiser, whose eyes. I could plainly see. were already filling with tears. I was just congratulating myself on the success of my mission when in you bounced with your absurd, nonsensical story of Esau Wood sawed wood. Esau W ood would saw wood. Miss Grateful: I am so disgusted with you both. You acted like irresponsible schoolboys. When 1 pecked out from behind the door in the Kaiser’s audience chamber, and admonished you to enunciate clearly and. by all means, to lengthen your inflections, yon took no more heed of my suggestions than if I were speaking to the empty air. You didn't pitch vour voices, you didn’t pause, and von didn’t breathe once during the entire speech. Distiller: Enunciation! Inflection! 1 presume your exalted ideas of your abilities flatter you into thinking that if you had been sent as envoy to the Kaiser, you would have led him around like a lamb tied to a ribbon. Yarnspin (sarcastically): Eating in submission from your hand, no doubt. Prof. D'Angcll: 1 see where the whole trouble lies! You did not make a psychological study of your opponent. If only------- Dist: What right have you to pass your opinion I'd like to know. You-------- Yarnspin: Yes. you and Prof. Reforme were in Liverpool five weeks recovering from the effects of your voyage over; so infants like you shall he seen and not heard the remainder of our voyage. (Enter Miss Trchcllc Clcffc and Prof. Rirdlorc. excitedly arguing) MissCleffe (angrily): Indeed. I did not. What a silly idea to think that T had stage fright singing before those savages. Prof. Rirdlorc: nd prav then, what made you flat so woe- fully on high C? I imagine how the Huns must have winced at the discord.



Page 71 text:

Miss ClcfTc: 1 don’t care. It is easier to be natural than it is to stay on high C. Yarnspin (aside): She's on high sea now and doesn’t know it. Miss ClelTc: At least you have nothing to say. Prof. Birdlorc. (Turning to others) A man who dissects a pet gorilla, mistaking it for a (ierman. is a pretty big failure at peace-making. Dist. (angrily): What! What fool talk is this? What did you say about gorillas? Did he dissect a gorilla? lias his brain ceased to work? Miss ClcfTc: 1 saw it with my own eyes. Prof. liirdlorc (nervously): Aw. give a fellow a chance to explain. I got my gas mask on so crooked, 1 could see only out of the half of one eye. and I just naturally dissected the first thing I stumbled against. Prof. D'Angell: Some biologist! Now if you had made a psychological test--- Prof. Reforme (irritably): Oh, shut up! Maud me another lemon. Yarnspin. Yarnspin: Here, you need one. too. P’Angcll. to keep your tongue from wagging and to save that one brain path of yours from wearing through. Prof. D’Angell (flushing hotly) : 1 refuse to bear such insults! lake back every------ Dist. (rushing up. grabbing D'Angell by coat collar) Enough! Yonder sits your friend. Rcforme. contentedly sucking a lemon. Go thou and do likewise. (Exit D'Angell) Miss Grateful (sympathetically): The poor fellow isn’t himself. Neither is Prof. Reforme. This trip has been bard on them, but they’ll feel better when they get home. Oh, by the way. Yarn-spin. I am curious to know what that story was you told the Kaiser at that fatal moment when you and Distiller met your Waterloo. Do tell us. won’t you? Yarnspin: Why. I just asked him if he had heard of the ter- rible condition in Russia. He said no. he hadn’t heard any further developments lately, and then I told him that there were 500.000 subjects walking around without any predicates. Oh. boy! wasn’t he mad. though? Distiller and I stopped not to reason why. ours but to turn and fly. vowing no more to pry into bis business. Miss ClcflFc (swcotlv) : So you’ll admit that you, too. were failures. (To Miss Grateful) Did your coaching fall short of the mark ? Miss Grateful (angrily): Indeed, and what else could you ex- pect? They didn’t heed one thing 1 said. They were as deaf as stones----senseless things.

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