University of Wisconsin Eau Claire - Periscope Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI)

 - Class of 1918

Page 66 of 132

 

University of Wisconsin Eau Claire - Periscope Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI) online yearbook collection, 1918 Edition, Page 66 of 132
Page 66 of 132



University of Wisconsin Eau Claire - Periscope Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI) online yearbook collection, 1918 Edition, Page 65
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University of Wisconsin Eau Claire - Periscope Yearbook (Eau Claire, WI) online yearbook collection, 1918 Edition, Page 67
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Page 66 text:

Dist: Mow now! Stop all this foolishness! We must have our conference, and lay our peace plans now. Come, conic, ladies and gentlemen. I’ve found a place of privacy. (AM gather around a table at one side.) What decision shall v:e come to? Eriend Yarnspin. suppose you and 1 have a little personal contlab with the Kaiser. My friend Raglcy (tapping book under his arm) shall render valuable assistance and show Wilhelm the error of his ways. Yarnspin: Yes. and if that doesn’t take effect, I’l go up to Mill and ask him if lie hasn't heard of the terrible condition in Russia. and that the hoy stood on the burning deck in 1492. Believe me. I’ll kid the old hoy. Bird lore (anxiously scanning water): Bv go?! Ihat's mighty much like a periscope out there right non . My kingdom for a life preserver! Dist: And what about you. Miss v'leite? Arc you going to trv your “charm" experiment on the Huns? Miss ClclTe (very decidedly): Why. of course. Music bath charms to soothe the savage Bochc. In the spirit of tlie dove of peace, I will stand before the armies of the savage Hun in the front line trenches. The licjuid cadence of m voice "ill melt their l ard hearts, bring tears to their eyes and remorse to their souls. Miss Grateful: Hear! Hear! Birdlore: But pray. Miss Cleffc, with what miraculous melodies do you aspire to this achievement? Miss Cleffc: My first number will be “I Love You Truly”, and if encored, I shall sing “Let Me Call You Sweetheart Yarnspin: n with the song, let joy he unconfined. Birdlore (ironically): My George. he would he a hard hearted soldier, indeed, and several kinds of fools, who would not, at such a touching appeal, lay down his arms and make use of the ones nature gave him! Miss Cleffc: Sir! Dist: By the way. folks, where is Prof. Mutch N’eeduv Re- forme? He can’t he writing all this time, can lie? If lie expects to keep accurate account of the historic events of this expedition, he should he here taking notes, and Prof. D’Angell. where is he? Sav Yarnspiiii hunt them up and send them over. (Exit Yarnspin.) Miss Grateful: Now, gentlemen: take a few suggestions from me. One of the essentials of expression is breath control. When you appear before the Kaiser, you must practice centralized breathing and absolute relaxation. It will give von moral support and mental poise. Should an argument arise, you must squelch him with a well-prepared recitation of Esau Wood sawed wood. Esau

Page 65 text:

Yarnspin : You’re right, old boy, but don’t be in such a bloomin’ hurry------------------------we haven’t reached the “auld sod” yet. By Jolly! we may have to take a swim before we get there. Birdlorc (anxiously scanning the water): Say. fellows, don’t you think it's time we get the life preservers on? The fact of the matter is. we re almost in the submarine zone. I don’t know how you folks feel about it, but 1-- Dist: Well, I’ll tell you right now, honest, this is a serious business. ur president wouldn't have found it possible to dispense with our services at the Normal had it not been absolutely necessary for the welfare of humanity that we make this trip. I don’t believe in this dilly-dallying any longer. I may be old-fashioned, but I believe in tackling a job at once, and getting it done. Besides. we may run across a submarine any minute. We must make plans for our peace campaign and make them in a hum. My friend Bagiev here—(taps hook under his arm)------ Yarnspin (interrupting): W as peace, do you think, ever made in a day? Tin Lizzie’s creator met with no rapid results, you’ll remember. Miss ClefTe (decidedly): It makes no difference. We abso- lute must get this peace proposition under wav and definitely settled in short order. I have a special rehearsal of the Wailing Warblers set for Friday, the 13th. to practice for Commencement and !'vc got to be back. Birdlorc (excitedly scanning horizon with telescope): What’s that 1 sec? A gull! gull! A sea-gull! Wonder if I can’t get a picture of it? (Hastily adjusting camera ) Dist: (impatiently): Come now. everybody, we’ve got to get busy. Bagiev says-----(tapping book cruder arm) (Kilter Miss Kmtcc Grateful) Miss Grateful: Allay your fears, friend Birdlore, I have just had a conference with the captain about the Advisability of putting on our life preservers. Yarnspin: Oh yes. I suppose vou’vc been kidding the captain. Miss Grateful: You’re unkind. Mr. Yarnspin. I mean business, and it's a good thing I do. Your intentions are all right, hut von have left tlie business end of the expedition to the women. Miss ClefTe: I agree with you. Miss Grateful. Men arc mere pieces of furniture. They are all right to stick around like other ornaments. W’hat you know about business would occupy a very small space. Yarnspin: Some score on us fellows, believe »m ’ There's nothing like getting used to it though. W’c’re all hardened benedicts. so we should worry.



Page 67 text:

Wood would saw wood. Willi llir.se suggestions in mind. I know you will be able to convert tlu enemy. Dist. (impatiently): All very well, if we don't get that breath knocked out of us before we get away from him (Looks at watch). I inic dies. (Sees trio aprpoaehiug) h. here they come at last, t Kilter Prof. ( ) ngel1 and Prof. keforme leaning heavily on Yarn-spin.) Yarnspin is not such a had truant officer after all. I’.y George! hat can Ik the matter? I hey look fairly bilious. Miss (iratcful: Pritbee. why so pale, foml lovers, prithee, wbv so pale? Dist: Where have von fellows been lingering at the ru- cial moment? By George! N on look like the reck of the Hesperus ! Yariispin: I found them leaning against the railing in a con- dition too sad to mention. Keforme (weekly ): Where we were making our contributions to the Atlantic. D'Angcll (feebly): I have given to Neptune my last full measure of devotion. I )ist : Well gentlemen, we have gathered here to map out our peace campaign. Now Mr. Keforme. what may we expect of von ? Keforme: Well, as I said before, our President appointed me the official recorder of tlu events of this expedition for the benefit nf future generations, who. I feel confident, will he living in a ‘world made better bv the socialistic ideals which I have helped to advance. s a chronicler of events and a modern historian. I shall faithfully perform my duty------when not otherwise engaged. D'Angcll: And my commission is to make a psychological study of the nations at war and establish standardization of table manners in the armies. Neurones differ, you know, and their habits, too. 1 must study.-----that is. (putting hands shakely to head) when 1 have once more recovered my equilibrium. You see. my friends, the law of habit is the focalization of consciousness upon the process to he automized. plus attentive repetition of the process, permitting no exception, until automatism------- P.irdlore (interrupting): B Jove! A brilliant thought iust struck me. My ambition is. henceforth, to dissect a German and get a permanent peace. a TV Angel I: A piece? A piece of what? P.irdlore: Peace, you numskull! Peace, the object of this ex- pedition ! Yarnspin : But that would be a German peace, and bow would von preserve a German peace?

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