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Page 10 text:
T. ftotalj, 4931.10 P. ftotall, 4220 R. ftotalj, 800
BP. ftotalj, 6Z76f4l38.
The patients were 50 WDXWN, poorly developed, poorly nourished
males and females in apparent chronic distress. Pupils were R.R.E. and R.
to L. and A. except for one case which did not R. to L., but did to A.
Positive physical findings on admission included: Z inguinal hernias, 3
peptic ulcers, 2 cases of alopecia presenilis, 1 perforated tympanic mem-
brane, 50 cases of obsessive-compulsive neurosis with paranoid ideation
and obvious ideas of reference, Z manic-depressives, 4 psychopathic per-
sonalities, several questionable cases of idiopathic familial absence of
frontal lobes, 3 with clinical evidence of Frohlich's syndrome, Z with
severe hypochondriasis, and Z exhibiting obvious precocious puberty.
Because of the history, physical findings and extreme apprehension
on the part of the patients, shock therapy was administered early in the
first year in the form of hazing by the sophomore class, exposure to 7647
Hashimoto-hours of total-body dissection, a continous infusion of Brizf
zee's effluent, repeated injections of Dougherty's diarrheic dissertations
and long-acting Davenport, all of which were without demonstrable effect.
Consultation was held with the Biochemistry department who felt that
the patients should be kept in a saturated atmosphere of utter confusion.
This was attended by a marked hyperfallergic reaction which was re-
fractory to treatment except for transient relief occasionally afforded by
ethanolic imbibition. A course of lunchfhour physical therapy was so
successful that it was chosen to replace the regularly-scheduled afternoon
laboratory procedures. The patients were benefited to the extent that
they were victorious in the annual athletic grudge match depicted on
these pages. However, this remission was shortflived and by the end
of the first year the patients had begun the progressive downhill course
which was to characterize the succeeding three years.
The beginning of the second year was characterized by increasing
spasticity, delusions of persecution, mental deterioration, nausea, vomit-
ing, diarrhea, Bacteriology, Pathology and Pharmacology. Due to the
ineffectiveness of the previous medication, a new course of action was
Massive doses of Goodman were give orally over a four-hour period
each day. This therapy was associated with sidefeffects of somnolence
Page 9 text:
UNIVERSITY OF UTAH COLLEGE OF MEDICINE
SALT LAKE COUNTY GENERAL HOSPITAL
Name: Class of '52 Admitted g 611049
This is the first medical school graduation of these 21 to 32 year
old embryo physicians.
"I wanna be an L.M.D.!"
The patients were essentially well until several years P.T.A. when they
noted the insidious onset of a desire to someday be referred to as the
bungling L.M.D. on a C.P.C. protocol. These feelings were aggravated
by itching palm, voyeuristic and sadistic desires, parental pressure, de-
lusions of grandeur, etc., and relieved by graduation.
Early in the course of the present illness, the patients enrolled in
pre-medical courses at various institutions of higher learning and during
the ensuing years noted many remissions and exacerbations of the above
symptoms. Approximately 6 months P.T.A., they received letters from
the medical school informing them that their applications for admission
were being seriously considered. This brought about a marked exacerba-
tion of their presenting complaints along with varying degrees of mac-
The patients subsequently consulted various L. M. D.'s, friends,
politicians and several bartenders, and the following studies were under-
taken: evaluation of pre-medical and entrance examination grades, deter-
mination of political-influence-levels, serial bank-balance estimations, LQ.,
frustration tolerance curves, the coin test, and the Ouigi-board maneuver
-all of which were found to be grossly abnormal. Consequently, the
patients were admitted for intensive study and possible radical treatment.
PH. 81 SR.:
At the time of admission, 46? of these patients were married and had a
total of 18 children. At the time of discharge, 657: were married, and
had a total of 43 children.
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